Facebook Live: Body Image and Acceptance
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Corinne helps women lose weight in a way that they can do it for the rest of their life, for loving themselves, for not stressing out about food, and learning how to do the things they say they’re going to do because they want to.
Corinne has 9,000 women that she works with from all over the world in PNPTribe. Next week she has 70 of her clients coming in for an event where they work one-on-one with her for 6 days. One of the days, they will work on body image. Corinne has been doing a lot of reading on body image to prepare herself.
Corinne was severely bullied as a child about her weight. She has struggled her whole life with body image and losing weight didn’t fix that. Losing weight gave her a different body to criticize and think wasn’t good enough.
She still struggles with body image. She doesn’t always wear dresses because she’s so insecure about her legs. When she wears dresses, every time she sees her legs, she has to make a decision if she wants to hate herself in that moment or not.
These days, more people are overweight. When she was a kid, there weren’t as many overweight people as there are today. She didn’t have any examples that taught her that even if you’re overweight you can still feel pretty and loved and play sports. The only message that she got was that you’re fat, you’re not good enough, you can’t play with us, you can’t be seen with us, you’re bad in sports.
Most of the clients that she has coming to this event have 50-100 pounds to lose. The biggest thing standing between them and weightloss is not loving themselves enough. They have judgement about themselves because of their body.
We don’t lose our weight because we don’t like ourselves. We lose weight when we love ourselves enough to give up eating to avoid our feelings. We lose our weight because it holds us back from experiencing a full life.
Corinne is reading “The Body Image Workbook” (2nd edition) by Thomas Cash PhD to prepare for her event with her clients. This book has shown her that she’s grown so much, but still has work to do. It talks about how there are two ways that we’ve developed our inner person. Don’t call her (your inner person) evil names or make her bad. She’s not bad. She is repeating things that have never been questioned.
Corinne’s legs have been something she’s been hyper-focused on. She was looking back at the things she was called when she was overweight and there was an emphasis on her lower body: thunder thighs, caboose, etc. If you’re thinking something today, it’s probably a collection of things you heard earlier in life. We develop a sense of who we are from the things that were said to us when we were kids.
When you understand that so much of the way you think now is from the past, that means you now get to decide that those experiences and opinions are wrong. They don’t have to be relevant to your life now. Believing those things said in the past are true is never going to help you feel better about you today. Don’t judge how it should have gone down back in the day. My child-like brain internalized it, but now I have an adult brain and can choose to think about it however I want. You can decide they were wrong, they were mistaken, that their opinions aren’t valid.
What I allow myself to think and feel today is most important. What if instead of asking people if you look okay in something, you just decide “I do look good.” Keep practicing loving everything.
For 30 years, Corinne didn’t know any better about her body. She based her opinions about her body on what she was told from others and the media about it. She now deserves the opportunity to spend the next 30 years working on loving her body and developing her own opinions about it. She’d rather spend 30 years learning to have her own back, then to spend the next 30 years basing her opinions about herself on other people’s opinions.
How many times a day are you willing to challenge yourself to think better? Go to bed exhausted everyday believing in yourself. Be tired because you constantly changed the conversation in your head all day long to say better things about yourself. You only get one shot at life, go out strong.
Just because you think something (my legs are big) doesn’t mean it’s true (that’s the sentence that I chose to think right now, do I want to keep thinking it or not?).
“I think my legs are big and I know that it doesn’t feel good to think that and it’s not the end of the world. I wish I didn’t think that. I’m still working on loving myself.”
When you notice your legs are big, you don’t go to Pinterest that second and find an extreme diet. Notice that you had a thought (a thought that you’ve probably had a thousand times) and that thoughts happen and you can work on them. Just because you don’t like something in the moment, doesn’t mean that you have to go find a solution (extreme diet) right then.
Corinne has a client who was upset because her 15 year old daughter wasn’t doing her homework. The mom thought she wouldn’t get into a good school and she would screw up her entire life. When it comes down to it, 15 year olds probably don’t want to do homework. It was unrealistic for the mom to force her to work on homework, when she should probably just let her fail a little. The mom needs to be okay with watching it.
If she’s not doing her homework, then it can turn into a learning lesson, instead of her mom bailing her out and never figuring out how to do things on her own. She doesn’t need to worry about her future if mom is doing all of the worrying. The mom went to “I need to solve them” instead of “what would be best here, what’s really going on?”
Stop thinking that you’re sick, worthless, or hopeless. You have an opinion of yourself based on your collection of thoughts about your body. Write about your opinions of your body. All of them. Be honest. Is this old baggage from your past? If it is, remind yourself that it is wrong information that has been practiced over time. It’s time to practice new things.
Even if you don’t believe it right, what are you going to tell yourself? We have to change the conversation if we’d like the conversation to change.
If you can squeeze a baby out your hoo-hoo, you can suffer a bad thought about yourself. If you’ve make it through bad shit, you can level up your thinking, it’s just a sentence.
We all have sentences that we say to ourselves. It’s better to look at them and work on them, than to stuff your face every night over them.
The only way Corinne will ever get used to wearing dresses is to wear dresses and let her brain hyper-fix on her legs, redirect her brain a thousand times, learn how to accept them, and talk differently to herself. Just not wearing dresses is not helping. It is avoiding the conversation in her head.
The same can be applied to having certain foods in your house. Don’t remove food because you’re afraid you’re going to eat it. If you remove it, you aren’t dealing with everything that comes up in your brain when you’re around it. You need to learn to be uncomfortable around it.
Corinne answered questions at the end of her Facebook Live. Make sure and check them out!