Do You Need Date Night?

Tonight is date night!!!! Love it.

We plan a date night every week. We figure it out by either getting a sitter or we plan to get Logan to bed, have the bed made, a special meal, drink, and line up quiet time to be together. 90% of the time it’s a sitter. The other is what I call Plan B because I get mine!

Why? Because our marriage is #1. Logan is #2. A lot of people get all “worked up” over that but that’s OK because it makes ME happy and this is my life; my blog.

Autism and Divorce

When Logan was diagnosed with autism in 2005 we were told the divorce rate was over 80%. Dealing with autism was hard enough; thinking it might break us was unthinkable.

It’s since been proven untrue but for us it’s what we needed to hear to get our priorities straight.

I waited all my life for Chris! He was the man I wrote about in my diaries as an obese young girl, he was the one who paved a path for me to see that I could love my body at any shape, and he also told me anything I wanted in life I could do including losing 100 lbs. if that’s what I wanted.

Here I was at a conference a few days after the diagnosis hearing that I had “lost” my child and would likely lose my husband. Oh hell no!

I didn’t get mad, but WE did cry a lot; and there was a pizza in the middle of one night. Just sayin. From that point on a weekly date night was on the list. Logan was now #2 behind our marriage because selfishly I wasn’t losing my husband to anything – not a woman or autism.

How Date Night Keeps 100lbs Off

Date night has been a key part of keeping my weight off because it’s my night to fill my love tank. Not only that, but I know in my heart one day Logan will have his own kids who demand a lot of attention and he will know that his wife and he deserve a night to just be in love. We’re teaching him to celebrate marriage; not sacrifice yourself for kids until marriage is a job.

I never feel like that. My marriage feels like fun. It’s exciting. It’s passionate, silly, romantic, and sometimes work. But 90% of the time it’s joy.

I was looking for information to “back me up” here about the glory of date night and came across this.

Key points from the NY Times

“If you want to keep your marriage alive, you must, must, must make a date night once a week.”

“Sustaining intimacy is probably the most challenging task a human being has in his or her lifetime.” says Jared Scherz, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples.

Plan a regular date. It doesn’t have to be fancy, say couples who stay connected.

It doesn’t take much; one or two hours out is “enough to get the recharge.”.

Some people are heeding the call, establishing a date-night routine even before their love threatens to get stale.

If all this scheduling, sitter-finding, unplugging and seducing sounds like a lot of work, it is. But it’s worth it.

“Before you were parents,” says Stern, “you were these two great people.”

Date Night IS Self-Care

Date night is when I not only celebrate my love of our marriage, but it’s also my self-care. It’s when I get to balance being healthy with a little fun food and wine. My own weight loss journey is easier when I feel loved, cared for, special, beautiful, and adored.

That’s what happens on date night because we aren’t focused on Logan. We do that the rest of the week and when we have family date night. We focus on each other, and in life there’s not enough time where you can truly connect.

Do you have regular date nights? If you do, what do you? And, if you don’t how can you start?

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  • Kathleen Horacek says:

    My husband comes from a family of ELEVEN (yes that 11) children. His mom says that she and George always planned one night per month to spend with each other and then they put a little bit extra in the offering the next day 😉

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