We are not going to expect anyone this holiday to read our minds. This is not a skill that suddenly has been marketed and people could buy off the QVC to show up and be able to read your mind. If you don’t want something, say something, period. If you do not want to eat something, you need to say, “No.” You do not need to sit there and be all worked up that somebody’s food pushing you. If one of you comes back and says, “Well, yeah, Corinne, they did food push me. They tied me down to the buffet. Next thing I knew they were shoving food in my mouth.” I will give you a pass. But if that is not happening, then you are going to have to say, “No.” And sometimes you will have to say no repeatedly, because they’re used to you eating. You’ve changed the game this year.
They don’t know this new you. They’re like, “What? Every year, you’ve been the first one in line for third on pie. What are you talking about?” And I will tell you, you guys, I want you to think about this. So many of you, somebody will say something to you or somebody will do something, and you will make it mean like they must not like me. They must be blah, blah, blah. If you ever in your life have had someone do or say something and you made it mean something fucking ridiculous, then don’t be shocked that if you go to Thanksgiving, and you say no to pie, that your mama cries. She’s going to make it mean that somehow you remember that argument you guys had at 16. That’s what happens. Brains don’t work right. You’re here because probably your brain ain’t working so great.
Please do not expect to go to the holidays and everybody’s brain work amazing. They’re not working on it. Their brains are more broken than yours. So let’s just be like, “Bless their heart. Like mama, I love you so much. Please stop crying. I liked the first slice of pie. It was so wonderful.” You don’t need to know what’s being served in order to do right by yourself. You just don’t. Now, 98% of our life, I will promise you that if you were to look at your… There’s a handful of you that might travel more than me. The majority of my life though, I can plan and know exactly what I’m going to be eaten. And it’s not going to be full of shock and awe, and all that kind of stuff. We do have some holidays. Sometimes we go out to eat and we do things.
But what most of you do is you use that as an excuse to screw up a lot of the month, or the whole weekend, or the next few days. If you really just not make it a big deal that you’re not going to have total control over just knowing ahead of time exactly what food is going to be served. And you think, but I have total control of what my hand goes into my mouth. Then you realize you have all the control you’re ever going to need. Do you know what the ultimate gift you can give yourself is? It is to break ‘F-it’ habit. The habit of throwing in the towel. The habit of doing the ‘F-it.’ Breaking that this time, saying like, “No matter what, I don’t just turn my brain off. I am willing to do it imperfectly. I am willing to judge myself while I continue to eat. I am willing to feel shitty that I’m eating, versus numb and eating.” Have a different experience. The only person who’s going to give you a different experience is you.
And for a lot of you who have ‘F-it’ as your best friend habit, that’s the first one to break. To be like, you know what, I don’t care if I eat all the macaroni and cheese. And if I have all the potatoes that have the cream and the butter in them, which that is what we have at my house. I don’t know what other kinds of potatoes there are, y’all. Tell me how else y’all are making mashed potatoes. I’m just like, I just thought they all had cream and butter. That’s what makes them delicioso. But it’s that. It’s like eating it without turning off your brain. There’s no point. Just don’t eat the same food. You might as well listen to the conversation you’re having. You might was well listen to why you’re doing it. You might as well hear the judgment you have about yourself, so that you can at least stop that part.
You have way more, better chance of changing your habits by staying conscious, versus going unconscious. If you, let’s say you’ve leveled your food up. You used to be somebody who ate pizza every night, take-out all the time, round the clock, cookie dough, all the things. And this year you’re like, you know what? I’ve really gotten to where I enjoyed my fruits and my vegetables. And like, when I snack, I’m having apples and all the things. So you don’t have that stuff around as much. But you want to bake this holiday season. You might be feeling some angst. Your brain will first go to, which was my brain wanting to go to first was, oh God, this is probably going to be hard. You’re not used to being around this kind of food. And then I just calmed myself down and just said, “You know what? That’s very natural for my brain to think that.”
And then I went to the land of telling myself, you’re always in control around food. When you eat a salad, you don’t seem to have problems. So let’s not try to equate that just because we substitute intake that suddenly we’re going to have problems. We do know the skill of putting our hand to our mouth in a responsible way. Because we do it with these foods. The only thing that changes with all this other stuff is, am I going to panic? Am I going to get scared? All because of how I’m allowing myself to think. So I started telling myself, “It’s going to be all right. You do know how to eat. There’s plenty. There’s more meals across your lifetime.” Even with all the times that I was overweight, I am sure I have ate more meals where I stopped when I had enough, than I have when I’ve just been like, oh my God, I can’t control myself.
And so, there’s that. And then the next thing is, I’ve been thinking about what if it’s going to be so amazing and easy to be someone who bakes and to be around all these foods. And you just are like, see, I know exactly what I’m doing. Let’s picture that. Let’s visualize that. Let’s not visualize going face down in shit. Let’s not visualize restricting ourselves. Let’s not think that we can’t have these things. They just go on a doable holiday plan. And then the last thing that I’m doing is I’m also wanting to hear whatever it is my brain does. I really am curious that as I keep making these foods, what’s going to be different? What is my thinking going to be around them? And the moment that you drop into just listening and being curious, what can’t happen with curiosity and listening is judgment, resistance and shaming. Judgment, resistance, and shaming only gets you to either eating the foods or feeling like ass and not having them.
That’s the only two things that ever happens. What I want to do is I want to just be like, “I am okay. If my brain goes back to old diet mentality.” I want to be okay. If my brain gets a little scared and panicky. I want to notice it so I can work with my brain. So I can talk to it. So I can call myself down. I’ll get plenty of practice over the next few months of noticing what my brain does, and calming it down and having a new conversation. And that’s how I want a lot of you thinking about your holidays, because I think sometimes you go in and you think your thoughts are bad. These are going to screw me up. This feels so terrible. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. I need to think more positively or bad things are going to happen. None of that’s true.
Some people are just being very selective. They’re just being very selective about what they’re going to have. They’re like, this is worth it and this is not worth it. I think that is really good. I have you do this in the holidays workshop, guys, in the workbook. But it’s really important before you go on your trips and before you go do things, what I would do is I would make sure that you review, these are the things that I decided when my rational brain, and I’m not around all the food and my habit brains in gear. One more time, these are the foods that I have decided are totally worth it. And here’s my plan. And here are the little tricks I’m going to do. And here are the foods that a lot of times I just won’t, but they’re so not worth it. But they may taste good and whatever, but it’s a King’s Hawaiian roll.
Like I can’t get that any time I ever want. I do not need to have that on Thanksgiving. If your mama is making homemade bread, that’s one thing. A King’s Hawaiian roll is that the end cap at any grocery store you want. I’m going to make my plate. I get to put anything that I want on it. But the deal is, is I get one plate and I have to see white space. She’s like, it can’t be so covered that I can’t see white space in the plate. And she didn’t mean just around the edges, guys. She meant there’s some breathing room. Like mashed potatoes and the macaroni and cheese ain’t just playing all lumped up together. They’re separated just the tad. So I thought that was an amazing tip. I thought that one was so good. A lot of people, what they do is they go and they get their favorites first on their plate, and they get just enough so that they really show their brain, we get to have what we want.
They’re putting some stuff down on their plate first. It’s like, I’m getting to have what I want. Then you go back and you fill in with the healthier options. If you do tend to be anxious, and worked up, and tempted and have cravings and stuff, limit the amount of time you loiter around food. I want you to be thinking about this. I want you to put a no loitering sign square in the middle of your brain. There will be no loitering this Thanksgiving. There will be no loitering in the drive-thru lines. It will be no loitering… Like if we go to the gas station, I keep my ass in the car. If I typically go by M&M’s, guess what I’m going to do? I’m going to tell everybody, “Hey, anybody that goes in, I just want to let you know, I’ll take a water and I’m good. I’m not even hungry. I’m saving myself for the feast.”
Whatever you need to do. Declare what you want to have happen. Because here’s what I catch y’all doing. This is the bullshit of which will happen on Monday. Somebody will be like, “I had my plate. And blah, blah, blah. And I was sitting in the car. We were running on the fumes. My husband came back and he had all my favorite candy. Because that bastard, that’s how he loves me. And he sabotaged me. And I ate candy all the way there. Next thing I knew I was in fuck it mode.” And it’s like, well did you tell him not to buy you candy? And 90% of you will be like, “No, I never said a damn thing.” If you’re like me, what happens is you go through life and you want to eat. You want to drink. Things look good.
It makes your mouth water. All the things happen. I promise you, I don’t ever go out to eat and I don’t see somebody eating something, and I’m like, ‘That looks good. I wish I’d ordered that. I wish I could have that.” All those thoughts still go through my brain. To this day, I still think, I wish I could have that. As if somebody in the world has said, “Corinne, you can’t have it.” I just watch it. And I’m like I can have anything I want, and today I chose to eat a salad. Today, I chose to eat a bun-less burger and a side salad. Whatever you choose. So it’s just understanding that sometimes your brain is going to throw that up. And then what it also does is it will say, “Yeah. But that’s some bullshit. That’s just what your brain saying.”
Your brain, the other side of it, the one that you start learning to condition to have a different conversation. It starts getting into the mix. And that’s how it all works. Here are just some tips though, that I have been collecting for you guys. Number one, we do not hang around assholes and then expect ourselves to not want to shove our face in pie. If you were at a holiday function and someone is acting a jerk, here’s how you manage your mind. You don’t make it mean, I’m not going to be able to tolerate this. Or they don’t say something about you, and you believe them and get upset. And you don’t go falling immediately into the trap of, they shouldn’t say that about me. Look, they already said it. You sitting there and getting indignant and upset, guess who gets upset? You. They’ve already said the words. It’s already out in the open.
Everything else you feel after it comes out of their mouth will be your decision. And if you know that you typically eat when you get upset, or when you get anxious, or pissed, or something, don’t put yourself in the room with people that you’re not quite ready to manage your mind around yet. I’m all about us working our brain and stuff, but sometimes we can control the circumstances a little bit. So if you’re at the holiday function and you keep going into the room where grandpa always makes comments on everybody’s weight like it’s a religion. And you walk in thinking he shouldn’t say that. It’s your fault for walking in the room if you don’t like the words and you haven’t figured out how to not let them stick to you like glue. So don’t go in those rooms, if you can.
I know you can’t control all of that, but some of you need to check yourself a little bit. And just be like, where do I keep stepping on the landmines? How do I keep setting myself up for hearing shit I don’t want to hear? Control some of that yourself ahead of time. Just be like, you know what? If I see cousin Jane come walking in the room, and she’s usually got a bitchy comment for everybody, I’m going to walk my ass out of the room. This would be a good time to go to the bathroom. Oop, did I leave the car running? Whatever you got to do. All of us, not many of us have a bunch of assholes that we’re going to have to spend our weekend with, but some of us do. And this is for all of you. Assholes typically don’t change over the year.
It’s not like you’re going to walk in and be shocked that your cousin is still talking bullshit. Do not go in dehydrated. I have for years drank extra water, extra water. One, it’s because the last thing you want to do is you want to be going in so thirsty that you end up overeating just for the dehydration. If you have enough water in you, you’ll already have some of that low level hunger already done. Your stomach won’t have so much room. So it’s kind of just like a physical trick in order to not put so much in. The other thing it does is typically at Thanksgiving some of the foods are going to be higher in the sodium. So you kind of want to be ahead of it. Because when you eat those foods, if you’ve been eating, let’s say pretty healthy or whatever, and you’re not used to eating some of the things that you’re going to be eating.
You’re going to bloat up real fast. And having water is really good insurance for you for Friday and Saturday when your body’s going to hold water for a couple of days. Guys, most of you, I would anticipate, even if you didn’t over eat, just sodium alone. And especially if you’re traveling. Or if you’re the mama, who’s doing all the cooking and you’re running around, just the cortisol and the adrenaline that you’ll be using through the holiday can make you gain two to three pounds real quick. It is not fat. It is not you, a failure. Do not allow your brain to go to the dooder about this. Just know, this is no different than vacation. What goes up fast, always comes down just as fast. What fucks you up is when you go to the dooder when you weigh in, or you go to the dooder, because you feel fluffy. And then you keep eating.
You keep eating because of it. Yeah. You’re going to gain weight. But if you don’t do that, guys, is so much better for you. Just be prepared for a little rebound sometimes. There’s some rebound water. Sometimes, and especially if you’re around people you’re not used to being around for a long time, just rebound with some of the cortisol and that kind of stuff. So be prepared for that. A lot of people are doing one plate, no seconds. And they’re not taking anything home. I think not taking things home is a great idea, so that you’re not staring at it the whole time. Just enjoy it. And for those of you who go to places where it’s insistent that you take it home. Here’s what I used to do. Thank you so much. I’d leave. And I would say, “Chris, stop at the first gas station.” And I would just throw it away.
I’m not going to eat it. I might as well just throw it away before I even get it to my house, so that I’m not sitting there and having to manage my mind around it. If you got a homeless shelter, you go for it. But if you don’t have a homeless shelter, guys, if you’re not going to eat it and it’s going to be a problem, do not think that somehow you over eating and blowing your weekend plan saves the world. It doesn’t. You over eating isn’t not wasting it. You over eating is wasting your time, your money and your life. So do not sit there and con yourself into the idea, like we don’t waste food. If you’re overweight, you’re wasting food a lot. That is the God’s honest truth. And I want everybody to realize that. When we are overweight, it is because we are eating too much.
And that is a waste. Waste of time, waste of life, waste of health, waste of it all. I would rather see you be like, give yourself some wiggle room on saying, “You know what? This is the day I would like to eat to full.” I don’t need to be busting my gills and about ready to puke. But I for sure want to like be like, “And that was a good meal.” I know when I feel full, versus, whoa, God. I don’t like a, “Whoa, God,” moment. But I do like sometimes to just be like, you know what, I’m eating to full today. I’m not eating until satisfied. There is a difference. So have a little extra. And if you want to do that, I like putting the stuff that I want on the plate first, to ease… It just kind of, for me, it’s like I sit there and my thought is, see, look at me, I’m getting to have what I want.
You take containers with you ahead of time. Leave them in the car. And if somebody is insistent and you’re like, “Well, yeah, okay. I’d like to take some of this.” Here’s what I’ll do. I brought containers. Let’s make me some lunches, and some snacks, and some things and food prep your shit right there in their kitchen. No shame in this game. They’ll probably be thrilled to watch you do it. Whatever day where you’re really going back home and you’re doing your stuff, really be gentle and kind to yourself by coming up with the plan for that day. So if you travel, make sure that if you can, maybe you have some groceries delivered on that Saturday or that Sunday. Maybe you make sure you get all the clothes washed. The first thing you do is you come home and you don’t even stop in the bedroom.
You just take the laundry and you put everything in it. One of the travel tips that we have is when we travel is we take trash bags and we put them in our suitcases. Then as we dirty clothes, we sort and put our clothes in trash bags, so that when we get back home, it’s easy to get the washing going. You could have the food delivered. One of the things that we used to when we used to travel a lot for holidays, when we would go to Union City and we would come back, is I would stop off at a Mexican restaurant on the way home. And I would order four things of fajitas. They would basically give me a sheet pan of fajita mix of steak and chicken that you can put on any salad.
And I would just tell them, I don’t need chips and I don’t need the wraps and all that kind of stuff. I just want that. I want the guacamole. I want rice and a lot of lettuce. And then we had food and we had stuff for like three days. And so we would just eat on that just to make it easy. And we’d just pick that shit up. And Mexican restaurants will do that all the time for you guys. I would hack using restaurants. Chris and I can eat a soggy Subway, no problem. But sometimes what we would do is we would also just stop at a Subway. We weren’t going to have time to go to the store and me do a food prep. I would go to Subway and we would get two to three foot longs and cut them in half.
And we would just eat on those for three days. It’s not fancy, but it got the job done. You can eat that and some baked chips, and you got food for a couple of days. We used to do stuff like that. I just like to put my brain to work on, I want to make sure that when I get home, that I’m not tempted to be in the dooder about what I ate, or making it hard on myself to get back into routine and all that kind of stuff.
I always tried to have this mindset of, what is the best way for me to be able to make it easy, to get right back on plan right back into real life? Think about your future self and give her some gifts. Keep the habits going no matter what, so that when you get back, there’s no restart. There’s no I’m off the rails and have to redo it. Guys, for most of you, you’re going to do just fine. You’re going to do better than you’ve ever done. Be shocked how much easier it can be. You’re going to try all these little tips and tricks. And be like, oh my God, this is the first year that I didn’t eat until my eyes rolled back into my head…
