Corinne (00:01):
Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you’re ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.
Sarah (00:37):
This is the losing 100 pounds with Corinne Podcasts live Q&As. We’re recording our podcast this morning and we have Corinne and Kathy here to answer some weight loss questions from our listeners. So we’ll just dive right into it and go with Sarah. Good morning, do you want to unmute and tell us your question?
Sarah (00:56):
Good morning. My question has to do with deciphering hunger cues. I’ve recently started a new medication and it kind of makes me a little bit shaky while I’m still getting used to it. But I also have hypoglycemia, which also makes me shaky in the same ways. So I’m having a little trouble deciphering if it’s medication or if it’s hunger and how to kind of approach that.
Corinne (01:15):
Okay, Sarah. So one thing that you can do, and maybe you can answer a couple of questions for me is I’ll know that I teach you to only eat when you’re hungry, but do you keep track of the times when you’ve last ate so that you just know how long it’s been?
Sarah (01:30):
I do roughly because I work a desk job, so my schedule is set every day.
Corinne (01:33):
Okay. So let me ask you this. So before medication, were you having trouble deciphering your hunger cues?
Sarah (01:42):
No, because if I waited too long, the shakiness definitely let me know, but I always, of course try to not let it get to that point.
Corinne (01:49):
Yeah. So this is what I would do is I would go back and I would look at before I started taking the medication, especially because you have like the benefit of really good data, which is, I already was eating to the schedule. So shakiness is now not going to be the signal. So go back and try to figure out like… There’s a couple things you can do. See if you could identify if there were any other signals that you have ever had other than like shakiness. I know you haven’t been trying to get there, but shakiness now in between, say, breakfast and lunch, probably if it wasn’t coming up before the medication, now you can just make an assumption this is the medication and that will normalize. If you weren’t normally getting hungry between like 12:00 and 5:00 and shakiness is coming up, then you can probably safely assume this is not hypoglycemia, this is me adapting to my medication. Just because they feel the same doesn’t make them the same.
Corinne (02:44):
So you can go back and you can look at past data of like before the medication, was I actually getting hungry in between those times? And if it’s not, then I just know that it’s probably not happening now either. Even though your brain wants to associate like this shaking is just like the other shaking, so they must be intertwined. So it must be confusing. It really doesn’t have to be if you kind of dial it in like that. Does that make sense?
Sarah (03:09):
That does. Thank you.
Corinne (03:10):
Okay, great. Well, that was a soft ball. You didn’t even have shitty thoughts, Sarah.
Sarah (03:17):
No, I consider myself a deep dive bootstrapper. I joined you in August and I don’t think I’ve got a lot of shitty thoughts going on, but I definitely have a couple of questions that come up every now and then.
Corinne (03:27):
Okay. Awesome. Well, congratulations. I’m glad you’re here with us too.
Sarah (03:31):
Thank you.
Sarah (03:32):
Yeah, thank you for coming on now. And if you’re new to Corinne or the podcast, go to a nobsfreecourse.com and that’s where you can get information about how Corinne teaches weight loss. It’s a totally free course. And it’s what Sarah has done to start losing weight. So congratulations Sarah on your success so far with the free course and the podcast. It’s great to have you here. All right. We’ll move on to our next question from Suzy. Good morning, Suzy, what question do you have for Corinne and Kathy about weight loss?
Suzy (04:04):
Hey, good morning. So the question I have is how to handle overwhelm and urges. What I have been finding is so in COVID when I joined a No BS in May of 2020 last year, I was one of the amazing people that was helped by this program. And I was able to lose 30 pounds during COVID, even when everybody else was gaining weight. But when I finished my certification in April and I started trying to build my business, there’s just like different transitional things happening as well as me becoming aware of childhood trauma and starting to really work on it.
Suzy (04:43):
I’ve now gained back another 20 of those pounds. And what I am noticing is it’s almost this very unconscious trigger where just my brain is incredibly used to like before I even notice it will start eating. And so I’m starting to notice like a lot of the different triggers and what are the things and yet it still continues to occur because I haven’t been able really necessarily to control or manage my thoughts every single moment. A lot of the things that help have to do with like making sure I’m doing discovery worksheets, making sure I’m planning, et cetera, but then I’ll still kind of like slip up because something gets busy and I forget to do that and then I overeat. So that’s kind of where I’m at. And I would just love any kind of next steps.
Corinne (05:35):
Let me ask you this, when you slip up, because you just said the problem. “When I slip up, I overeat.” That’s not why you overeat.
Suzy (05:45):
Well, what I mean by slip up it’s like when I forget to pay attention to what’s really going on. Like when I’m being present and I’m managing things, but it’s like when I default because, oh, this is going on, that is going on, that is going on, I kind of default to the old thing. I just don’t just slip up-
Corinne (06:03):
And what do you tell yourself in that, right? It’s a conscious decision to eat instead of figure out what emotionally you need. And that’s just important for all of us to hear because it’s like… And you know, Suzy, I love you. We’ve coached several times. So I might be just-
Suzy (06:18):
You can be a hard ass with me.
Corinne (06:19):
I was going to say for pain coming Suzy.
Suzy (06:23):
Do it.
Corinne (06:24):
Fine. What I was going to say is I think what a lot of us need to do is just be really honest first about what actually is happening. So for you it’s kind of taking a look at things and noticing when you’re describing the situation as it’s just so unconscious. Like I know that feels true, but it’s not. Until your brain decides to quit thinking of it as something that’s just happening to me or it’s just so unconscious, your brain is never going to turn on the like, I need to actually microscope this in the moment, I need to look for conscious triggers, I need to pay more attention. When we keep thinking about it as an unconscious thing, we will keep rolling in that direction. So you have to give your brain, first of all, that mental direction of where to go.
Corinne (07:12):
But I actually wanted to ask you something. So when it comes to… And I kind of want to teach a concept and I know you’ve probably heard me teach it before, but I want to ask you this, when you’re eating, so you know you’re now eating and it’s not on your plan, do you finish the food and be like, “Oh shit, I wasn’t supposed to be eating like that. I had no idea,” or are you eating the food and being like, “Oh shit, here I am eating what’s not on my plan.” And do you stop it or finish it? So which of those three is happening?
Suzy (07:47):
Once I notice, I stop.
Corinne (07:49):
Okay, that’s amazing. So you’re conscious. So we’ve already debugged this ideas, it’s just happening to me.
Suzy (07:56):
And I’ve done a bunch of discovery worksheet. So I can actually tell you some of the thoughts and some of the feelings that come up. So in some instances, say, I’m having a conversation with my husband and I get annoyed or angry about something and then I’m like, all right. And then I’m like sticking food in my mouth while I do that. Other instances are-
Corinne (08:17):
Well, tell me actually how that happens. I want to get real detailed about this. So where are you and your husband when you’re like, “All right,” and you’re annoyed.
Suzy (08:28):
The last time I was at the table and we ate dinner and there’s… Oh, I remember what it was. I needed a prep for… So I tend not to eat in the morning because I’m not hungry. So I went and ate. It was like 12:00 and I had a coaching call at 1:00. So I was eating and then he started asking me about things that didn’t have to be answered right in that moment. But my brain was like, you’re disrupting me and I don’t need to be thinking about that. And then I got really annoyed and there happened to be a giant bag of Costco sized late July Tortilla chips there. And once I kind of… And it was interesting because my thought process was like in an empowered way, if I had… It’s almost like I got angry because he was imposing on me and was insisting on me answering a question that wasn’t relevant for that moment and couldn’t wait when I had other things to do. But I figured that out after.
Corinne (09:28):
Yeah, I was going to say that’s good for you to figure it out because all of that thinking had you feeling annoyed.
Suzy (09:34):
Yeah. And downright anger.
Corinne (09:37):
And I’m thinking I don’t have to answer him right now and that’s okay. Like I don’t have to get pissed to not answer him. I could always just say like, “I’m not answering you right now.”
Suzy (09:44):
Right. And as I think about what happened and that whole process was he kept asking me and I didn’t like nip it in the bud and just be like, “Hey babe, can that wait until later because I need to focus on this other thing.” Instead, I just got increasingly annoyed.
Corinne (10:02):
And ate chips.
Suzy (10:04):
Right. And I did less shout at him, but then it was interesting that when I lashed out at him, that’s when I ate the chips. It’s like I didn’t really want to eat that. You know what I mean? It wasn’t when I was not saying anything, it was once I lashed out at him that I was almost like angry eating.
Corinne (10:20):
Well, let me ask you this. When you lashed out at him and let’s say you yelled at him you said like, “We’re not doing this right now.” What are your thoughts about you saying that to him in the way that you did it?
Suzy (10:33):
Like in that moment what was I thinking?
Corinne (10:35):
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Suzy (10:39):
I think I was just like, stop fucking bothering me about something that can wait when I have all this other-
Corinne (10:43):
Now remember, that was going on before. So now you’ve already yelled at him and lashed out. Our brain when… So I want all of you to think about this, when you take an action… So I think you understand like the models and things like that we all teach. Once you’ve taken an action, you also now have a circumstance or a fact in the world. Your action has now become a fact for you and has not become a fact for someone else. And so your brain will always have thoughts about your actions. And this is what I would dig into Suzy is figure out what do you think of yourself when you lash out in anger because-
Suzy (11:24):
I’m a bit and I shouldn’t have done that.
Corinne (11:25):
So that is your self sabotage. That’s what’s underneath all of it. So when you lash out, it wasn’t that he was annoying you and that’s why you ate chips. It was because in the moment that I lashed out, my inner self is going, “You’re such a bitch. Are you serious?” And then like, “We should just eat some chips because I don’t want to feel shame.” Most of us can feel anger, most of us can feel overwhelmed. It’s what we make it mean and how we’re showing up usually on the action line as to what we’re really eating over.
Suzy (12:01):
Yeah. That’s pretty much spot on because as soon as you said it it’s shame and I can feel that feeling come up as I think on it.
Corinne (12:09):
Yeah. And who wants to go to a coaching call feeling shame? Nobody, we want to do, we want to go feeling energized with July Tortilla chips. So it’s the distraction. The food now becomes a distraction to what’s really going on, which is, you probably felt some shame, guilt or remorse for lashing out because that’s not who you want to be. And so here’s the thing, for you it’s working on sometimes I probably am going to get annoyed, I can work on like figuring out how not to be so annoyed and so triggered and stuff. I also can work on there’s a version of me that’s not perfect, there is a version of me that sometimes gets triggered and says things that she doesn’t mean and does things that she wishes that she hasn’t and that’s okay too.
Corinne (12:54):
And I want to work on understanding like I am working on not being that person, but when I mess up, I can be compassionate for myself in that moment. I can settle myself in that moment. So now what I want you to do is like paying attention for you it’s not so much let’s stop getting annoyed, let’s start with stopping the judgment about how you react until you get better authority and agency over how you react to things.
Suzy (13:24):
Yeah. That’s brilliant because I know that most of my life even before coaching, I knew that I suppress anger because I don’t want people… Because it’s sort of like I suppress it, I eat it. And then I eat once I get angry because I think I shouldn’t be that way. So that’s brilliant because like working on the judgment of the circumstance once I’ve actually lashed out, like can I just be compassionate with myself and be like, “Oh yeah honey, you were upset.” And then that would actually stop me from eating out of shame and self judgment, that would be great.
Corinne (14:02):
And I think a lot of us need to put like for all of you listening, I’ve done this work. Like you have a thought I shouldn’t get angry, work on why you shouldn’t. Why do you think you shouldn’t. For me when I did this, because for a long time I just thought I shouldn’t get as angry as I do. And my coach was like, “That’s so ridiculous. It’s just one of the feelings that all humans are going to experience. You think and you should never get angry is actually the problem.” There are times we need to be angry. Like if you saw somebody take a bat to your husband’s knee, you kind of want to be angry so that you could take some action. But when he just wants to ask you a question in between a coaching call, it’s like, all right, these are the times when I might be overusing anger.
Corinne (14:47):
But that doesn’t mean I’m bad because I’m doing, it just means I need to be using anger appropriately, which is very different than I shouldn’t get angry. So like challenging that belief. And then one of the things that came up for me when I did this is like, what do I make… Like Corinne tell yourself all about anger. I had a thought that when I’m angry, I’m out of control. When I’m angry, I’m a bitch. As if that was just true, that I hurt people, that I do things like that. And I had to really untangle it and say, “No, those things aren’t true. When I’m angry, I have a tendency to react certain ways. I also can become a grown-ass woman and figure out like when I’m angry, I can learn how to train myself what I’m going to do next when I’m angry.”
Corinne (15:38):
And that is the magic sauce for all of us is to figure out our natural tendency feelings that we overuse that come up for a lot of us, we’re so busy trying to stop them that what we don’t realize is we never have to stop those feelings. We need to get really good at pausing when those feelings are here and saying like, “Yep, that’s the state I’m in right now. I don’t make decisions from this. I don’t go have a kumbaya with my husband when I’m just pissed and annoyed. I don’t do those things. I stay pissed and annoyed with it long enough to figure out what’s going on. And if I sit with myself besides reacting to my feelings, then I can consciously decide when these things happen this is what I do next, that gives me enough space to make better decisions for myself.” So that helps us just realize no feelings are wrong and no feelings are a problem. Is that helpful?
Suzy (16:31):
Yeah, absolutely. It ties into some other things that I’ve been working with. If it’s helpful, I’ll just share a quick metaphor because I know you’re raised Catholic and I went to Catholic school for 12 years, the whole Mexican Catholic thing, but it’s one of those things that I feel like Catholicism and sometimes society like we’re taught that Catholicism says that you’re committing a sin by having a bad thought and it’s like learning more about how our brains work and just like the randomness of it all, it’s amazing to then switch to a more Protestant version of that, which is thoughts are just thoughts, it’s only a sin if you act on them. So that’s been something I’ve been playing with that it’s like-
Corinne (17:14):
Yeah. And this is how I like to think about like, I mean, I grew up Catholic too, is we get to make it mean what we want to make it mean as long as we’re evolving to the best version of us. I think at the end of the day, I think Jesus just wanted us to be the best version of us. And if that like I think, I don’t know how we’re going to get off on this religious pan. In fact, Kathy is actually very Catholic and she should probably be the one spearheading this part of the discussion but-
Kathy (17:40):
Well, I do have something to say.
Corinne (17:42):
You’ll get it, but I just want to say this, what I think about is like when it comes to impure thoughts, it really is about the idea of I think what God wanted us to do is to have the pull the ying and the yang. We wouldn’t have impure thoughts if he didn’t want us challenged, if he didn’t want us tempted, if he didn’t want us to use the brain that he gave us to make good decisions for ourselves. He didn’t set the world up perfect for a reason. It wasn’t so that we would all go through it perfectly so that we would go through our trials and our tribulations and figure our shit out to get to like treating each other and ourselves at the highest level that we can. So that’s just kind of my opinion. Kathy, take over.
Kathy (18:23):
No, 100%. I think you said that very well actually. Not to go too deep here, but I was actually at church a few weeks ago and this sermon was preached. So that’s exactly what it is. It’s our opportunity to be the humans that we are intended to be and to create our own experience of life if you want to just put it in those terms. Suzy, here’s one thing I would like to offer you. First, I love that Corinne brought up the fact that she worked with her coach on this because I’m also working with my coach on this kind of issue specific to overwhelm. So what you always want to do with overwhelm instead of just saying, “Oh, I’m overwhelmed. What do I need to do to get out of overwhelm?” One of the things you really need to do to figure out your overwhelm is to figure out what overwhelm is covering up for you.
Kathy (19:22):
So if you’re overwhelmed, why are you overwhelmed? It’s not the amount of work you have. It’s not what your husband is saying to you when you’re trying to get ready for a coaching call. There’s a thought under there like I have so much to do, I’m afraid I won’t get this right, I don’t know what decision to make. That’s the thought that you really, really need to find and then go to work on because it’s not bringing up overwhelm. Probably, it might be bringing up perfectionism or fear or self doubt or something else to work on. Overwhelm is like, I think of it like a big umbrella. It’s covering up all the little bitty feelings that you really don’t want to feel like the shame that Corinne was talking about. So that’s my metaphor for you on overwhelm is think about it as your umbrella that’s really shielding you from-
Suzy (20:16):
A shit storm.
Kathy (20:17):
Yeah. Those feelings that are super uncomfortable to really dig into and feel.
Corinne (20:24):
And I have some good news for you, Suzy. We just made this wisest decision yesterday. I am teaching a class on overwhelm versus confusion and like what all about overwhelm on this Sunday’s call inside No BS. So at 1:00 PM Central time, come to that call and if you can’t come to the call live, well, you know you can listen to the replay on your podcast player and stuff. But this Sunday we’re actually teaching that concept. We were fleshing it all out yesterday behind the scenes because we have a lot of people who suffer with overwhelm this time of year with going back to school and everything that’s going on with COVID and the holidays are coming up and stuff like that. So we’re going to teach a small little like masterclass just on the differences between overwhelming confusion for all of you to come get you suited up in your armor and not needing an overwhelm umbrella anymore for your shit storm of emotion.
Kathy (21:17):
We’re going to give you a poncho Suzy. You’re going out with a poncho.
Corinne (21:20):
Yes, you’re going to get a poncho.
Suzy (21:20):
Thank you. Well, I keep thinking Rihanna, Under My Umbrella.
Corinne (21:26):
Yes, exactly.
Suzy (21:27):
Well, thank you guys.
Corinne (21:28):
Well, thank you ladies. Good talking to you.
Suzy (21:29):
Thank you.
Sarah (21:30):
Suzy, thank you so much for your question. And Kathy always come in with the visual for me because we always talk about thoughts and things and Kathy always makes it visual and brings something I can really remember like this umbrella. I can remember emotions maybe they’re an umbrella saving me from some old shitty thoughts, a shit storm around myself, love it. All right. We’re going to go ahead and move on to our next question. Courtney, do you want to unmute and ask us your question?
Courtney (21:59):
Good morning, ladies. My questions/predicament is I am playing rebel. I can’t seem to get out of my own way and I don’t know how to stop blocking myself.
Corinne (22:15):
Okay. So get specific about something that you’re doing so that we’re on the same page. So let’s walk through very specific examples.
Courtney (22:23):
I strewed today.
Corinne (22:26):
Tell me the last time you did it.
Courtney (22:28):
Last night.
Corinne (22:28):
Okay. So last night, what happened? Like just tell me about last night because it’s just easier for you. A lot of times we do this, we talk in these big esoteric terms and I think that’s the word I’m looking for, but we talk about it in like this big way like it’s such a big problem, I’m a shooter and then we don’t narrow down. Give me a specific instance so we can pull it apart and see it from a new light. So last night, what are we doing, Courtney?
Courtney (22:54):
I’ll separate. So I should be walking my dogs right now.
Corinne (22:59):
Okay. So was that last night?
Courtney (23:00):
Yes.
Corinne (23:01):
Okay. So tell me about that. Like what time?
Courtney (23:03):
So I told myself that at seven o’clock I was going to walk the dogs because it would be cool enough outside for them.
Corinne (23:10):
Okay.
Courtney (23:11):
But I had my No BS group, we had a meeting yesterday. And so it ran over and I was like, I should be walking the dogs, but I need to eat dinner.
Corinne (23:22):
Okay. So what’s wrong with that thought?
Courtney (23:24):
I just feel that I’m dying by a 1000 cuts I’ve been redoing.
Corinne (23:32):
Let me just… We already have… We’re not even a plan rebel, but you have all these ideas of what’s happening about you. But so you have a No BS meeting where you’re actually working on your fucking self and your weight loss. It runs late. You’re like, “I should be walking my dog, but I haven’t ate yet.” And you’re like, “Man, I’m just done by a 1000 cuts over here on this weight loss.”
Courtney (23:58):
Yes. Next thing you know, I’m two bowls of ice cream in and I’m like, I should have only had one.
Corinne (24:06):
This is not you rebelling, this is you talking yourself into eating.
Courtney (24:10):
I guess. Yeah. I can see that.
Corinne (24:12):
Well, let me ask you this, yesterday should you have just said, “Look, No BS bitches, I’ve got a dog to walk. We’re not working on me today.” But the dog’s way more important.
Courtney (24:23):
No, that’s ridiculous.
Corinne (24:24):
Right. So it’s dying by a 1000 cuts.
Courtney (24:27):
You’re right.
Corinne (24:27):
You showed up for a No BS meeting, it ran late. You were working. When you tell me, this is the difference between me and you, I can’t see your name, Courtney. This is the difference between me and you, Courtney. Courtney sees herself through the lens of dying by a 1000 cuts and shooting all over herself. Corinne sees her through the lens of this is a No BS woman who can probably lose weight if she quit talking to herself like an asshole. So when I look at you and you tell me your story, I’m thinking, well, how was she talking to herself like an asshole? We should just not do that. Because if you tell a better story, guess what happens? You get a better result.
Corinne (25:01):
So if you wanted to be the hero of yesterday’s story, it would be going into dinner and thinking, I just finished a No BS meeting, I’m hungry. I said I was going to walk the dog, but I’m not going to do that right now. I’m just going to eat dinner because I’ve been spending time working on myself already. The dog can wait or sometimes I think I should walk the dog, but you know what? I also think I should eat dinner. I’m hungry. It’s not a dramatic ass deal unless it’s backed up with, well, I’m Courtney plan rebel who’s done by a 1000 cuts and only shoots on herself and that’s why she can’t lose weight. If you keep going into every situation with that identity as broken, essentially like all of that, does that feel helpless or broken or what feeling does that come up for?
Courtney (25:51):
It’s just like, I guess it’s almost like a perfectionist like I should be doing better, see should.
Corinne (25:57):
Okay. But this is what I want you to do, I want you to quit thinking that should is bad. It’s just a word that your brain is using. So like your brain is like, “See, I’m a shooter. I need to prove to you Corinne. Tell me what that is when you think, “Corinne, I am Courtney, I’m a shooter.” How does that feel?
Courtney (26:19):
It feels ridiculous.
Corinne (26:20):
What else is it to you? It feels ridiculous when I say it because it is, but when you really think about it, when you think of yourself, like here I am, I’m just a shooter, when I’m shooting that means what about you?
Courtney (26:31):
That I’m shooting myself.
Corinne (26:31):
That what?
Courtney (26:37):
I’m being self-deprecating.
Corinne (26:39):
Yeah. So if every time you use the word should it’s tapping on like well, you’re self-deprecating, what else do you make it mean? If let’s say that like, I can’t fix you, “Corinne can’t fix me. Oh my God, I’m going to be shooting for the rest of my life.” What do you think that means?
Courtney (26:56):
Oh, it feels hopeless.
Corinne (26:57):
Okay. That’s what I’m getting at. So if you have like an attachment to shooting as well, this ultimately every time you think this Courtney, this made you a hopeless dieter, this made you so there’s just no fix for you. You’re never going to be able to lose weight. This is what’s going to sabotage you. This is what’s going to kill you. You have a lot of drama around a word.
Courtney (27:17):
You’re right.
Corinne (27:19):
That word doesn’t mean dick until you put your drama behind it.
Courtney (27:23):
And I don’t think that I ever connected like me constantly saying, I’m not doing good at this. Like to me should means that I’m not doing as much as I could be doing instead of recognizing what I am doing.
Corinne (27:36):
Well, and that is the money thought right there that I want you to move forward with when it comes to should. It’s a word that I use that makes me pause and think about what am I fixing to do? Because usually when I think I should be doing something, it’s pointing me in the direction of that’s what you had planned. Are you sure you want to do the next thing? It’s like a signal on a highway. It’s like, do you want to get off on this exit? This is the red stop. There’s not another one for 30 more miles. So I want you to think about this. You can keep using the word should if you’ll switch that when I say that it’s where it opens up like, all right, this is option time.
Corinne (28:20):
This doesn’t mean something bad. What most of us do is we say, should, I should be doing this because we’re thinking bad things about ourselves. Should in and of itself, there’s nothing wrong with it. But it is one of those things that we teach you to watch out for because what most people are doing is thinking I should be doing this because if I don’t, that means I will never have my hopes and my dreams. I will always be stuck. I will be overweight for the rest of my life. Like we put so much behind it. Should is like a flare to check under the hood what’s going on underneath it. And then you work on your concept there. Okay?
Courtney (28:59):
I agree. Thank you so much.
Corinne (29:01):
Well, you’re welcome. That’s a great question, Courtney. So here’s what I want you to do, though. I really want you to keep making your plans like when you said plan rebel or whatever, I want you to keep making plans. And now I want you to listen for as many shoulds as you possibly can without judging yourself for it.
Courtney (29:17):
Okay. I’m already in it.
Corinne (29:19):
I want you to now use them as a trigger to be like, all right, this is a moment to pause and evaluate, what am I fixing to do? Does it feel right in my body or does it feel wrong in my body? Like now I’m just going to use it as an easy way to trigger myself to think before I act.
Courtney (29:35):
Okay.
Corinne (29:35):
All right.
Courtney (29:36):
All right. Thank you so much.
Corinne (29:37):
You’re welcome.
Sarah (29:38):
Thank you so much for your question. And I’m just going to take a moment to reset the room before we get to another question. If you are new here, this is our weight-loss question and answer session with Corinne and Kathy, the Cost of Losing 100 Pounds with Corrine Podcast. We’re talking all things weight loss say. And if you’re new and want to get started, just go to nobsfreecourse.com and you can get a free course from Corinne where she teaches you the basics of weight loss. What she teaches all of her clients is there in that free course to help you get started. All right, we’re going to move on to our next question from Julie. Good morning, do you want to unmute and ask your question?
Julie (30:19):
Good morning, ladies. I will start with a story and then I will ask my question. So I joined No BS back January, 2019 when I found Corinne’s podcast. I’ve never been coached before, but I went to camp in January of this year and my word is brave. And my goal was to get coached at some point. So I think this qualifies I’m not quite prepared to be on camera quite yet. So I’m like, this is a good safe spot for me. Anyway, so I lost 30 pounds with No BS very easily. I’ve found out that I do a lot of boredom eating and I got that under control very quickly. Lost 30 pounds, kept it off for nearly a year until the pandemic hit and not a unique story at all, but very slowly gained it back and very slowly turned around and started to be like, “Hey, I need to listen to Corinne some more and listen to the coaching calls get back into the mindset.”
Julie (31:24):
I will say that the mindset work helped so much during the pandemic, which we are still currently in. It was just the eating that I realized that I was doing it out of a comfort kind of eating and I’m working on that now. But my question is and it’s around working from home, which I have been doing for a year and a half. I will admit that it also took me a year and a half to get an office set up in my house.
Julie (31:54):
And I was in my office office last week at some time. And I realized when I was in the office, my desire to eat and not follow my plan and that kind of stuff, it was just not there. I was actually shocked I was eating the smaller portions that I used to eat before. I gained my weight back and I was like, well, shit, why can’t I do this at home? So I was hopeful. I posted on the Facebook group and I got a bunch of responses there. And I was just like, I should ask Kathy and the queen and even Sarah, if you guys had any tips for working from home and dealing with having an open kitchen all the time. I can just walk downstairs and I got a kitchen.
Corinne (32:39):
I will tell you, I’m sure we can give you some tips because I don’t even have to walk down the stairs, I just got around my corner to get to my kitchen.
Sarah (32:47):
My office is in the dining room next to the kitchen.
Corinne (32:51):
Kathy, where’s your office now that we’re sharing?
Kathy (32:53):
I actually have to walk down the stairs.
Corinne (32:55):
We’re just having a big sharing circle here.
Kathy (32:58):
16 of them by the way.
Corinne (32:59):
16 stairs. I’m about 16 steps and Sarah seems to like camp out in front of the fridge. So here’s my tips. This is going to be boring. This is what… I won’t say this, Julie, one of the things that I would do first before we give you any tips is figure out like you’re asking like, why can’t I do this at home like I do at the office, it’s a terrible question to ask yourself. I want you to think about your brain is chewing on that all the time because you haven’t even paused yet to… I teach a concept of right question, right answer, wrong question, wrong answer. We actually have a podcast on it. Maybe we can throw this when we put this in the podcast, we put this in the show notes, but I don’t know the number of it, but it’s in the way back machine. I’m sure it was in 2017 or 18 when we did that podcast.
Corinne (33:50):
Basically, when your brain offers up what we call poorly worded questions, bullshit questions, it’s a question that’s always going to feel bad. So like when you think, why can’t I do this at home like I can’t at the office, how do you feel in your body?
Julie (34:06):
I feel horrible because I feel like I’m failing in some kind of way. And I have tried to coach myself back into how can I versus why can I, because the how feels like I can find an answer to the how but not the why.
Corinne (34:22):
Right. That’s because that’s a better worded question. How can I mimic the thoughts, feelings and doing of my eating like I do at work versus home. I mean, you just said it. That probably, it feels like there’s a solution. The problem with poorly worded questions why can’t I eat at home like I do at work, is it feels like I’m failing. And when we feel like we’re failing, we’re in the mindset of looking around at everything that’s going wrong in our life. It’s like even if you’re failing in food, then you’ll start looking into other areas you’re failing. It just puts your brain to work on the wrong thing.
Corinne (34:59):
So the first thing I wanted to tell you is just make sure that if you really want to solve this problem, I’m a big believer in paper thinking, we also have a podcast, all about paper thinking and journaling is if that’s the major blocker for your weight loss right now, you owe it to yourself to every single morning, wake up and you ask the question, how can I today eat the way that I truly want for my weight loss knowing that I’m working at home. And you give your brain the actual problem to solve for in a way that puts you in an empowered, open, curious fence.
Corinne (35:39):
And for all of you, you just find that one time of day that you struggle with and you get really good at writing about that same problem every single day, you have to orient your brain to it. So one of the things that I did this morning, just to give you an example, is my entire team. So we have our live event coming up in October. It’s the eighth through the 10th. So if you’re a No BS woman and you have not signed up for camp yet, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get on it, go to nobswomen.com log in. It’s for members only. All these bitches that are sitting around listening to the podcast and joining in on the clubhouse who want to be a No BS woman, guess what? They can’t do it. They can’t come. You can. So get over there and register. That’s my high horse on that.
Corinne (36:24):
But because we’re trying to figure out how to get as many No BS women to come, because we know how transformational a three-day immersive Monset weekend is for people… Like I wake up every day and I’m like, why are not more members going to come to this if it’s going to change their life? It is on me to make sure they fucking know this is important. They have to know it’s important. So I write. Every morning I ask myself, how can I make sure every No BS woman knows how important camp is today? Then I went and I left a Marco Polo. Guess what I told my team to do every morning this week? Ask the same fucking question before they get started for work. That is the same thing that we do in weight loss.
Corinne (37:03):
We need to look at what is our problem that we’re facing right now, what is the one thing, if I was to change this one little thing about how I’m eating, if I change that, I bet weight loss gets easier. I bet I see more results on the scale in my clothes and how I’m feeling about myself in all the ways. And then you put your brain to work on writing about that every day. What are my solutions? How am I going to solve this? What is standing in my way? And how can I overcome that? For all of you who are No BS women you know inside your planner, we ask you every day what is going to get in the way of you following your plan today? What is going to be in the way of you doing your doable hunger.
Corinne (37:41):
We ask you those questions for a reason so that your brain’s not caught off guard when you think shitty things or life events start happening so that you have had enough time to orient yourself to the problem and you’ve put yourself in a power position to have thought ahead how to be successful at it. What things to try, what do you want your brain to remember in those moments? This is really important. So when you’re thinking about at home, my best tip would be before you run off and I don’t know, lock the door of your office so that you can’t escape and go to the kitchen, before you do things, get your mind set first on you having the power to change what’s happening. All right. I’ll let Sarah and Kathy, if you all have some tips or something else you want to add to it, won’t you all do that because I think this is a big one for a lot of people who’re still working from home in pandemic. As we all know, we were pandemic ready and pandemic chic before it was even a thing. We already had worked from home.
Kathy (38:44):
Yes we do.
Sarah (38:46):
Ideally. Yeah. Your name is Julie, I wanted to make sure I was reading it right. Your brain is focused on how things are different for you at home than they were at work. I want to remind you that at work, you probably had access to vending machines and restaurants and snack bars and kitchens and things like that too. So what I want you to do here is start thinking about why was I able to eat on plan at work and what thoughts did I have then that I can apply to working from home? Because your access to food probably didn’t change a whole lot. So think about it from those terms. When you were at work in the office, what were you thinking that kept you on plan?
Julie (39:28):
The biggest thing was my lunch bag. So I had set up a rule that I loved and I still love it is that if it went in my lunch bag and I brought it from home, that was the food I got to eat. Now, if it did happen where I was truly hungry after lunch, I could go down and get a small thing of nuts or like a very healthy snack fruit, that kind of thing from our cafeteria. But I was not allowed to buy anything else from that. And I had to stop and ask myself that question. So if it wasn’t in the bag that I brought from home, then I just couldn’t eat it. It was not even an option for me to go down there and eat it because it’s not in my bag.
Sarah (40:07):
Okay. So how can you apply that thinking to working from home?
Julie (40:12):
Well, I tried a couple of things. The one thing I did try was getting a physical container that I would put my lunch in. The problem was I’ve already bought all the food. So I don’t have to grab your wallet, you’ve to go out there and that kind of stuff.
Sarah (40:27):
Yeah. So this is really interesting because this is exactly what I do when I work from home. Downstairs, let’s see, today’s Tuesday, I have four containers of food for my four lunches this week and that’s what I eat. That’s my, I call it my constraint. I don’t go downstairs and say, “Oh, look, there’s ham, I’ll have a sandwich. Oh, there’s eggs, I’ll make an omelet.” I go right to my container of food because that’s what I have prepared for myself. That’s how I have prepared myself and my food for my lunch this week. So that’s sort of what you were talking about, but as to what you did when you were in the office, what if you were to apply that same constraint at home, at least try it at home. Do you think that’s doable for you? Do you think? Because that’s what it boils down to is you’re going to have to find these… We can give you all the suggestions and all the recommendations but you’re going to have to figure out what’s doable for you.
Julie (41:22):
And I do think that that is doable. That is something that I’ve started last week and then I continued on this week where I have prepped my lunch. That was something that I always did when I went into the office too, because the thought process I was going through was, well, what can I mimic that I did before? And one thing was always meal prepping on Sunday. But since I was working from home, I could just make a fresh meal, but then it’s like, oh, I got ham. So do I want this sandwich that I planned or I can have a ham sandwich kind of deal?
Sarah (41:53):
Right. The office’s in.
Julie (41:55):
Yeah, I had started meal prepping. I haven’t seen weight loss yet, but I do feel a lot more confident and kind of the same feelings that I had before when I was working through my weight loss. Like I felt like I could actually achieve it.
Sarah (42:12):
Yeah. I just want to offer to you that there is no more constraint to food prep than there is for making a 24 hour plan. In fact, it makes your 24 hour plan easier because I already know what my lunches for the next four days are going to be. So when I made my plan, boom, there’s my lunch. I put a snack on there, but I put if needed and I tell myself what it’s going to be. That’s the constraint that I bring to my day that allows me to make in a weight loss. And that sounds like a lot of what you were doing when you were at work that you could try to do now that you’re at home.
Julie (42:45):
Yeah. That sounds good. That’s what I’ve been trying to integrate in more because now I’m noticing after I’ve processed all the emotions and the thinking around the pandemic, I’m now back to my board of meeting. So I’m trying to figure out ways. While in the office I noticed too I would get up and go for a walk. I would always walk to the furthest bathroom while the furthest bathroom for me is down the stairs. So I will take the stairs to get there, but it’s not a five minute walk. It’s a two second kind of deal. So those things that would eat up time, we don’t necessarily have here.
Corinne (43:25):
Oh my God, what a terrible thought. Seriously, I don’t have the opportunity for a five minute walk at home. You could march up and down them stairs for five fucking minutes. If all you needed… Like if you were taking a five minute walk, that doesn’t mean you don’t have the opportunity at home. I got somebody last year walk a six mile race in their house because she lived in upper Peninsula, Michigan, and it snowed so bad. She couldn’t show up for all… Like when we had our Turkey trot, she had said she was going to walk six miles, she couldn’t do it. So she walked around her island in her small 1200 square foot home for six miles. She had a thought, I can do this. Your thought is I don’t have the same opportunities at home as I do at work. You have all the same opportunities at home, you’re not choosing them. You’re choosing the problems you have at home and focusing on that.
Kathy (44:18):
Julie, I walked to work every day and was telling Corinne this the other day.
Corinne (44:21):
This is a good story. Julie, listen to this.
Kathy (44:24):
This is not even a joke. So I was thinking about when I used to work in an office and about how much activity I got walking from the parking lot to the building. And I decided one morning I was going to go walk out my front door and do this easy quarter mile loop back to my front door. And so I walked to work every day, I walked down my 16 stairs out the door around the cul-de-sac and back. It takes me like six minutes and I walk to work.
Kathy (44:52):
I also walk home and that’s no joke, but it gets me out in the sunshine. It gets me away from the house. It clears my head for a minute. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Your thoughts are all about how things are not the same. They’re not looking for the opportunities that they can create for you that will ease your day. You’re thinking, I can’t take a five mile walk rather than thinking, how can I work in a five mile walk here? And let’s just shout out Elaine for that six miles that she did. We’ve got to say her name because that was crazy.
Corinne (45:30):
Yes. Elaine Hadley, No BS woman. She has the tattoo. And if anybody ever sees us use #untilIdrawmylastbreath, she is one of those lifers that I was talking about earlier, I don’t know if it was this call or previous call, but she is one of the ones said, “Corinne, until I draw my last breath, I will be a No BS woman riding right along with you.” So Julie, I just wanted to… I think Kathy made such a good point. Your brain is so focused on how they’re not the same.
Corinne (45:59):
I want you to focus on how they are exactly the same and where my… First, write out all the things that aren’t the same that your brain is like throwing a hissy fit over because you got to give your brain time to bitch and moan. Like all shitty is in there like, “Please just listen to me.” Write it all down and then I want you to go and I want you to literally challenge it on paper. It’s like, how is that a smoking lie? How is that not true at home? How could this be exactly the same at home? It’s just your thinking, sweetie. I know it is. And if you can do it once, you can do it again at home, even better.
Julie (46:31):
Oh, 100%. And I know it’s my thinking. And this has been extremely helpful. And I think the exercise of going through and having that bitch session is going to be great. And then countering that and saying, “Okay, I can’t do the five minute, but I walk four miles a day.” So why can’t I do another loop when I’m getting bored or when I would instead walking into the bathroom or walking to the farther printer?
Corinne (46:58):
Yeah. I just want to though applaud you as a long time listener and first time coacher. You did a great job.
Kathy (47:07):
And she got both of us.
Corinne (47:09):
I know. And I yelled at you in the middle of it. You survived just fine. You weren’t even Suzy. You could take a five minute walk to the bathroom by going around my cul-de-sac before you hit the toilet.
Kathy (47:20):
There’s all kinds of options. But good job, Julie.
Corinne (47:23):
I’m so glad you came today.
Julie (47:25):
Yeah. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk to you ladies. And I wish I could go to October camp. I’m trying to figure out October is always the craziest month. I’ve gone, January was my first one. I went to the all the other ones that you guys have had so far. I love it. My husband loves it. He’s like, “Just pay the money, just pay the money, you enjoy it. You are so much better afterwards. You learn so much. Just pay the money.” He loves you guys.
Kathy (47:51):
Why don’t you just sign up and then schedule a weekend when you’re not so busy to do camp on your own, you will feel just like you’re there. Fear of failure is one of the topics, people pleasing is one of the topics. I was like, oh my gosh, my pen is going to be on fire writing for sure. But just don’t get hung up on the belief that just because you can’t be there live with us that weekend, we have probably at least 10% of the people who sign up to watch the replays. They come out within two weeks. They sign up to watch the replays either with their accountability group. Like they meet up somewhere with a friend.
Kathy (48:32):
Well, my best friend, she gets camp every time and she’s got someone in her real life that she’s not even a No BS woman. She’s like, is it okay since I buy camp, ‘Can I watch it with my other best friend.” She’s cheating on me just for all of you to know. But her Albuquerque best friend, she’s like, she just needs this. I’m like, “Yeah, like I want you to grow. So find you a buddy, find your husband, do it yourself, get a hotel room for the weekend.” If it means a lot to you, you don’t have to Julie, but it is a good camp. So just don’t let, I don’t have that weekend free to be an excuse.
Julie (49:09):
Okay. I will say Kathy you said people pleasing, which is something I am working very hard on.
Kathy (49:15):
Oh, that’s a good point.
Julie (49:15):
So I think you might have sold me to try and convince my husband that I can find the time to do it.
Kathy (49:20):
Well, I want to tell you-
Corinne (49:22):
I will tell you Julie what you can do if you want to watch the video with your husband. It’s a shortie, but go to the camp page, the nobswomen.com, go to the events page. On there, Sarah, there’s a couple of videos that we have on there for you that kind of explain what’s going to happen during camp weekend. And I talk about the actual topics, not just this is what we do… He already knows what we do at camp, but this is the topics we’re going to talk about and I talk about those. Maybe watch it with him and see what you think and just make sure it’s going to cover the things you really need. And if it is, make your decision from there. If it’s not or you truly don’t have the time, but you feel really… So I just want you to make a decision not from like how you’re making a decision about your food, which is here’s the reasons why I can’t do it. At least give your mindset the reasons why you can and then make like an equal opportunity decision on it.
Julie (50:18):
Okay. Thank you.
Sarah (50:19):
Thank you so much for your question, Julie. And I think too this is a really good example of the theme of camp, Corinne, it’s becoming the hero of your own story. And it really starts with asking when a new situation arises like Julie transitioning from working in the office to working at home, it’s not this is a big change, it’s how can I navigate this change? How can I do something for me? How can I make this work? And by switching the way we ask that question, we suddenly become the hero or a champion for ourselves and advocating for what we need and what we’re going to eat that day for tomorrow and what that means. So thank you so much Julie, for your question. And if you are a No BS woman, we’d love to see you at camp.
Sarah (51:03):
All right. That is our last question for the day. If you’re new here, don’t forget, just go to nobsfreecourse.com. That’s where you can sign up for Corinne’s free weight loss course and learn exactly what she teaches her clients how to lose weight. And they will also get you on the list for our motivation Monday emails and other inspiration like when we have these free Q&A’s on clubhouse. We would love to have you. And thank you all so much for coming. Corinne, Kathy, any last words for the crew?
Corinne (51:34):
No, just you all have a great month. We’ll see you next month and make sure that you tell your friends about this clubhouse, that you tell them to go to take our free course. That’s how they’ll get notifications that we’re doing it. This is one of the things I love doing. I love talking to you all so I get to do it once a month and it’s a pleasure every single time.
Sarah (51:51):
All right. Then we’ll see you all next month on the second Tuesday at 9:00 AM Central. Bye-bye.
Corinne (51:58):
Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to nobsfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts to help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.
