Corinne Crabtree:
Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy.
Corinne Crabtree:
My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. You’re ready to figure out weight loss then let’s go
Corinne Crabtree:
All right, everybody, welcome to the podcast, we are going to be talking today about your diet starting tomorrow. Basically, this is about the Last Supper. I would love it if Clubhouse would add a feature where people can flash their picture or whatever to let us know if you’ve ever done a Last Supper. But I will guarantee you if you have ever tried to lose weight you have.
Corinne Crabtree:
Let me explain what the Last Supper is and my theory on it. Then we’re going to get to the questions and things today. The first thing about it is we have a concept in our head of when we start … This is actually one of the questioners who came up and did my check. She’s already asking about this like, “How can I restrict when?”
Corinne Crabtree:
You’ve done a lot of diets in the past, I always call it we … About every woman I know suffers from some diet trauma. What ends up happening is right before you’re going to go on a diet there is the window of panic that your brain opens up. The window of panic is where your mind, like your habit brain, which is the unconscious 95% of your thinking all happens here. It is experienced a diet in the past, and for most of us multiple diets in the past where you have done types of weight loss programs that require you to be probably way more hungry than what you need to be in order to lose weight.
Corinne Crabtree:
You have removed vital food groups that actually keep your brain working, a lot of people will go on low carb, no carb diets, especially for women that can be extremely dangerous. Your brain is all fucked, here we go again, I’m fixed and I have keto flu, and we’re going to feel like shit, we’re going to yell at our partners and then mayhem ensues.
Corinne Crabtree:
We just basically … It’s this idea that your brain knows what’s coming. Your brain knows that you are fixing to be miserable and cranky, deprived, feeling you can’t have anything you want, walking around all day, every day, pruning for things, and telling yourself you can’t have them. The window right before that is when we want to do a Last Supper.
Corinne Crabtree:
It makes sense to our brain that if we are fixing to be extremely punished then we need to live it up now, because the misery is coming. This is a learned behavior over time in chronic dieters. One of the things I want to highlight here is that it’s not a big deal if you’re wanting to do a Last Supper. We are right now in the middle of a challenge. We’re also at the beginning of the month, where all kinds of people are going to be triggered to have diet mentality or Last Supper mentality.
Corinne Crabtree:
Let me tell you the three big times that always happens. Right before the first of the month, women go facedown in food, because they’re just like, “Oh my God. It’s a new month. I should make a plan. Let me eat all the things.” Monday is the second one. For a lot of people, every Sunday becomes the Last Supper, because every Monday they’re chronically stuck in a diet cycle.
Corinne Crabtree:
The third time when this typically happens is when you have picked a new diet, and you think you’re fixing to go all in on one. That could be at any time. That is also the third big trigger. What ends up happening is that when your brain gets triggered some thought or feeling that we’re fixing to lose weight, it associates that with trauma and pain, deprivation, restriction, basically shit you would do to people that you wanted to punch.
Corinne Crabtree:
If you think about what do we do when you want to interrogate people? They withhold food. They isolate them. We do those same things when we do diets. Then we wonder why we’re walking around like the wounded. We isolate ourselves. We don’t go places, because we’re afraid we might eat. We take away food. We Starbucks … says like that … I mean, we punish people to get information out of them.
Corinne Crabtree:
It’s like, “Oh wait, this makes perfect sense. This house should lose some weight. This is why diet supper kicks into gear. Now, what all of you need to know is don’t feel bad about it. But also you have to break the pattern. The pattern is going to get broke a couple of different ways. Number one is I’m going to give you three tips for breaking the pattern at the end of the show today.
Corinne Crabtree:
Four all of you right now, the best way to break the pattern is to know when you’re trying to do it, and to use Last Supper mentality to question what you’re fixing to do. I think that that’s the key part is I want you to … when you think about overeating, eating all the things, going out and buying a bunch of junk to eat because you got to get it out of your system, you need to be honest and real about yourself.
Corinne Crabtree:
Have you ever had a Last Supper that work? Did you ever just eat some shit and get it out of your system be like, “Oh, wait. I never want to milk done ever again. Thank God, I ate that Snicker this one last time because I never wanted one again.” Allowing yourself to really understand what a lie it is that eating all the foods and stuff gets it out of your system. It just it doesn’t.
Corinne Crabtree:
Just at least tell yourself. If I am going to eat these things, I’m going to break the habit of telling myself that story. The next important thing about it is you need to use when you want to do a Last Supper, just when you just want to do one, you’ve got to use it as a trigger to question what you’re fixing to do to lose weight. Now, I’m going to go into just a little bit more detail on this.
Corinne Crabtree:
Some of you, if you’re working with me, you will be triggered to want to do a Last Supper. When people are joining No BS, when they do free challenges and stuff, they almost always want to do one. I even give them a video that explains a lot of information about why not to do it. But the thing about it is, you may just be in the loop of thinking you’re fixing to do something drastic, and you may not be.
Corinne Crabtree:
I can promise anybody that’s working with me, here’s what you need to know, you’re getting ready to join No BS, or you get right to my challenge, you don’t fucking need a Last Supper. I am not taking food away from you ever. You are going to be able to eat the foods you love. We’re just going to learn how to quit emotionally eating them, which is very different. Which means that if you want to enjoy them truly, you want to plan for them, you want to have them on holidays, your birthday, if you want to have date night each week, if you want to do things like that, we can include your favorite foods and you can lose weight.
Corinne Crabtree:
People are not overweight because of their favorite foods. They’re overweight when they are eating food, because they absolutely can’t deal with their own emotions. They don’t know how to entertain themselves. They don’t know how to be bored. They don’t know how to be tired without a snack. You don’t know how to unwind after a long day, unless you’re drinking or eating. That’s all emotional.
Corinne Crabtree:
I teach how to get over that shit. You can have all the food security you need. You won’t be taking food away. Now, for some of you though, you are going to start some bullshit the next day. You haven’t really thought about the version of you that’s going to live the rest of your life. You’re just sitting there doing anything and everything you can to lose weight and you don’t care if you’re going to feel bad. You don’t care if it’s going to force you to not be able to go to parties. You don’t care if it’s something that’s not sustainable.
Corinne Crabtree:
You just keep thinking like if I just lose the weight, then I guess I’m suddenly going to shit a new life and be a whole different human being. You need to use that Last Supper as the trigger to question, what am I getting ready to do? Is this sustainable? Is this how I want to set up my lifestyle? Is this something I could see myself not only losing my weight, but keeping my weight off. That’s the key components for Last Supper is making sure you don’t feel bad, because you have that urge.
Corinne Crabtree:
But you need to let it question, what am I getting ready to do? Am I just imagining I’m going to do bad things? Maybe I’m not. If you’re going to work with me, the simplest overawed is Corinne has promised me that we’re not taking food away. If we’re not taking food away, I can release that fear, and I can just believe her today that I don’t need the Last Supper.
Corinne Crabtree:
I’ve always said this, and I just want to close on this before we get to the questions is one of the first habits of weight loss that we all need to break is this idea that there are good foods and bad foods and that there are … that we need to overeat because we’re fixing to be punished. That is probably the first habit of weight loss that has to be ended is the idea that to lose weight, you must be punished.
Corinne Crabtree:
Breaking the habit of doing the Last Supper for a lot of people is a first pivotal step in taking a step in the right direction on how to lose their weight. Okay. That’s what I got. Let’s move along. I’ll let Sarah take over.
Sarah:
Okay. I think this is a great topic today because it is coming up on the first month. We do have a bunch coming up here. If you are interested in having a free week with Corinne and her team and all the support, learning about the basics of weight loss, head to takecontrolchallenge.com and sign up for the challenge. It’s going to be August 1st through 7th.
Sarah:
There is a private Facebook group for anyone who joins the challenge. It’s a great way to break that Last Supper mentality. You’ll get support around with other women. It will just be a great way. If you are interested in doing that, go to takecontrolchallenge.com to get registered. We’re going to move on into our questions today. Our first question is going to come from Cynthia. Cynthia, would you like to unmute and say my question.
Cynthia:
Hi. My question is about snacking. I am doing the No BS plan. I’ve got my book. How many are you allowed to put in there? I feel I’m putting too many in there. I really do. That’s my question.
Corinne Crabtree:
Hey, Cynthia, you can put as many snacks on there as you want. Actually, Sarah was just sending me a message. I think I’m just going to work it in here. Sarah was talking about … I don’t know if you guys know. But Sarah has lost over 100 pounds. She quit smoking. She also works for me. Yes. Sarah, I have been coaching Sarah for … It feels all her life now because she’s so young.
Corinne Crabtree:
But she made this comment about how when she started working with me, she realized that her brain had what was called big brain reactions and small brain reactions. Whenever she was doing something drastic, she would have … Not only would she do something drastic, but her brain would match in reaction tones. It would have big ass reactions. It would want to have a big ass binge, do weigh too much, all this other stuff.
Corinne Crabtree:
She also realized that when she started doing the doable hunger and the doable plan, that her brain had what was called small changes, small reactions. That means that the smaller she kept the steps, and the more attainable and doable they did, the smaller her brain would bitch and moan and try to correct itself.
Corinne Crabtree:
The reason why I brought this up, Cynthia, is that on your plan, you literally complain in abundance. I encourage all of my new people, especially. Those of you who are new to this work, who have a lot of diet trauma, especially if you’re a Last Supper, you’re triggered for those things, I would encourage you to give yourself plenty of wiggle room on your plans. I’m actually in the free Facebook group a lot right now. I’m reading a lot of the things that people are questioning and wanting to know.
Corinne Crabtree:
If you’re doing our free challenge here’s s some answers. Number one is on your plan, if you want to plan a lot of snacks because it allows your brain, but when it sees a lot of snacks, it tripwires your brain to think I have plenty. That means you’re going to feel comfortable and you’re going to feel safe. When you feel comfortable and safe, you are way more likely to follow the plan, do the things that I teach you, and question things.
Corinne Crabtree:
The other thing that comes up a lot is I like … I don’t know if I can just walk in for planning my entire day. I don’t know if I can just pick a breakfast, lunch, and a dinner. In the beginning, what I encourage people to do is even put options down. A lot of us what we have to do in the very beginning when we’re trying to lose weight is not threaten our brains. Not scare our brains and not freak our brains out, because it’s just looking for trouble.
Corinne Crabtree:
It’s looking for the first width of you’re going on a diet, you’re doing something drastic so that it can overcorrect. It wants to go to big brain thinking. What I would do is I would put the snacks. I would put the options on there. Now the caveat is because a lot of people are like, “Well, how the hell am I going to lose weight if I have all the snacks and I have options?” That’s where rule two comes into play where you have mean snacks you want on that plan.
Corinne Crabtree:
But if at 3:00, you got your snack lay in there and you’re not hungry. Then what you do is you focus on not eating because you’re not hungry. Then you apply all of your focus to, “Oh, I can have this snack anytime I want. I can eat these foods. I’m just unlearning eating them because they’re there.” Really what we’re trying to do is just to teach you how to be way more mindful around the hunger part and the enough part.
Corinne Crabtree:
For a lot of people, the way to build that in is to create food safety, which means have plenty of snacks, have options on your plan, and do that as a first level. Then as you get good at that part, what ends up happening is you start feeling more confident around food and stuff. You’ll notice your planning extras. You’ll go a few weeks and realize like, “I’m not even eating some of this food that I’m putting on here.”
Corinne Crabtree:
It will make sense. Your brain will be more motivated. Like, “Well, let’s just try not planning it today, for not eating it anyway. Let’s just see what happens.” That’s the best way that I have found to do it and that’s how you also create forward momentum. Does that help, Cynthia?
Cynthia:
It does. Thank you so much.
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re welcome. Thank you. All right. Let’s move on to Lynette, if you want to go ahead and ask your question and unmute yourself.
Lynette:
Hi. I’ve just been diagnosed with PCOS and binge eating. I’m gaining 5 to 15 pounds a month because of PCOS. My question is, how do I follow what my doctor recommends I restrict without triggering my binge eating at the same time?
Corinne Crabtree:
Well, the first thing you could do is quit calling it restriction. Let me ask you this. When you think my doctor wants me to restrict these foods, how do you feel?
Lynette:
Terrible.
Corinne Crabtree:
Exactly. If you feel terrible and restricted, are you more likely to binge?
Lynette:
Yes.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. I bring this up, because a lot of people will want to argue like, “Well, Corinne, but my doctor said.” I don’t care what your doctor says. How you repeat the story to yourself is way more important than the words a doctor used. Even if the doctor said, “Hey Lynette, you have PCOS. I need you to restrict these foods. Let’s just hope you don’t start your binge behavior. You do not have to repeat that story.
Corinne Crabtree:
What you can do though is you can start focusing on why you would want to remove those foods. You could be talking about to yourself, like there are certain foods I’m no longer going to choose to eat, which is very different than, I can’t eat these foods. You can be saying there are foods I’m no longer going to choose to eat, because I want to feel blah, blah, blah with my PCOS. What you do is you’re just reverse engineering. You’re going to do the exact same thing your doctor said.
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re going to have certain foods that you no longer eat, and you’re going to have certain foods that you are now going to rely more on and stuff. But you will not be talking about it in a way that doesn’t threaten your binge brain. Your binge brain is going to be looking for every with sign in word that you try to come up with that applies, “This is bad. This is unfair. This is restriction.” This is the stuff that triggers binge eating.
Corinne Crabtree:
It’s really important for you to start developing a different relationship with food. To say things like, “The only thing that triggers binge eating is when I actually start the eating.” Literally, binging, and I know that sounds crazy, but my best friend is a … she’s a binge coach. She has been a binger. She sometimes binges now. I talked to her every single day about this stuff.
Corinne Crabtree:
One of the healthiest things that she’s ever done is she’s talked to herself about separating that there are things that just trigger my binge eating. She really just tries to own. There are times that I binge, and I make the choice because of this, so that it’s very way more non-emotional. It doesn’t feel things are just happening to her all the time that she doesn’t have control.
Corinne Crabtree:
I think for you, it’s really watching your language as you go through this. Building up on one side, here are all the reasons why this is so important to me. Making these changes are going to help me in all of these ways. When I eat these foods, it might be normal to feel I’m being restricted, but I’m not. Here’s how I know. You give yourself evidence and proof and reasons why you’re not.
Corinne Crabtree:
You use words … If you look at something that you’re … I don’t know. What is something your doctor says you can’t have, like a cupcake?
Lynette:
A cupcake, processed foods, a lot of that stuff, and a lot of … Yeah.
Corinne Crabtree:
Let’s say processed foods. Your doctor said, it’s a no on those things. Then what I would tell myself is when you want a processed food, you agree with yourself. I never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever tell myself ever again, that I can’t have something, that I’m choosing it for this … I’m choosing not to for this reason. You give yourself a self-love reason, because the binge voice doesn’t want to do that. The binge voice is like, “You can have that. It sucks. You should just go out and eat all of it then.”
Corinne Crabtree:
You want to be talking to yourself very unlike the binge voice is going to want to talk. Does that help?
Lynette:
Oh, that helps so much.
Corinne Crabtree:
All right.
Lynette:
Thank you.
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re so welcome.
Sarah:
Thank you so much for your question, Lynette. I know lots of people out there are dealing with information given to them by doctors and trying to figure out what to do next. It was a great question and very helpful to our audience. We’re going to move next on to Robin’s question. Don’t forget at the top of the hour, Corinne is going to be sharing three ways that we can stop that Last Supper diet mentality. It’s going to be fantastic. Robin, what is your …
Robin:
Hello? Yes. I tend to trust the weight watch a point system more than I trust making my own decisions about what I’ll eat and how much. But I want to be able to do it the No BS way. I want to be able to do it myself, but I give up so easily. I mean, I have a fucking PhD, but I feel I can’t be in control over what I put in my mouth. I just need a little bit of help, please.
Corinne Crabtree:
Are you inside No BS now, Robin?
Robin:
I just joined. Yes. I’m doing the modules.
Corinne Crabtree:
Good. Okay.
Robin:
Doing the … Yeah. Okay
Corinne Crabtree:
Let me just say this because you’re brand new to this. I want you to think about this. All right.
Robin:
Okay.
Corinne Crabtree:
Here’s a fun question. How many years have you tried to do Weight Watchers?
Robin:
My mom took me when I was 12.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. Give me a … Like, let’s see, 40 years? I can’t tell if [inaudible 00:21:25]. I don’t have my glasses on.
Robin:
Yes. Yes. I’m 61. It was in 1972.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. For 40 years, your brain is accustomed to Weight Watchers knows better than Robin.
Robin:
Yes.
Corinne Crabtree:
That’s just the story, though. That’s all. All right. Let me ask you this. If Weight Watchers knew more than Robin, would you be on this call today?
Robin:
No. I would have kept that 100 pounds off.
Corinne Crabtree:
Exactly.
Robin:
Yeah. Yeah.
Corinne Crabtree:
This is what’s going to happen in the beginning. Your brain is always going to want to go to what it knows. It’s like, “Well, we’ve done Weight Watchers.” It’s just comfortable doing that. With No BS, it’s going to be uncomfortable, because it has no patterns to go by. The brain will literally want to go from a pattern that’s broken before it will want to go to a pattern it knows nothing about.
Corinne Crabtree:
It’s just if you were walking through the woods, and somebody said, “I promise you, if you take this left, I’ve been on it 500,000 times, you will be at the cabin with a cozy fire within five minutes.” You’re like, “Yeah. But I’ve always gone this way where the thorns and the bushes are, and the wild animals where I have to outrun them are, and it takes an hour. But I know that path.” Your brain would want to go that path no matter what somebody promises you.
Corinne Crabtree:
You want to make sure that you just understand that the first thing that’s going to happen is your brain is going to want to think about Weight Watchers, it’s going to want to tell you that stuff. But that doesn’t mean that you need to listen to it. It just means that’s an ignore. I’m in No BS now. That’s an ignore. I’m in No BS now. You don’t have to get pissed that your brain wants to go there. You don’t have to think that you’re broken.
Corinne Crabtree:
You don’t have to think, “Oh, my God, it’s taking so long. Why am I not just thinking about No BS?” It’s natural for your brain to want to go there. Your job now as a No BS woman is to do what we teach you in module two, which is you have to start redirecting your brain. That’s why like Weight Watchers has failed. It never teaches us how to redirect our brain when … Let’s say you’ve got points, all day. You finish them at dinner.
Corinne Crabtree:
But your brain wants to go to what a hard day you had, and how you deserve a late night snack. Weight Watchers didn’t teach you how to redirect your brain. All Weight Watchers told you was that, “When these points are gone, you’re shit out of luck.” Why? You just need to sit there and be miserable, because tomorrow you’ll get more points. That ends up being the problem is there’s no brain redirection being taught.
Corinne Crabtree:
Step one is don’t freak out because your brain wants to go to Weight Watchers. It’s only because you’ve done it for so long. That’s okay. Step two, is I just want you to promise me and you that at least for the first 90 days in No BS that you will not try to count points. You will not try to go … You’ve got to break the habit of Weight Watchers for 90 days. If at the end of 90 days, if you do the shit I tell you and nothing’s changed … But you got to do the shit I tell you.
Corinne Crabtree:
Don’t give me 90 days of just listening to modules and not doing any plans or anything. Literally do the shit I tell you to do. Then in 90 days, it’s not working, I’m sure Oprah will open the door and welcome you with arms wide open. The thing I know about Weight Watchers, they ain’t going anywhere. You always have that in your back pocket if you need it.
Corinne Crabtree:
But what I’ve noticed is that you need to actually do the stuff I asked you to do for the first 90 days. It has nothing to do with restriction. It’s going to have nothing to do with being overly hungry, anything like that. I just need you to go through No BS. I need you to make that plan each day. I need you to over the next 90 days, learn about your hunger, learn about your enoughness, learn about making a plan, overcome your fear of foods, we’ve got to go through those processes.
Corinne Crabtree:
That just requires you to do the things that I asked you to do those first 90 days while you’re inside of No BS.
Robin:
Okay. I need to develop new grooves in my brain is what you’re saying.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. That’s it. That’s literally it for everyone.
Robin:
All right. I got it now.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. Just don’t freak out when your brain offers up old garbage. That’s its job. Its job is to offer old garbage to see are you going to take the bait, or are you going to think something new? The more that you decide to think something new, the more that groove is going to start getting worn, and then eventually it becomes the well worn path for you.
Robin:
I got it. Thank you. I’ll see you in October. Thank you.
Corinne Crabtree:
Oh, yeah. You’re coming to camp?
Robin:
Yes, ma’am.
Corinne Crabtree:
We’re going to have a good one.
Robin:
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re welcome, Robin.
Robin:
Bye-bye.
Sarah:
Thank you so much for your question, Robin. We have one last question here. We have Kim on the stage. Kim, would you like to unmute and ask us your question, please.
Kim:
Good morning. My question is about intermittent fasting with my No BS. But before I do that, Kathy, could you give Robin the podcast number for the marble analogy for creating new habits. I think she’d really get something out of that.
Kathy:
Well, I will look up the podcast number for you, Robin. But I can tell you the marble analogy comes from a book that many No BS women have read called Atomic Habits by James Clear. Basically what the analogy is, is if you put a marble at the top of a sand hill, and it creates a path down the hill, it will continue to go along that same path until it’s a well-smoothed out, almost a waterslide.
Kathy:
That’s what your brain does with habits. It creates habits that become really easy to travel. When you’re trying to create a new habit, what happens is you picture that marble going down the other side, but you’re having to push it just a little bit. You’re having to guide it just a little bit, because it’s creating a new path. It’s not as well-worn and it’s not as easy.
Kathy:
That’s the concept of the marble going down the sand hill. I will say this, too, you know you’re working that marble really hard and a new habit when it doesn’t feel comfortable. When it feels it’s more … when it feels it’s just a little bit off or hard, that’s your key indicator that you’re building something new. It’s so important to grasp onto that as a good thing, rather than as, I must not be doing something right because it’s hard.
Kathy:
Thanks, Kim. I hope that is helpful, too, Robin. I’ll let you get on with your question.
Kim:
Thanks, Kathy. I know I got a huge amount out of that analogy before. I have been trying intermittent fasting. I want to work it with my No BS program. I’ve gotten a lot emotionally out of No BS. Now I’m ready to level up my 1%. I find the intermittent fasting is really good for me. I find then it gives me a schedule to follow. I’m not eating for the sake of eating, because I’m not hungry. I just want to know how do I stop the Last Supper during my eating window and not just follow my as in the good, better, best foods, just my good foods but level up to my better and my best foods?
Corinne Crabtree:
Let me ask you a question. What do you want your fasting window to be?
Kim:
I like the 16/8 or the 18/6. It works good for my timeline, just 10:00 till 2:00, or 10:00 night till 4:00 in the afternoon. I’m not hungry. It’s fine.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. Then this is the big thing that I’m noticing. If it’s so fine and you’re not hungry and it works for you, there’s got to … if you’re somehow like, “All right. I got to eat all I can.” There’s got to be some thoughts in there. At some point, when you’re starting the eating light, I won’t get to eat again until tomorrow at certain amount of time. Does that sound like that’s happening?
Kim:
No. It’s more of the quality of the food I’m eating.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay.
Kim:
I give myself permission to eat junky foods.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. What do you tell yourself? Because that’s the thought that’s going to have to change. What are you saying to yourself about the food? I’m fasting, so therefore I get to eat, or what’s the justification or excuse you’re using?
Kim:
I think it was a little bit of permissiveness there on … Well, because I’m fasting for all those hours, I have more wiggle room.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. I have more wiggle room. Which is such a bullshit lie, because you told me that you are not fasting so that you can have wiggle room to eat more? Tell me the reasons why you want to fast.
Kim:
I just find it fits my schedule really well.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. When your brain wants to go to wiggle room, you need to tell yourself that’s bullshit. We have no wiggle room. You know what we have? A plan. You know what we have? Fasting that’s working for us and given us more energy and working well with our schedule and stuff. You’ve got to come back at that thought with truth and reality.
Kim:
Yeah. I have my supper plan. That’s great. I have a decent end of fast meal that I have like usually some cheese kielbasa sort of thing. Then I will gravitate towards, well, five, six cookies or …
Corinne Crabtree:
Right. Tell me … When you want to get the cookies and you want to get the chips, is that when you’re saying, I have wiggle room?
Kim:
Yeah. It’s I have wiggle room. It’s habitual. That’s a lot of habit, for years of habit.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. What I would do also then, number one, is I would just make sure that you’re discussing the whole idea with yourself that there’s no wiggle room. That’s a made up concept in my brain. It’s a made up concept in everyone’s brain that there is … If you’ve been … This is basically I’ve been good all day, and now I get to. It is the same concept when we are talking about wiggle room.
Corinne Crabtree:
This is what I always have to ask myself when you journal, and you could journal in this, Kim, is what am I trying to wiggle out of? If fasting is so amazing, what is the thoughts that I’m trying to like … What do I need to get away from? Because whatever that thinking around your fasting is, is what setting you up to want to live a little in the evening. Just find those out.
Corinne Crabtree:
This is not to say fasting is good or bad for anyone. Guys, I will tell you right now, I have my definite thoughts on fasting. For some people, it works. For a lot of people, it doesn’t work. For a lot of people, it sets up a lot of eating disorder stuff, or some people it does not work with … For me, as a woman, fasting these days since I’ve gotten into the perimenopause does not work as well for me.
Corinne Crabtree:
It sets me up for feeling like ass half the day. You just want to pay attention to your reasons why and figure out what are some of the subtle things you could be thinking about the fasting that’s setting you up for the evening to want to feel you need a break from it. Because that’s what wiggle room thinking is I need a break. The other thing that I would do is question this habitual thing.
Corinne Crabtree:
Let me ask you this. When you think eating cookies and chips at night is a habitual thing for me, how does that feel?
Kim:
Oh, feels like a horrible habit that I want to break.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. It doesn’t feel good to think of it as habitual eating is what I’m asking.
Kim:
No.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay.
Kim:
But it is an honest thing. It’s something I’ve done for years. It’s time to break it.
Corinne Crabtree:
No. It’s not. [crosstalk 00:33:40] Wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me just say, you just argued for your pain. You’re like, “Well, it feels like ass and it feels hopeless. But let me give you more evidence to my hopeless ass right now.” It’s not helpful. Even to say it’s true, it’s been going on for years, all your brain is doing is digging in the saying it’s habitual. It’s going to be really hard to break. Let me give you all the reasons why you should feel miserable ass tonight when you try it again.
Corinne Crabtree:
We don’t want to do that. What we want to do is we don’t want to be describing something in a way that tees you up in the evening to not be able to have a rational conversation with yourself, because you’re already got something going on that’s triggering you to think you need wiggle room in the evening. Plus, on the other side, you’ve got a story about these chips and cookies, that’s like … and it’s going to be really hard because you’ve been doing this for so long.
Corinne Crabtree:
We’ve not even set ourselves up to go into the evening feeling good at all, feeling competent, feeling focused, determined, willing, anything you want to feel. We’re just setting ourselves up to go into the evenings feeling stress and terror, essentially. Rather than calling it habitual eating, I would just say there times in the evening when I want cookies and chips, and I’m working on not doing that anymore.
Kim:
Okay. Yeah. That sounds right.
Corinne Crabtree:
Well, it’s also.
Kim:
… true to me.
Corinne Crabtree:
That is the thing is that a lot of us want to argue, booze was true. It’s like we could prove just about any fucking thing we want true. We only want to prove stuff true though that’s going to help us move forward. You all quit trying to prove to yourself how fucking broken you are, how hard it’s going to be. Let me give you more reasons why my life sucks. Why am I eating stuff sucks. Let me just keep on, on and on and on. We’ve got to quit doing that.
Corinne Crabtree:
I don’t care if it’s true. There’s always another truth. Byron Katie does something called the Turnaround where it’s basically you say, you ask yourself, whatever thought you’re having, is it true? Then you have to like say, “But is it really true?” That usually tripwires your brain to come up with just a shift in perspective to understand there’s a different way to tell the story. How can I tell the story in a way that’s going to get me a little bit more ease and a little bit more focus and direction so I can make the necessary changes I need to lose my weight? All right?
Kim:
Okay. Yeah. I followed that with thought work on some other emotional stuff since I started No BS. Yeah. I can apply that to this, that same, is it true? Okay. Now, is that really true?
Corinne Crabtree:
Right.
Kim:
In whatever sentence I say. Thank you.
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re so welcome.
Kathy:
Hey, Kim, when you listen back to this, I want you to listen with the sand hill analogy in mind, because you’ve got a waterslide, a highway going down your sand hill about your story around the fasting and the snacks and the eating. Make sure you apply what you asked me to tell Robin to your own story. Okay.
Kim:
My gosh. Yes. Yeah. It’s time for the other side of the hill. Thank you.
Sarah:
Thank you so much for your question, Kim. We’re going to move on here to three tips on avoiding the Last Supper. Corinne, what have you got for us? How can we avoid the Last Supper when the diet starts?
Corinne Crabtree:
All right. The very first thing is something that we were talking about …
Sarah:
[inaudible 00:37:24]
Corinne Crabtree:
Sorry. Just run in at my mouth. The first thing is when we were talking earlier about Sarah’s big brain, little brain, the whole idea of the reactions. If you really want to avoid Last Supper mentality, the very first thing we have to do is we have to make sure that we are taking some small steps. I think that this is very important that you remind your brain that you’re starting to eat foods that you love, and you’re going to have to learn how to do so if you want to be able to keep your weight off.
Corinne Crabtree:
You need to remind yourself that you’re not taking anything away. Tomorrow, we’re not suddenly revamping. What we’re doing is we’re making small tweaks. Now, this applies for people who are going to either do my free course, or who are going to be working with me inside of No BS. I can’t promise you all this stuff with all these other bad shit crazy dots out there. But I can promise you on this side.
Corinne Crabtree:
If you want to make sure that you’re not going to jump into Last Supper mentality, think about that whole concept of, “If my changes are smaller, and they feel more doable, I’m likely to have more confidence, I’m likely to have more food security, I’m likely to feel more safe,” if those things are happening, I bet I can unlearn all the emotional components. If I’m keeping myself calm the fuck down most of the time around food.
Corinne Crabtree:
I think the second big tip that I have for the Last Supper stuff is make sure that you write out your food plan for a few days. On that, I want you to include things you normally wouldn’t put on your “I’m starting a diet tomorrow plan.” What needs to happen is that … If you use my free course, or you’re in No BS, you know that we make you have a doable 24-hour plan every single day.
Corinne Crabtree:
What I would encourage you to do is do a plan for the next two to three days. Show your brain on paper, the things that you’re going to be able to eat. That we’re only going to be eating those things when we’re hungry. We’re going to be learning how to stop when we’ve had enough. Most of the time, on the enough side what triggers Last Supper mentality is, number one, you’ve either taken all the foods away, or you’ve over ate foods that you’ve notoriously taken away so many times you believe the food has control over you.
Corinne Crabtree:
What you don’t understand is you’ve never practiced eating those foods from a place of food security and not worrying that they’re being taken away. You’ve never ate them from a place of non-deprivation. It’s a whole different ballgame when you’re un-learning, eating them, too much. You want to make sure that if it was me, I would write a plan out for the next two to three days so that my brain can actually have the visual rigor that the food isn’t going away.
Corinne Crabtree:
These will be the things and I will be learning how to eat them in a way that changes my relationship with food from here on out. Because you don’t want to leave your brain left up to its old thinking. Then the last one is really, really important, and that is you’ve got to listen for the thoughts that convince you that the food is going away, and then reassure yourself. It’s when I was talking to the very first person who was asking me about … I don’t remember who I was coaching. But somebody was talking about snacking and different things. Oh, the Weight Watchers person.
Corinne Crabtree:
You have to make sure that you understand your brain is going to want to have its old thoughts come up, and it’s going to send them up, and that’s okay. I don’t want anybody freaking out if their brains wanting to do the Last Supper. I don’t want anyone freaking out if their brain is thinking like, “Oh my God. We can’t eat these things,” or “Oh, my God. How are you ever going to lose weight if you’re planning this?” That’s okay.
Corinne Crabtree:
Reassure yourself that nothing’s been taken away. But what we are learning is how to eat these things like a normal person would, like someone who grew up with an amazing relationship with food, that they can include these things, and they can stop whenever they’ve just had enough. You want to do that because the key to being able to have that new life, the key to being able to have the relationship you want with food and yourself, is you have to unlearn your old thinking, and you have to create new thinking.
Corinne Crabtree:
While we unlearn old thinking, we have to be creating new thinking and practicing it. I know there’s a ton in No BS women in here, I just want to reiterate to all of you, the biggest step you’re going to make when it comes to really changing how you think, changing how you feel, and reestablishing a new relationship with food is always going to be your capacity to be able to let your old thoughts come up, and them not matter while you work on the new thoughts you want to have.
Corinne Crabtree:
The people that I see fail the most often are the ones that have their old thoughts come up, and they stall out feeling like shit, frustrated, arguing with the old thoughts, and not wanting them to be there. That’s the hardest part is when you allow yourself all of that judgment of how you think and all of that crappy arguing with every little thought that you have, you wear yourself out emotionally.
Corinne Crabtree:
When you remove that piece like, “You know? I know my brain is going to offer up all his old thinking, that’s the only thing I’ve ever allowed it to think. It would make sense that it keeps coming back, keeps coming back, keeps coming back until I change the relationship. Until I come up with so many new ways to think that my brain starts gravitating looking for new ways to think.”
Corinne Crabtree:
I always tell people one of the phases of changing how you think is when you hit the sweet spot of where you have an old thought and your brain is automatically triggered to think, “Yeah. That’s just how I’m thinking.” Then you move on, or you figure out a new way to think, that’s when you’ve arrived. Most people think that arriving or success is “I don’t have these thoughts anymore.” That’s a no.
Corinne Crabtree:
I’m a fucking master certified coach. I’ve been doing this for years and years and years. I’ve had my weight off for 15 and 90% of my thoughts are old shitty pop-up. I’m just like, “That’s a funny way to think. How about this, moving on?” That’s my entire day every day. It doesn’t wear me out. Because I’m not thinking I shouldn’t think this way anymore. I can’t think like this or I’m going to fail.
Corinne Crabtree:
Those thoughts about your thinking are the ones that will hose you every single time. I just wanted to make sure that all my No BS women heard that because I can’t talk to you enough about the importance of not arguing with your brain. Okay. Sarah, back to you.
Sarah:
Well, what I hear you saying Corinne is when the diet is starting tomorrow, I don’t need just a doable food plan. I need a doable mental plan to get my mind straight before I get started on changing some things. If I take the time to prepare my mind as well as plan what food I’m going to eat, I’m going to be more successful. Is that kind of …
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m saying. If you are a No BS woman, then that’s why I gave you the planner. I wrote that planner so that you’re not just sitting there every single day writing down what you’re going to eat. We have to write down what are we going to tell ourselves when the obstacles arise? What’s likely to get in our way today? How are we going to think about that?
Corinne Crabtree:
I have questions in there about things like the hardest questions sometimes for the No BS women is when I asked you, you got to write three things today that you like about yourself. They’re like, “What?” No one is ever expected me to pick three things every day that I like about myself. That’s what’s wrong in the world. No wonder we’re eating our fucking faces off all the time, because we’re not thinking about those things.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. We have to get … I always say this, you lose your mental weight, your physical weight starts falling off. But mental weight is what keeps physical weight just glued like fucking mortar to your hips and stuff. It’s like you really want to work on making sure your mindset changes, too.
Sarah:
Got it. Well, thank you. Sounds like if you guys are ready to get started and you want to take some action to prepare your mind for losing weight, go take the free course that Corinne offers. It’s at nobsfreecourse.com. It’s three days long. You get three great videos and you even get a great workbook that you can download, print out, and it has got a copy of that doable 24-hour plan and some questions you can ask yourself as well.
Sarah:
If you really want to up the ante on your weight loss journey, we are also having a free challenge, August 1st through 7th. It’s called the Take Control of Food Challenge. You can go to takecontrolchallenge.com to sign up. It’s got its own workbook. Corinne is going to be going live for seven days, teaching us all the things about the doable hunger, the 24-hour plan, what happens when we sabotage ourselves often in weight loss. It’s a really, really great way to get your mind aligned to what you want to do.
Sarah:
With that, that is the end of our podcast today. We’ll see you back here next week. We record live on Clubhouse every Tuesday at 9:00 a.m. central. We would love to have you here. Clubhouse is now open to everyone. Join the app and make sure to find Corinne Crabtree and the losing 100 pounds with Corinne Club so you can be here and ask your questions.
Sarah:
Have a great day you all. We’ll see you soon.
Corinne Crabtree:
Bye, everybody. Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to nobsfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcast. Help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.
