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Episode 227: Purpose and Desire | No BS Weightloss
August 6, 2021

Episode 227: Purpose and Desire

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One of the most asked questions I get is, “How do I keep going when I want to quit my diet?”

If you’re like me then you are GREAT about getting started. I’m sure Weight Watchers had a picture of me at the head office in honor of all my Monday morning contributions I made throughout my life.

Then I heard this quote on a Peleton ride the other that stopped me in my tracks.

“Purpose gets you started. Passion keeps you going.”

I always had a good reason to start. It was Monday. I was sick and tired of my clothes not fitting. My best friend was starting a new workout. I wanted to finally feel good about myself.

What I didn’t have was passion to keep going when shit hit the fan. I didn’t have gas in the tank to keep going after a few weeks. I didn’t know how to keep going when I wanted to quit.

THAT WAS MY PROBLEM!

Inside the No BS Weightloss Program, I teach MORE about how to keep going to lose weight than anything else.

The diet industry fails us by only giving us plans and wishing us “luck.” What we need to know is how to keep going when we want to quit.

Now I’m helping you figure this out in episode 227: How to keep going when you want to quit.

I’ll give you the THREE THINGS you must do if you want to go from quitting when it gets hard to pushing through because you’re all-in on being a finisher.

You’ll learn how to…

Find a why that works (and how to use it).

Keep your why front and center (instead of forgetting it when you need it most).

Talk about what you’re doing to lose weight with passion (instead of like an asshole creating dread and exhaustion that leaves you needing a break from your diet by the weekend).

Click here to listen to Episode 227: Purpose and Desire.

Transcript

Corinne:
Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight-loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight-loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you’re ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

Corinne:
Hello everybody, welcome back. So today, Kathy and I are going to talk to you today about a concept that I actually heard doing a Peloton ride. So if y’all don’t know, number one, I love my Peloton bike. I actually love not only the bike, but I use the app for runs a lot. So even if you don’t have a Peloton bike guys, if you just want some really good workouts, I would highly suggest their app. I use the runs on the treadmill. I also use them outside, so very often I will do their runs outside even though they’re all doing it on the treadmill.

Corinne:
The other hack on this one is, they have a whole walking series, and inside their walking workouts, which they’ve got hundreds of these things. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, and they’re always doing new ones, is they have walk runs that are really good for beginners, and they’re super interesting. They have great music. But this podcast is not about the Peloton. It is literally not about the Peloton, but I want to say this. One of the reasons why I love the Peloton app is the instructors are highly motivating. There is so much thought work that, I will be doing a class, and I’m literally picking up my phone in the Notes app, typing things that they’re saying because they’re so pivotal. They’re so in the moment, and it makes me think of things that I even want to say back to you guys. I get ideas on podcasts. And so today actually came from one of Alex Toussaint’s rides, who is, he’s literally hands down my favorite instructor. I just think he’s a great blend of… he’s very motivating. He also is hilarious, and I love the hiphop, and he’s always doing hiphop rides. So there’s-

Kathy:
I bet he’s pretty too, isn’t he?

Corinne:
He’s also gorgeous, that does not hurt. He’s got great arms. You know how I love good looking arms, he’s got great arms. But I’ve been riding his rides since I got that bike, and I just love them. Honestly though, he’s highly motivating. When I do his rides, I always hear a nugget. And so the other day, I was just doing a ride, and it stopped me dead in my tracks when he said, “Purpose is what gets you started, but passion is what keeps you going.” So we were just going hard, and going ham, and he was talking about in the ride, that a lot of people… he wanted all of us to think of ourselves as part of the Peloton family, and that lots of people start, but that lots of people don’t keep going.

Corinne:
And he was just basically talking to us about that, and I was sitting there thinking about even just our No BS women, people who listen to the podcast. It’s so easy when it comes to weight loss for us to like, here I am. I’m going to get started. I’ve got my list of whys. I have a purpose. Either I’ve got the diagnosis, I’ve hit that point on the scale of… We always talk about how most people have a high end. If I see that number, my shit gets straight. For me, it was always around 250. About every time I hit 250, I could lose a good 75 pounds. I don’t know what the magic number around 250 was, but for me, that was the shit tolerance where I would hit. For some people, it’s 10 pounds above their weight. Everybody always has this number. And so it may be a special occasion. A lot of times people can get highly motivated to lose some weight for a vacation, or for a reunion or a wedding, those kinds of things.

Corinne:
So purpose is always one of those things that starts you up. But how many of us have started trying to lose weight for a vacation, for an event, for a diagnosis, we’ve hit our shit tolerance. We’re determined to wear a certain size or whatever. And what ends up happening is we fizzle out at some point. We’re going, going, going, and we either fizzle out before we get there, or we get there, do the thing, and then we regain the weight. We go back to our old habits and stuff.

Corinne:
So one of the things that I think’s important in weight loss is, purpose is only going to get you so far. And I watch our members do this a lot. They’ll be posting, and they’ll not able to say no to a food [inaudible 00:05:27] or something, and they’ll think it’s because their why is not big enough or whatever. It’s like that, I think the purpose getting you started and the passion is what keeps you going, we don’t spend near enough time in weight loss on the passion end of things. We do a lot of talking about what we’re going to eat, saying, “I have to eat this. I should be eating this. Well, this is what’s on my plan today.” We talk about the things that we’re doing for ourselves very passionless.

Corinne:
And so when we do that, guess what? We don’t have the fuel to keep going. So I was thinking about this whole statement, and I’m going to give you guys three ways to block this out. Do these three things to kind of not only get started, but to create the passion to keep going. But before I give you that, I want to kind of tell you how this worked in my own story, and if Kathy can think about her own story too.

Corinne:
When I was losing weight for the… I don’t know, the first 30 times that I attempted, I did not talk about the journey passion-full, and I know that’s not a word, but we’re going to call it a word. Full of passion, let’s put it that way. I would say things like, “I have to go to the gym. If I don’t, I’m going to quit on myself. I have to eat this, because if I eat something else, I’m going to stuff my face.” I talked about these amazing things I would be doing for myself, whatever diet I was doing. Whatever decisions that I was making. Whatever way that I was showing up, I always talked about it from this mindset that had anything but passion involved. I was not tying myself to the idea of, “Oh my God, you’re changing so much,” or, “I really love doing this because.” I didn’t do any of that stuff. I just talked to myself in this very flat, almost scared way all the time. It was like I was driving my anxiety up.

Corinne:
Think about this. If every time I worked out I said, “You’re probably going to quit if you ever miss a day,” then every single time it was time to go work out, I would have what would be called normal dread. I mean, back in the day when I worked out for weight loss, this was not my last time. I always had to work out in the evenings after work, because I worked at a restaurant company, you didn’t show up at 8:00 o’clock unless you wanted to be a loser. We always showed up at 6:30, 7:00 o’clock in the morning, and we worked until at least 6:00 o’clock at night, and that was in the offices. Because we always had this mindset that in the office, we’ve got to work like the restaurant employees. If the general manager’s got to be there 12 or 14 hours a day, all of us in the offices should be there 12 or 14 hours a day. So if I was going to work out, gyms didn’t even open before I would go into the office.

Kathy:
That’s early.

Corinne:
I know.

Kathy:
Back in the day.

Corinne:
Yes. Yeah, back… I don’t even want to say the restaurant company. Well they’re pretty much defunct now, for good reason. But, so I would always have to go at night. Well of course, I’d be tired at the end of the day, and my brain would have the normal chatter of, “This is going to suck. You’re tired.” Blah-blah-blah. But I would also have not only that talk, but underneath it was this whole idea of, “Everything’s riding on this workout. If you don’t go, you’re going to gain all your weight back, and you’ll never go back because you’re such a quitter.” All of that was the real voice that was happening.

Corinne:
And so I think back, I’m like no wonder I quit so many diets. If I wanted to go out to eat, before I’d go out to eat, all I would tell myself is, “Whatever you do, don’t order what you want, because you’ll just eat all of it and fuck everything up.” I’m like, makes sense now looking back I quit so many diets. Because I was doing them from anxiety. I was creating no passion, no love for the process. Never thinking anything nice about… the only time I’d ever allow myself to think anything nice was on weigh in day, and the only way that I could think something nice is, I better have lost some weight. And not just a little. If it was just one pound, that’s not enough. It needs to be at least two pounds before you can even think you’re doing a good job. I really tried to lose weight always from this mindset of, “You don’t deserve to feel good about it until you’ve lost all the weight. So until we get there, you need to feel like shit.”

Corinne:
And the hardest thing about losing weight is not the things that we do. It’s the things that we think. And most of us are eating because of feeling like shit, and if you want to be able to keep going, if you want to be able to finish, if you want to be able to have the energy to override some of your I don’t want tos, to override a little bit of dread before you have to do your food prep, or before you go to the grocery store, or before you whatever, cook dinner, whatever it is. If you want to be able to override the dread to go work out, if you want to be able to override an urge at the end of the day, you can’t go into all of that and expect yourself to have the emotional capacity to do something you’re not wanting to do in the moment when you’re trying to do that from a fear-based mentality.

Corinne:
And when he said that, it was like, “No wonder so many of my past diets failed.” I mean, I know I’ve thought about this, but I really was thinking about it. When I finally did lose my hundred pounds, I’ve told you guys this thousands of times, but it really was because I was giving myself credit for every little thing I was doing. It dawned on me somehow that I could not keep talking to myself like an asshole, and expect to be able to finish. I was not going to be able to drag myself along anymore.

Corinne:
And I think one of the reasons, one of the big purpose reasons why I lost weight this last time was, I knew how shitty I was feeling. I, for the first time, wanted to lose weight for more than just… I guess most of the times back when I was trying to lose it, I just didn’t want to be fat. I was just like, “I just want to wear cute clothes.” I just had what I would just call lots of surface reasons, but this last time, I really knew how bad I felt emotionally about myself. And my purpose was, if I don’t do something for me, I don’t know where this is going to end up. And it wasn’t just going to be me eating myself into a grave. I was so depressed. And so the purpose for me at first was, I’ve got to feel better.

Corinne:
And I think when I knew that I wanted to feel better, it kind of unlocked that little bitty door that said, “The only way we’re really going to feel better is we’ve got to quit thinking all this shit you think all the time. There’s got to be a different way to think about things.” And for me, that is where everything turned into the passion. I started looking at the things that I was doing for myself with gratitude, with excitement. I wasn’t sitting there holding back my own kudos every day, because I was like, no. The only way to lose all the weight is to applaud yourself each day, not to say you’re still not good enough. You’re still not good enough. We’re not good enough until we get to the end. I really had made that connection.

Corinne:
And I want to really implore all of you, when you’re trying to lose weight, you really do have to fall in love with your process, and you have to fall in love with yourself. You have to create an experience that is unlike any other for you in your mind if you want to get there. It’s one of the reasons why No BS is such a different weight-loss program than anything else that’s out there. It’s because I’ll teach you how to lose the weight and some simple tactics, but you need to spend a lot of time around people, around me, and around ideas of, how do I start thinking like someone that I always dreamed of? Not just getting the body, but literally getting that brain in me. So let’s go over the three things, because if you don’t have passion for your process, if you don’t have the passion for yourself, and you don’t have passion for your future, you won’t get there. Passion is the fuel that takes you there. We cannot keep beating ourselves up all along the way.

Kathy:
So before you go to those three things, I have a couple things to say.

Corinne:
Okay, go.

Kathy:
The first one is, this whole concept of falling in love with your process, and falling in love with yourself, you really hit home on something as I looked back on my own diet history. When I did keto, I lost a lot of weight really fast. I mean, it was one of those, not just keto, but one of those ketosis diets where you peed on a stick and they told you all the things. But I hated that. It was excruciating, because I had to fix my own food, food I really didn’t even like. I won’t eat ground turkey to this day, because I ate so much of it on that diet. And I had to watch my family eat things that I really wanted, so that diet was excruciating. But I muscled through it, because I didn’t trust myself to get back on the diet if I came off it.

Corinne:
Yeah, and just so everybody… so explain to them, because I want to make sure that we don’t muddle your message, which is it wasn’t excruciating because of keto.

Kathy:
No, it was excruciating because of keto. Whatever it was-

Corinne:
But this is the thing.

Kathy:
But it was my thoughts about, right.

Corinne:
It was her thoughts about it.

Kathy:
Yes.

Corinne:
So you could’ve done keto and it not be excruciating.

Kathy:
I have a very good friend who loves the keto. Is on it, and loves it, and her body feels great and all the things. But at that time in my life, doing that particular diet, you could’ve substituted Weight Watchers, or Jenny Craig, or American Heart Association, or whatever.

Corinne:
You could’ve put the four basics in.

Kathy:
I could’ve put the four basics in there, but I hated it, every single day, because I thought it was excruciating, because I thought, “This isn’t the thing for me,” because I thought, “I don’t trust myself to come off this diet and go back on.” That was a big thing for me. I did not trust myself.

Corinne:
Well, and focusing… so I just, the only reason why I want to unpack this a little bit is because it’s easy to throw out the word keto and people are like, “Oh yeah, that’s such a restrictive diet.” I think people think I hate keto. I don’t hate keto. I don’t hate any diet. I don’t even hate calorie counting. What I hate is that none of the other diets out there are teaching us how we’re talking to ourselves, because you can insert… because I watch people come through No BS all the time, the four basics are fucking amazing. I teach an amazing process, and I’ve watched people sit there and tell them… you can do the four basics. So I tell you guys, you can eat whatever the fuck you want.

Corinne:
And somebody will make their 24 hour plan, and plan for a salad. Their husband will be like, “Oh my God, I got a raise today, and I brought home pizza.” And they will sit there and eat their planned food, and have an excruciating experience, because all they’ll do is sit there and think, “See, I can’t have pizza.” Instead of, “I’m so proud of him for getting a promotion. That’s amazing.” But that, I want to pull that out, because I think that we have to be real careful when we’re talking about… when we talk about creating passion, guys, stop looking for diet plans. All of them work, and none of them work. Doesn’t matter. The excruciating part is the mental bullshit you put yourself through around what you’re doing. So even when Kathy was doing keto, keto was never her problem.

Kathy:
No.

Corinne:
It was the fact that she focused on how much she hated it, what her family got to eat that she didn’t get to eat, that she was never going to be somebody that could ever not eat these foods and be successful. That’s what feels excruciating, how we think about things. Now, this is not an advertisement for all of y’all to like, “Okay, Corinne’s told me how to think about keto. Now let me go do that.” It’s not that. It’s that, don’t start any weight-loss program, even my own, unless you are willing to open yourself up to, “I am going to change how I think about me, and process this. I’m going to learn how to talk…”

Corinne:
The hardest thing that I teach inside of No BS is how to get people to talk about things in a positive way. You would think that’d be… Everybody would be like, “What?” We do coaching on… I joke around all the time, it’s always slays me when this happens. “Corinne, I need coaching. I’ve lost 77 pounds, and I’ve got five to go, and all I do is sit around and worry I won’t lose those last five. I’m in anxiety.” But I [inaudible 00:20:26] this all the time. It’s like we all think like, “Well if I lost weight, I’d be thrilled.” It’s like, no you won’t.

Corinne:
Unless you learn how to find what’s right in life, unless you learn how to cheer-lead yourself, unless you learn how to turn off that negative nanny voice, then you’re going to get exactly what you want and still talk to yourself like a damn asshole. That’s why I was saying, if you don’t learn how to have passion for the process, passion for what you’re doing, learn how to flip that conversation on your head, I coach people every single week on their success and all they want to do is focus on what’s still wrong with them. And it’s like that’s why we’ve got to change this.

Kathy:
Right. So I lost a lot of weight on that diet, and a lot of others, even though I had that mindset. I hated my life, and I gained all the weight back every single time, whether it was, I don’t know, I did… you could count on two hands the different number of diets I did, but it was always that mindset. But then when I heard you speak, the mindset I came away with was so different. It was, “I don’t have to worry about what my family’s eating.” It was, “I can do this for me.” It was such a turn of the head, such a turn in my head about… telling Ken, “I’m going to fix these things for dinner, and if you don’t like it, you can go to Taco Bell.” It was so much more empowering for me, rather than feeling so disempowered because of what I couldn’t do, or what I had to do to lose weight. Now I can do these things to lose weight, and I can think these things to lose weight. It was just a total 180.

Corinne:
Well, and I think that that’s why this is… that whole sentence was so important, because so many of us, we get started on our weight loss journey with a lot of purpose very often. We’ll have at least one strong why, we’ll hit our rock bottom, whatever it is. But we will take the mindset of the broken person, and try to keep the broken mindset, and hope that the weight-loss is going to fix how we see ourselves, how we see the process and stuff. And it’s right the opposite, guys. And I know this is not always easy to understand, but I want you to think about it. If every day, if you woke up and you had a really strong belief of, “Just for today, there are things I can do to lose weight that might even be easier than what I’ve ever believed. Just for today, I’m going to eat the things that I plan, and tomorrow I want to eat different things.”

Corinne:
Versus what we normally do is we wake up and it’s like, “Well, I’m going to have to eat these things, and probably for the rest of my life. I’ll never be able to eat like everybody else,” and then we’ll make a plan, and we’ll pick a diet, and we’ll do those things. We don’t stay in this mindset of, what’s going to keep us focused today? What’s going to feel easy for us today? What is going to help us create the passion for ourselves like, “I bet I could do this today, and if I follow through, I bet tomorrow I’ll feel a little bit better about myself.” That’s how I lost my weight. I just literally woke up each day and tried to figure out where I was at for the day, and, “We’re going to do this. This is what we’ll do, and I bet tomorrow we’ll feel even better.”

Corinne:
I was always hedging my brain to create that passion for the next day, that passion for the day. I didn’t think really long-term, but as I did that, I built such a passionate mindset around everything that I was doing for myself. When I made a salad, I didn’t just be like, “Well, I’ve got to eat a salad.” If I made a salad, I would just tell myself, “I’m so proud of you. We’re eating salads now. This is so great. You actually like them.” I wouldn’t just sit there and think like, “Well it’s just a salad.” I would intentionally tell myself, “I think you actually like this. This is why, it tastes good.” We have to have those conversations, because we’re too used to having the alternate conversations, which is, “This won’t matter. It’s going to take forever to lose my weight. I wish it would just hurry up and get here.” We spend so much time and energy in that, that we forget where we’re not allowing our brain to focus.

Corinne:
So for all of you, step one. If we are going to lose our weight, and we are going to create passion for the journey, the very first thing we do is we do need to find why we do want it. Because here’s what happens. You’ve got to find lots of those whys, because if you don’t have a lot of whys, you’re not going to have enough passion to keep going. And let me explain how this works. So I teach… if you guys who all are listening at this point, in the first week of August I will be doing a Take Control of Food challenge. And on the, I believe it’s the third day of the challenge, I help you find lots of reasons why you want to lose weight. We talk about the importance of it, we’ll be talking about… we will do it live where you will find lots of whys, you will be with a lot of people who are in the challenge, and you will crowdsource other reasons why, so it will be a fertile why-ground for a lot of you who have a hard time finding them.

Corinne:
But what you need to do is you’ve got to find lots and lots of reasons why weight-loss is important to you, why making this change is important, why you want to do this. And you can just easily take a piece of paper out if you’re listening to this and you won’t make the challenge. I think we even have some, we may even have an episode on finding your why. If we do, we’ll put it in the show notes. But the easiest way to do it is take a piece of paper out, write about why you want to lose weight, as many reasons as you possibly can, from really deep to what you think is silly. But even put down the silly ones, the vain ones, the whatever. And then for a couple of weeks, add to the list each day. Just say, “All right, here’s my first round.” Then every single day for a couple of weeks, add a reason. Pay attention in your daily life as to what’s going on. Are reasons popping up for you? And add them to your list.

Corinne:
You need a lot of reasons why, because for me, when I first got started I really wanted to lose weight so that I could be a good role model for Logan, because I did not want him to get the obesity gene. I didn’t want him being bullied for his weight, so I knew that the best way to help Logan was to be able to change how I ate, and change how I lived, so that I was exemplifying for him. Because I know that kids model behaviors. Well that was all fine and good, and that worked really well in the mornings. But when it was late at night and he’d been crying all day, and I’d been dragging his ass all over the place, and it was like 8:00 o’clock and I’d want to eat, being a good role model was the worst reason. It did not matter in that moment. I needed to have other reasons why that would match the intensity of that moment.

Corinne:
So for me, one of my reasons why was I really wanted to be someone who never ate because she felt bad again. I just didn’t want to be that person. I’d spent a lifetime being that person. It meant a lot to me to figure out that version of me. It still to this day means a lot. It’s still one of my big reasons why for keeping my weight off is to… I want to be someone that when she feels bad, she’s there for herself, she’s compassionate, understanding as to why she feels bad, and she’s willing to listen to herself. I don’t want to be someone that needs to eat because of it. I want to be the kind of person who figures out that shit and is there for herself.

Corinne:
And so that why was one of those that when I would have urges at night because I did feel bad at the end of the day for whatever reason, helped me put a pause before I ate. It didn’t mean that I was perfect, it didn’t mean that it worked every single time, but it was definitely… it was like going from a mild… being an example for Logan was like a mild speed bump. Being someone who didn’t eat over a bad day who was there for herself became like a hurdle on a track. It was harder to get over. It didn’t mean that sometimes I wouldn’t straddle that bitch and figure out how to get over it or kick it down, but it meant I had a really big pause.

Corinne:
And so the reason why, when we talk about creating passion for the journey, it means that in your hardest moments you have something that brings you back to who you want to be. It keeps that future version of you kind of in your mind. And it also is, the more you focus on the version of you that you want to be, and the more that you remind yourself of that, that you have triggers to think about, you set little reminders in your phone, you’ve got your sticky notes, you’re writing it down every day, you do feel more passionate about your life. Because you move into the mindset of what you’re creating. You’re thinking more about what you’re creating in your life, you’re not thinking about how you fucked it up and need to fix it.

Kathy:
Right.

Corinne:
So number two is you do have to remind yourself of these whys daily. And so what I wanted to talk about here was, all right, so when you do these whys, what does daily reminder means? Number one, it means that you are going to write them each day. So create that big mega-list, and then what I would do is I would asterisk some of them bastards, the most important ones, and I would write them down every single day. Just like I write my goals down every day, anything that I’m working on, it gets written down every single day so I never forget it. Your whys, same way. So what I do for myself is, I’ll write down my goals, and next to each one I’ll write why this is important, why this is important. And if you want to take another step to create some passion for your journey, guys you can use this in everything. I’ve used it in business, I’ve used in weight-loss, I’ve used it in so many areas.

Corinne:
So you’re going to write down your goals, you’ll write down why it’s important, and one thing I’m going to do today. What’s my one idea, what’s the one thing I can do today to help this along? And then you plan that in your day. And it does not have to be grandiose. It can literally be, so if you’re working on not eating at night like, “I’m working on my 8:00 o’clock eating at night Corinne, this is my big thing.” So what’s one thing? “Here’s my goal, is to have seven days of not eating at night. This is why it’s so important to me. I really want to be someone who unwinds at night with their brain and not with their mouth. The one thing I can do today to do that is, before I eat anything, sit for two minutes and think about my why.”

Corinne:
Anything like that, and you can have a different thing you try each day. But that is how, when you do things like that, you start getting passionate about the process. Because your brain is moving towards how you can create, how you can do. The other thing-

Kathy:
The other thing… sorry.

Corinne:
Go ahead.

Kathy:
The other thing on step two, when you remind yourself daily, either you’re reading your list or you’re rewriting them, is that every day, you might have a different why that stands out that you want to work with. So for me, it might be waking up with my knees hurting. Well today, I want to see what I can do to improve my knee pain. How can I improve my eating to improve my knee pain? Or it could be the grandkids are coming over. Oh wow, the grandkids are my why today, so I’m going to focus here. So all of these whys are really great to have, because your focus may change from day-to-day. Some things are going to be more important than others on certain days.

Corinne:
Yeah. So another way to remind yourself, not only is it the writing, but it’s learning the skill of refocusing your mind in the moment when you are more focused on an immediate desire. So the way that I teach this inside of No BS that is helpful and is part of our program is, you want to identify, when am I most likely to be letting my brain focus on just what I want in the moment? We all have pitfalls. We all have our patterns, of when we’re just going to be like, “Oh, fuck it. I just want this.” For some people it’s weekends. For some people it’s 8:00 o’clock at night. For some people it’s when they get invited to lunch at work. Find where you’re most likely to only focus on your immediate desires, and then have a plan of action of like, “All right, when I’m only focused on what I immediately want, what will I think instead? What will I tell myself? And what will I do?”

Corinne:
And do that on paper. This is not something we do in our brain. Guys, stop trying to work things in your brain. It does not work. Y’all, I am a master coach mental ninja, and I teach the masses. And I don’t do my work in my brain. I do it on paper, because paper works. Your brain is full of shit. It’s in competition with everything else going on up there. So when you do it on paper, you are more likely… the thing about doing it on paper is not only are you more likely to follow through, but once you do it on paper, you’ve slowed your thinking down enough to where your brain is really capturing this information. And then your brain is seeing it, so it’s taking a photograph of it. And your brain is visualizing as you’re writing, so it’s creating a practice round of you doing it.

Corinne:
All right, so we’re going to go onto number three. So you are going to now… This is where a lot of the passion also comes. Probably the most. So the first couple is taking and getting aware of your purpose, and then integrating your purpose all the time, which ends up creating passion. The more you’re focused on the purpose, and when I say focused, it ain’t going to be habitually. For all of you who just want you to just naturally think about your purpose more often, get over it. You’ve got a shitty ass brain that’s going to throw up a lot of bullshit all the time. My members will know exactly what I’m talking about when I say this. Y’all’s busted thoughts ain’t stopping anytime soon. Your habit brain is going to send up your old ass stories, your self loathing, all that stuff’s going to come up way more often than all this other stuff.

Corinne:
What I’m teaching you to do is to be deliberate. To be like, “All right, if my brain is going to offer up bullshit all the time, I better be willing to double down and offer up some good shit on top.” That’s the only way that we get focused on where we’re going to go when we get passionate about our life, is to on purpose think differently.

Corinne:
So the last one is you’ve got to talk about what you do with passion. You’ve got to say all the time, like when I talked about those salads like, “I’m so glad I’m eating a salad today over what I wanted.” Kathy’s a good example of when she was in keto land, over there eating ground turkey, and her family’s having I guess… I’m not sure what they were eating.

Kathy:
Sloppy joes, and I wanted them so bad.

Corinne:
On buttered bread.

Kathy:
Buttered bread.

Corinne:
All the bread and a side of fries.

Kathy:
Yes, yeah.

Corinne:
So she could’ve easily have said, “I’m so glad I stuck to my plan today.” While she’s doing it, or she could sit there and be like, “That’s a fucking sloppy joe with bread. I don’t understand why I can’t have it.” Her brain was just going to, “This is excruciating, this is so hard. This is blah-blah-blah.” In those moments, if you want passion for the process, talk about it passionately. Say, “Yeah, that bread looks good, and…” Add some ands onto things. When old shitty comes walking in, “And I’m really glad that I’m doing what I said I would do. And, one day I’ll have a sandwich too, but today I’m proud of myself because.” It’s the constant redirection of getting you to be thinking in a way that feels better, that feels passionate.

Corinne:
And this is what will come up for you guys. “Oh my God, Corinne. That’s just so much thinking. It’s so hard.” It’s like yeah, but your other thing is fucking hard too. Like Kathy, when you were sitting there with turkey, it felt hard didn’t it?

Kathy:
Excruciating.

Corinne:
Excruciating, exactly. If you had have at least rerouted your brain, you could have felt excruciating, and you could’ve felt proud.

Kathy:
Exactly.

Corinne:
It’s like yeah, it’s a lot of work to do it. Here’s my thing. Y’all quit being so fucking lazy. Everybody wants to be lazy. They want to be thought work lazy people. It’s like, “Why can’t my brain just think what it should? Why can’t my brain just have all these good thoughts? I know these thoughts are busted, why do they keep coming back?” Why do you fucking care? Literally. Our brains are wired to think negative most of the time. Quit bucking the system. You’ve got a whole part of your brain that’s what I call underutilized and untapped. It’s called the reasoning part of your brain, that if you want to feel better, think some fucking better thoughts at the tail end of it.

Kathy:
Well my problem was, I was blaming the ground turkey for my excruciating. I wasn’t even taking ownership that my brain was creating the excruciating experience.

Corinne:
I know. You ruined turkey for yourself for the rest of your life.

Kathy:
I did, I really… but that’s what we do. We think we’re victims of the ground turkey. The ground turkey is making us miserable. No. [crosstalk 00:40:28] be in charge of it.

Corinne:
Yeah, like keto, ground turkey, Oprah, all these diets, they’re not making you feel bad. It’s you sitting there… stage one is feeling like shit, because you’re like, “Oh my God. I don’t get to have anything. Oh my God, probably never going to lose weight.” All that bullshit. Then y’all come up in the podcast, or join No BS, you get enlightened. It’s like, “Oh my God, I’ve got thoughts. Say what? I think exactly like that.” It’s like, “That shit’s optional? Okay, I’m all onboard. Now I’m going to think great thoughts, and weight loss will be easy.” Wrong.

Kathy:
Wrong.

Corinne:
Here’s what happens. You get the gift of awareness of all your shitty ass thoughts, you start hearing them all the time, and they you guys lump shitty thoughts on top. You’re like, “Oh my God, I feel so bad. I’m so broken. These thoughts will never stop. I can’t lose weight if I keep thinking like this.” It’s like, guys, that’s the thinking that has to go away. That sucks the passion right out of it. It’s like, we’re going to think shitty thoughts, and we’re going to put on top something that creates passion for the process.

Corinne:
Because this is what will happen, is that eventually what will happen is the more you say things like, “I love this choice because… I’m so proud of myself today for these things… In this moment I’m really enjoying this meal for these reasons… I followed through on my plan… it tastes better than I thought it would…” whatever it could be. When you do all of that, here’s what ends up happening. Each and every day, you feel a little bit better and a little bit better. Then it becomes a lot easier to naturally think those things about that stuff, but that happens after a long time.

Corinne:
For me, it took me a while to really fall in love with what I was doing for myself. At first, I fell in love not with the things I was doing. I was falling in love with, every single day, you’re doing something for yourself. Good job. I wasn’t enjoying all of the things that I was doing at first. I wasn’t setting myself up to do extremely hard things, but I promise you, I really wanted to be someone that was an athlete. That was a very important thing for me. I’d never played the sports. Every night when Chris would roll up from home, and I would go to the gym at 8:00 o’clock at night to walk on a treadmill for 15 minutes, I was not running out the door with gratitude and excitement. I was leaving the house tired, not wanting to go, ashamed that I would be the biggest girl at the gym.

Corinne:
At 8:00 o’clock at night, serious weight lifters are there. And I had to bundle all that up and go, and tell myself, “It’s 15 minutes today. This is important because…. Tomorrow you’ll be really glad you did.” And I would get up in the mornings. And even when I would walk in the door, I would feel the shame wash over me, because I would be the biggest girl there. And I would tell myself, “It’s only going to be 15 minutes,” rather than focusing on all the things that were wrong with me. And then I would go home and I would tell myself good job. Now I’m glad we did it, and I’m glad because of this. And if you’re going to be an athlete, it starts with these things. I had to do that, so that I could create the passion for the lifestyle. So I could create the passion for becoming the person I wanted to be.

Corinne:
So I hope that this was helpful today, that you really understand that we need purpose and passion, but the purpose is what starts us, and the passion is what will keep you going. So I just want to thank Alex Toussaint. If anybody knows him or has any contacts, please tell him that Corinne Crabtree’s an ultra-fan, and that I continue to show up at his rides like a boss. Anything else you want to add, Kathy?

Kathy:
No. I really love how you ended it with, “I’m glad I did it,” because sometimes that’s just where we start. If we tell ourselves, after we’ve made that choice, as hard as it was or as easy as it was or whatever, “I’m glad I made that choice,” you’re reminding yourself that you did do something right. And that, you can use that thought the next day. “You know what, if I make this choice again, I’m going to be glad I did it.” And that can kind of put your foot in the door of starting to talk a little bit more nicely to yourself, in a more lush way.

Corinne:
All right y’all. Y’all have a good one, and we’ll talk to you soon. Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to NoBSFreeCourse.com, and sign up for my free weight-loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts to help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet-isms. I’ll see you next week.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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