Corinne:
Hi. I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go. Hello, everybody. Welcome back. So Kathy and I today, us two winos are going to talk to you all about…
Kathy:
Hey now. Hey now. Us two winos?
Corinne:
I know you like your wine every bit as much as I like my wine.
Kathy:
I don’t know about as much as, but I do like wine.
Corinne:
We do.
Kathy:
I’ll tell you what, I also have discovered that I love an old fashioned. You ever had an old fashioned?
Corinne:
I don’t even know what an old fashioned is. I know that sounds terrible, but…
Kathy:
Oh no, it’s bourbon. Bourbon and bitters and other amazing things. Anyway…
Corinne:
Not to get off on too much of a tangent upon all the drinks that we love, but we are going to talk to you as experts in two people that, we like our drinks, and how you can enjoy drinks along with having weight loss at the same time or maintaining. So whether or not you are maintaining, or you are someone who wants to lose weight, there becomes this question of, well, can I drink and lose weight. So let me just start by saying this, this episode is not for someone who needs help with their drinking. We’re not talking about, I drink too much, and it is sabotaging my life, it is causing a major disruption in my life and stuff. This episode is really about people who drink, they like to drink, sometimes we may even overdrink a little bit, but at the end of the day, we’re just trying to figure out how can I keep something that I like, and how can I lose weight?
Corinne:
And I always like to think of this as, even if you are someone who does not drink, there is not hardly anything we’re going to talk about today that does not apply to, how can I… I love cookies, or I love cake, or I love pizza, whatever your thing is, can I do that and lose weight? So that’s really what we’re talking about today, but the reason why we’re going to talk about it with the drinking, is because a lot of us, we have the same kind of reliance on alcohol as we do the cookies and the cakes and stuff, we use it to have a good time, instead of thinking about how could I have a good time without it? Can I do both?
Corinne:
There’s a lot of people that are drinking, you’ll have your glass of wine at night, and then all of a sudden you’ll go into fuck it drinking, which isn’t that you don’t know how to say no to drinks, but your mindset gets so shitty around, well, I probably shouldn’t be drinking anyway, there’s no way I could lose weight, and the next thing you know you finished off the bottle because you’re sitting around self-loathing that you started to drink in the first place.
Corinne:
So we’re really just talking about how do you have a good relationship with some wine, a beer, an old fashioned, whatever it is, how do you work this into your weight loss lifestyle? So that’s really what we are going to be discussing today. So I just wanted to say all that. So don’t tune out if you are sitting there thinking, well, I don’t drink, so this is not for me. Just sub in Oreo wherever I say wine, same concept. All right. So the first thing is just, you can drink and lose weight. I think a lot of people think that you can’t do both, I think you can, it just requires mindfulness around your drinking. So inside the NO BS membership, if you become a member of the NO BS weight loss program, we have a whole program around mindful drinking and weight loss, because it tends to be a big question.
Corinne:
People automatically have the same attitude about alcohol as they have about carbs and all this other stuff. We’ve just been taught that, in order to lose weight, you must be miserable, there’s no way you could ever do anything that you enjoy, it’s a crucible, weight loss has to be the crucible in order for you to lose it, and I just don’t think that’s true. When I was losing weight, I still had alcohol planned, and that was the difference for me, was when I was losing weight, I used to just… I was thinking about this the other day. And this is over the course of my entire history with my weight loss, plus 15 years in maintenance. There has been times where I’ve drank because I’ve had a bad day, or I’ve drank because it was a long day, and I just wanted to reward myself for getting through another one.
Corinne:
And what I did was, is I didn’t plan those drinks. Those were what I would call reaction drinking to life, which is the same as what we do with food. A lot of times we wake up with great intentions, we have a really good day, except everybody needed something from us today, we worked really hard, we didn’t really get a lunch break, all these things happened, we get home, and when it’s finally time to unwind, we react to the let down of the day, we react to all of a sudden being like, oh my God, what a long day this was. All of a sudden, all that comes into clarity, and what we do is, we do reactionary eating. So for me, one of the things when it comes to weight loss is, we just have to be very purposeful and deliberate around what we do with food, and we have to be very purposeful and deliberate around what we do with alcohol too.
Corinne:
I don’t think either of them are a problem for weight loss. I think the first step is just understanding, if I’m going to have it, I want to have it on my terms. I don’t want to be having it because I can’t handle my life, or I just need to relax or whatever. And so I remember when I first started losing weight, I would plan to have drinks on the weekend, and during the week, I would just be like, you know what, during the week I’m not going to drink. And I didn’t sit there and tell myself how terrible it was, and I didn’t sit there and tell myself that it was unfair, and I didn’t do that part, what I would do is, during the week, I would just say, this is what we’re eating this week, and we just want to be all in each day, and this weekend we can look forward to, we’re going to do date night on this night, and maybe on this night, we’re going to go out with friends.
Corinne:
And I would just think it all the way through, and I would make plans, and I would just look forward to that, and I would look forward to it without the week being miserable, and that was why I was looking forward to it. And I think that that’s a huge distinction that a lot of people don’t really understand is, a lot of people can not drink Monday through Friday, and then they’ll drink on the weekends, but what they’re telling themselves Monday through Friday is, I can’t wait for the weekend because this sucks.
Kathy:
100%. I love what you just said. In fact, I’d love for you to say it again so I could hear it again, but I think you are-
Corinne:
For the girls in the back, Kathy?
Kathy:
I’m serious. I mean, I’m sitting here going, wait a minute, what?
Corinne:
That’s funny.
Kathy:
I mean, seriously, because when I tell myself there’s no drinking through the week, that dialogue that you just said is exactly what goes on in my head. Oh, this sucks, I said I couldn’t drink, I can’t drink, right? Yes, I can-
Corinne:
I’m shocked that-
Kathy:
I can absolutely drink.
Corinne:
[crosstalk 00:08:23] an [inaudible 00:08:23] moment. What?
Kathy:
But I mean, it really is about that dialogue you tell yourself throughout the week. If you’ve decided not to drink through the week, you have to look at why you decided that. I mean, if you decided because you don’t want it on your ass through the week, that’s one thing, if you decided it because I shouldn’t, or this is what I’m going to try this week, or some [inaudible 00:08:50] response, then it’s no wonder we go face down in the-
Corinne:
Old fashioned.
Kathy:
Old fashioned On Friday night. I mean, seriously, that’s fascinating, Corinne, just fascinating.
Corinne:
You know that we’re becoming a couple when we’re finishing each other’s sentences.
Kathy:
We’re just now becoming a couple? We’re-
Corinne:
About five years in, we’re finally finishing each other’s sentences. But no, it is true. It’s one of these things where we have to consider… It’s just like I teach y’all with everything, if you’re an NO BS woman, you’ve heard me say this 5,000 fucking times inside the membership, we have to love the process. Loving the process starts with how you talk about the process, and how you talk about the process happens inside your brain. So all of you have to listen to it. And so thinking about… I was just sitting there thinking. For me, what has always worked when it came to my weight loss, and for the planning and all this other stuff, is sitting there thinking about, I choose to do this for these important reasons. I fill my head with that all the time. If I’m sitting there and I’m thinking, boy, I’d really like to have a drink tonight.
Corinne:
I tell myself, yeah, but we’re not drinking tonight for these reasons, and you’re going to get to have drinks on, let’s say Friday night, and it will be even been better on Friday night because you will have looked forward to it, and between now and then, you get the opportunity to experience excitement, and you get the opportunity to experience forward thinking, you also get the opportunity to experience doing something for yourself for a really good reason, and it having meaning. I think that we forget that we get that opportunity all the time, but what we do is, we sit there and be like, okay, can’t drink this week, and I really wish I could drink tonight. I don’t know how many of you have sat and probably thought, I really wish I could drink tonight, and you just tell yourself that is a lie. Kathy’s raising her hand. But this is one thing… So Kathy, I want you to think about this. Number one. How does that thought feel?
Kathy:
Oh, it feels… Which one? I wish I could drink tonight-
Corinne:
So let’s say that you haven’t planned drinks. Let’s say you and Ken going to go out on Friday and Saturday, that’s when you have planned to have drinks, and it’s Wednesday after meeting [Palooza 00:11:24], and you catch yourself at night thinking, I wish I’d planned drinks, or I wish I could drink tonight. How does that feel?
Kathy:
It feels sad. It feels yearning. It feels… You’re [inaudible 00:11:47].
Corinne:
It doesn’t feel good. And you kind of just feel almost cheated, denied. I think about when I think, I wish I could do this, I feel like I’m being denied something. And it’s one of those sentences that sounds very true, and our brain will just offer it up, and it’s one of those that I think all of you have to catch when you’re having it. And you have to tell yourself, no, I really don’t wish I was drinking tonight. What’s actually happening right now is, I’ve had a long day, I’m really tired, and what I’m really wanting is what? Because it’s never… Y’all all have to think about this when it comes to the drink or when it comes to the food, you’re not wanting to eat something or drink something because it’s like, well, that old fashioned is going to taste amazing.
Corinne:
It’s like, no, it’s how am I going to feel if I have that old fashioned? What is it going to relieve for me? What will I not have to think about? What will I get to start thinking? Like oh, we can relax, this is so much fun, whatever those thoughts are, that’s what you have to tell yourself. It’s like, it’s not that I wish that I could drink, it’s that right now what I really want is this. If it’s not the food or it’s not the old fashioned, then what is it that I’m really wanting in this moment? Even if you can’t give yourself that, even if you’re not emotionally cable to go there, at the very least be honest with yourself and just-
Kathy:
It’s so interesting.
Corinne:
Go ahead.
Kathy:
That’s so interesting, because I don’t make old fashions at home. I don’t have the stuff-
Corinne:
What do you drink at home?
Kathy:
I have a bottle of wine at home, glass of wine. I have a bottle downstairs. I don’t drink a whole bottle. But what’s interesting is what you just described about loving the process, and I get to have an old fashioned this weekend, I have that thought, because I don’t make them at home. There’s no scarcity or lack or denial or anything like that around an old fashioned at home, but if there’s a bottle of wine downstairs, and I go downstairs after meeting Palooza, and I have this thought, I wished I’d planned a glass of wine, then that’s when all that comes in. That’s interesting.
Corinne:
So in that moment, what do you think you could do other than… Because right now what’s happening is, I wish I could…. This is Kathy’s scenario, and this is I think what most people do. I even do this y’all. It’s not like I never have this thought. I’m just really good at knowing what bullshit it is, and when I say bullshit, it’s bullshit because it makes me feel terrible. And I’ve taught myself that thoughts that just come up naturally that make me feel terrible, I want to have an autocorrect for it. I want to teach my brain to be as good as the computer is at squiggle-lining a thought that comes in and be like, all right, hey, we squiggled a thought here, do you want to right click it and fix it, or do you want to just let it just sit there like a hot mess in your life? So I just don’t want typo thoughts all the time.
Kathy:
I love that. I love that analogy, typo thoughts. That’s good.
Corinne:
Yes. And we all have them. So for you, here’s what’s happening. I wish I could have that bottle of wine, and then your brain goes to, yeah, but you can’t, you said you wouldn’t, we got to make it to the weekend, which is, as I say, layering shit upon shit. It’s like, I got this one shitty thought, now let me bring a host of other ones to answer the call. So what do you think you need to do then? And I don’t mean not drink. The answer is, I want to get to where I don’t drink, but what I’d like to be able to do is get to where I don’t drink… Because you don’t drink now, the only thing you’re learning though is how to punish yourself through the week, you’re not learning how to care for yourself through the week. So if you ultimately want to, here’s what I really want, I want to not drink, and I want to feel good about it, versus not drink and feel terrible about it, which is kind of what’s happening now, what do you need to start telling yourself in that moment?
Kathy:
Yeah. So for me, what tends to work is if I put myself in the after the drink, if I think about what’s going on after I have the drink. Work is still coming the next day, the meeting Palooza still happened, and I’m not going to sleep well. So it doesn’t change anything, except it degrades my sleep. Having a glass of wine at night is going to degrade my sleep. I know that. So what I do is, I think to myself, if I have meeting Palooza tomorrow, I want to sleep well tonight. So think about that person and how you want to show up tomorrow, and it usually helps me say tonight’s not a wine night, and that’s okay.
Corinne:
Well, and I think that-
Kathy:
So that’s what I do.
Corinne:
… So that’s one thought that would work, is for all of you who just need a softball pitch when you’re like, I just wish I could have a glass of wine right now, just to say, it’s okay to want it, we’re just not going to have one. Even that right there-
Kathy:
Yeah. And for me, because I want to sleep tonight. Yeah.
Corinne:
Yeah. But even if you just dead stopped right there, that feels very different than, I want a glass of wine, and I can’t have one, and I don’t get to drink. Think about just even the shift of just being like, it’s okay to want it, we’re just not going to. It’s softer, it’s different, and then it… And I will tell you, if you introduce a softer thought, then it’s easier to say the other things like, and I just choose a good night’s sleep. If sleep means a lot to you, it’s that… For me, a lot of times I just say… I just choose to wait 30 or 40 minutes, because I will bet you in 30 or 40 minutes, I will have lost interest in it, I will be doing something else. A lot of times I just talk to myself about my urges. If it’s an urge to go out to drink…
Corinne:
Today is a good example. I have had the urge to do our date night tonight instead of Friday, all day, and it has come up 400 times. It’s so funny we’re even doing this podcast, because it was like, oh my God, now I got to do a podcast on fucking drinking, and all I’ve been doing is having urges all day long about wanting to go out and drink wine tonight. But I’ve been telling myself all day long, you’re just tired, that’s why your urges are coming. What you really want is to go to bed tonight. I’ve just been kind of telling myself that. And so that’s why I was saying in the beginning, a lot of times it’s asking yourself what is it that’s really going on here, what do I really want? It’s like, I’m not going to a debate if wine, beer, old fashions, gin and tonics, whatever it is you drink, whether they taste good or not, whether they feel good or not, yeah, but that’s not what we’re really after.
Corinne:
We’re really after this emotional state that it’s going to create for us. And I just think for a lot of women, especially at night, the vast majority of the women I’ve coached, they’re usually wanting to drink because they’re just tired of thinking about the day. And they know if they have a drink, they know if they eat the cookies or whatever, then their brain will quit thinking about the day, it moves on to this topic.
Corinne:
And that, I will tell you for all of you, is important to notice for you, and that if the answer is, I really just want to be able to turn off my day, then let’s work harder on learning how to do that with our brain, and not needing a bottle of wine or sleeve of Oreos to do that. Because learning how to tell your brain, we’re done worrying right now, we’re done thinking about what we could have done differently today, we’re done thinking about all the things we have to do tomorrow, we’re just going to spend time enjoying our life right now, and everything else gets to just hang out there, that skill is a life skill. Learning how to use the cork screw or a pair of scissors to open up a bag of Oreos, not a life skill, nobody’s going to pay you for that.
Corinne:
So it’s one of these things that we want to just examine. So for me, a lot of times I think it’s really important for all of you to be thinking about, plan your drinks. In order to even know what it is you seek, what it is that you truly want and stuff, it’s just like with the food, in the beginning, plan what you realistically want to have, and then pay real close attention when you’re having it with your conscious brain, because inside your conscious brain is also the version of you who dreams, who has goals, who’s doing all that. So you really want to no longer be reactionary drinking, you really want to be intentionally drinking so that your dreams can say, [inaudible 00:21:48], is three glasses really going to help us lose weight this week? You want that voice to have volume.
Corinne:
Without a plan, and you’re just reacting and drinking, you’re never figuring out why you’re drinking to begin with, you’re never figuring out how does this even play into weight loss. Because I watch a lot of people make this mistake too with weight loss, they’re doing reactionary drinking, and they think that’s why they can’t lose weight, that slows weight loss down, and they associate… There’s a difference between… I can drink and lose weight if I drink with intention, and I plan it, and I watch my data, and I see what my numbers do, and all of that, along with my goals, will tell me the frequency and volume at which I can drink and lose weight. But what most of us are doing is blaming alcohol when all we’re doing really, the real problem is we’re not dealing with our life and we’re drinking to compensate, we’re drinking to great feelings, and we’re thinking that it’s the alcohol’s fault that we’re not losing weight.
Corinne:
It’s like, no, the reason why you’re not losing weight is because you’re not dealing with your life, not thinking about your stuff, you’re not challenging yourself. That’s why you’re not losing weight. So the answer is, I think you can drink and lose weight, you just have to be willing to really look at it, plan it, think it through, understand why you are, and then for me, a huge shift that started in this last year for all of you… And I’ve talked about it on the podcast before, is I made an agreement with myself… The first agreement that Chris and I made was during COVID. When everything closed down, that took away where Chris and I connected. We always went out on date nights. Well, when everything shut down, we’re like, we’re just sitting here all the time like a couple of boo boos on a log. What are we going to do? How are we going to connect?
Corinne:
And we of course started drinking at home some, thinking, well, the magic in our relationship is where we go to the bar and we have drinks. And I started really pulling apart what was actually so awesome about it, and it was the conversations that we were having, and it was getting out of our house and dressing up for each other, and it was all the mental stuff that went on around our relationship that was the magic. So our first thing was, we’re no longer drinking at home. We realized that we liked dressing up, we like the event of going out and stuff, drinking at home for us was just us drinking because we were bored with COVID, and that was no longer a good enough reason for me.
Corinne:
And I just at that point really realized that if I’m drinking at home, I’m never drinking at home because I truly enjoy it, because I am having fun. I couldn’t even find a time… And I’m not saying all of you are like this, but this is the self-examination that I did. I just realized that drinking at home for me was always reactionary, and I just made an agreement, I don’t drink at home anymore. If we want to drink, we will go out. And that was one of our first big things that we did for ourselves, is we gave ourselves a rule that was set in what we truly want for our relationship, and what we truly want for ourselves. It was not based in, I can’t have it, we shouldn’t be doing this. It wasn’t based in shame and self-loathing, it was like, I want this rule because it helps me be the person I really want to be, especially with my husband and as a mother.
Corinne:
The next big change for me came from, I spent a lot of time realizing that when it came to drinking… I was thinking about, do I want to be the kind of person who never drinks again? And I mean, I worked on this for a year, and I was like, no, I don’t want to be the kind of person who doesn’t drink, I do like drinking, but I want to be the kind of person that, when they drink, it’s because there’s joy, and it’s fun, and it fits the life I want to be living. And so when I thought about it from that way, I then created new rules for myself that were all based in who I wanted to be. Not based in who I thought I should be, it wasn’t based in what I thought was wrong with me, it wasn’t based in what other people thought I should be doing, it was based in what Corinne, and especially Chris were thinking. And so for us, I had made a big rule that I didn’t want to go with Chris to the bar on nights I felt bad.
Corinne:
That’s not what I wanted for us. That’s not what I wanted for my marriage. That’s not what I wanted for date night. When we go, I want it to literally be because we both want to be there, I’m ready to pay attention, I’m ready to be in love with my man, I want to have my wine, this is how much I like to drink when I go out. It’s all planned, and it’s planned to where I get to look forward to it, I get to do it with integrity, I get to… Even if I feel like shit physically the next day, I didn’t do it to myself from a place of, well, I felt like shit the day before, then I drank, and now I get to feel like shit again two days in a row.
Corinne:
I do it with my eyes wide open, and I really understand a lot of the drinking. So for me, that just really worked. Because we like to go to Vegas. Y’all all know. We love to go to Vegas, and we like to drink by the pool, and that’s what we like to do. And so some of our compassionate rules are, we don’t drink at home, when we have date nights, they’re real date nights, they’re not like we need to go out so Corinne can bitch, unload, and relax. Nobody’s having fun when Corinne’s doing that, including Corinne, especially Chris. I just want to promise all of you. He will go, but he’s not having a great time when our date nights are about bitching and loathing. And then when we go to Vegas, we know what time we’re going to start drinking, we know when we’re going to quit, especially when we go to Vegas, we know the day before we fly home, it’s a turn down night.
Corinne:
We’re old, can’t go like we used to. A four hour plane ride home is not pleasant when you’ve been drinking all night long. So we just decided, we started looking at physically how did we feel, and I wrote a lot about it. I talked a lot about it, and when I did that, I started saying, I do want more for myself. Sometimes I’m okay with feeling like shit, other times I don’t want that for me. And then that allowed me to create even more. And when I say rules, I know a lot of y’all have a lot of shitty relationship with rules. My thing about rules is, rules set in love and compassion for myself win the day. I don’t set rules that are based in self-loathing, and I don’t create rules for myself that are coming from me feeling lack. I always-
Kathy:
Or punishing yourself.
Corinne:
Or what?
Kathy:
Punishing yourself.
Corinne:
Yeah. No. My rules are always set in, this is the kind of person that I really truly want to be, because I spent some time thinking about it and examining it. I don’t set rules the day… A lot of people, I watch people try to set food rules and drinking rules in a hangover or after a binge. Worst time in the world to set rules. That’s when you’re there for yourself, and you’re examining what happened, how am I truly feeling, what are the after effects of this, and really understanding and examining what’s going on. That’s not rule-setting time, that’s self-exploration time. Get you some space. Because that’s what I did a lot when I was reactionary drinking. We would go out two or three nights a week that was unplanned, I’d have threes of wine, I started realizing them three classes of wine meant that the majority of the week I felt like shit the next day.
Corinne:
I was functional shit, but I felt like shit. I didn’t want that for me anymore. And so when I wrote about it, and I was really like, I notice a pattern. I don’t sleep as well, then the next day I have intense cravings for salt. I don’t know why I always crave salt and meat the next day. But I have these intense cravings that I have to work through all day long, I’m always tired, so I don’t even get to… My work day ends up being way longer, because it ain’t like I can blow off my projects. I’m just now going to do them slower, which means an eight hour day now turns into a 10, because I’m working slow. And when I started really examining that, then I took a day when I wasn’t hungover, and I wasn’t in the shitter and stuff and was like, knowing everything that I know now, what feels right for the next step? And that was super helpful. So what were you going to say, Kathy?
Kathy:
I’m just sitting here thinking about, you know me, I love rules. I’m a rule follower. I’m a rule maker. You tell me exactly what you want, I’m going to the mat. So for someone like me who, I do tend to create rules for myself out of love, I tell myself… We’ve talked already today about how drinking jack’s my sleep. Well, I have a rule, I don’t drink after seven o’clock at night. I don’t have that first glass of wine after six o’clock at night, you know what I mean?
Kathy:
I have this litany in my mind to protect my sleep, because that feels right. So if I decide now I am no longer a reactionary drinker, I can tell myself that, and then when I have the urge when I go downstairs at night, I can pause and ask myself, okay, why am reacting with this urge? What’s going on here, and what can I do differently? And I think that feels so much better rather than walking downstairs going, meeting Palooza, I’m so tired, now I have to fix dinner, and I’ll just have a glass of wine while I’m fixing dinner, and then I won’t have to think about it anymore, wha, wha, wha
Corinne:
I like how you say, I have to fix dinner.
Kathy:
Yeah. Have to. Yeah.
Corinne:
So let me drink some wine so I can be like, now [crosstalk 00:32:53] make dinner.
Kathy:
Right. But I think that’s what happens to a lot of us, is we fall into that pattern of thinking, now I’ve got more to do, now I’ve got more to do, and how am I going to leave this behind and start this over here, and glass of wine will sure help all that. No. Does it really? I think that’s where we have to get, is just really questioning where that urge is coming from, and why it’s there, and what can we do differently? I don’t know. It’s just very interesting.
Corinne:
Well, here’s one thing I know, I’ve never drank a glass of wine that has changed my outlook on my life. The only time I’ve ever changed my outlook on my life is when I’ve sat my little happy ass down with a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote out my shitty ass outlook that I’m having right now, and then decided what do you want to be thinking. Because I think we just forget that all the time. It’s like, just because your brain offers up some bullshit does not mean you have to keep [inaudible 00:33:54] in it. And what we do is, we have these things like, I have to make dinner… This is such a good one, because I think a lot of people go through this. You’ve worked all day, and now it’s time for you to come downstairs and make dinner.
Corinne:
And your first thought is, I have to make dinner. And then you pour a glass of wine, your attitude about dinner now changes. It’s not like you’re sitting there drinking wine, going, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this. It’s like, ooh, this wine tastes good. All of a sudden you’ve made dinner into fun event. And it’s like, what if we just quit calling it, I have to? Just here’s how I unwind after a long day, I come downstairs, I take a breath, and then I’m making some dinner. That’s all that’s really happening here. So it’s just interesting how we co-mingle things, because I think the same thing happens in the afternoon with snacking. A lot of people are like, I have to get this project done, well, let me go get a snack, and then after you eat a snack, your attitude about the project turns from, I have to do this, to okay, it’s go time, time to finish. It’s like, all right, what if we skip the snack and just tell ourselves, quit whining, it’s go time, time to finish?
Kathy:
Yeah. You make it sound so easy, Corinne.
Corinne:
Well, let me say this, there’s difference between simple and easy. What to do differently and what to think differently is actually simple. It’s not like I’m teaching neurosurgery here. Nobody needs a degree in how to come up with a different thought from, I have to, to this is just what I’m going to do because I do it every night. I just figure if you’re going to cook dinner every night, Kathy, get a better attitude about it, because it’s not like… Or quit cooking dinner every night and just be like, you know what, I’m done with this. We no longer eat dinner anymore. We just don’t even realize the emotional bullshit that we put ourselves through by sitting there and talking to ourselves like a complete jackass over something that we’re going to do every single day.
Corinne:
The other day I was thinking about shaving my legs, and you would’ve thought that I was going to have to build a house all by myself and learn how to do it or something. And it was shaving my legs. And I literally told myself, I cannot believe that you’re just sitting here and making this such a big drama thing, like I don’t have time, it sucks that women have to shave legs. I had this complete story, and I literally told myself in the shower, you don’t want hairy legs, it’ll take five minutes at the most, it’s go time. Just calling myself on the carpet for how often I think stupid shit all day long that drags me down, is so helpful. And it helps you… And y’all, this is just a little side tangent, but the more you get good at listening to some of that just sabotage thinking like, I have to make dinner, I have to shave my legs, whatever it is, the more you get better at hearing it and being like, oh no, we’re not going to sit here…
Corinne:
If we’re going to shave our legs, we’re going to do it with a better attitude than [inaudible 00:37:14]. Because what happens is then, by the end of the night, you not only have every little shitty thought that you’ve had about your legs and making dinner and all this other stuff, but you’ve got your legit shitty thoughts, like if somebody yelled at you that day, or somebody said something terrible to you, or you really miss your mom and you haven’t seen her in months. You’ve got all of that that’s bigger picture stuff that does feel kind of gross that you’re dealing with, and then you just put this little shit, that’s the drain. That’s where it’s just like having a… In a boat. It’s like you’re just out on the sea, and you got this small hole in the boat, and it’s just your little shitty thoughts all day long about how you talk to yourself about the things you got to do and stuff, and if you don’t plug it, eventually you drown.
Corinne:
So the only thing else that I wanted to talk about that, I just get asked this all the time, this is the fun part. Kathy, we get to talk about our favorite kinds of drinks. People literally ask me all the time. And I know why y’all ask. It’s just like, oh my God, how is it that you’ve drank all these years, and you lost weight, and you keep it off? I’m really smart about my drinking. And this works for me. This does not work for everyone. So I’m going to share mine, and then Kathy can share hers. Number one is, when I go to the bar, they give me my wine in a wine glass, and I always ask for water in a wine glass.
Corinne:
I don’t know why, but I am way more apt to drink my water if it’s sitting there in a pretty wine glass. It makes me feel like I’m having the experience of the drinking without just… My old tendency was to just sit there with no water, and then just drink, and then after one glass of wine, I’d forget about water, I would just be drinking. So that’s one thing that I do at bars that’s very helpful. I always have a plan. And then when I go to Vegas, I do not drink sugary drinks ever. You would not catch me drinking anything with sugar in it. And it isn’t because I think sugar’s vile, but I know after years of trying to drink some sugary drinks that my ass feels bad the next day. I can drink… I love flavored vodkas. So Deep Eddy’s grapefruit is my number one favorite, if anybody cares-
Kathy:
Oh, I love that one. Deep Eddy’s cranberry is really good too, especially this time of year.
Corinne:
[crosstalk 00:39:55] Deep Eddy. They’re just… Deep Eddy and me go hand in hand. But I love Ciroc’s watermelon vodka, that’s another delicious one. But I like flavored vodkas with club soda and ice. And especially in the summer, people always ask, how do you sit by the pool and drink all day? And it’s like, club soda’s an easy way to also get some hydration in. But I just get flavored vodka mixed with club soda, and that’s my go-to drink. So you’re always going to see me either drinking wine… And I don’t drink red wine, because it gives me rosacea. I’ve learned over time it gives me a bad headache, and it gives me rosacea. So I cut that out.
Corinne:
So a lot of my relationship with alcohol has been to truly pay attention, because I actually do want to enjoy it, and it’s hard to enjoy drinking when you’re drinking things just to be drinking and they make you physically feel like. Now, I would love to drink White Russians like they were going out of style, favorite all time drink, but it also jacks up my sinuses and my bathroom behavior the next day is terrible after White Russians. It just totally tears me up from the nose on the way down, so I quit drinking them. The only time I ever do any kind of White Russian is on my birthday. A lot of times…
Corinne:
My friends know how much I love them, and I will have a White Russian on my birthday, or there’s one other shot that I will do, and it is called an oatmeal cookie. And I would like to thank my best friend’s husband, Todd, he’s the one that introduced me to that. He and I have the same dessert profiles. We love all the same dessert profiles, and Jane and Chris, my husband, they love the same dessert profiles, and we are both very opposite end of the spectrum on those things.
Corinne:
So there’s a shot called the oatmeal cookie that’s really good, and I will do that sometimes on my birthday, but other than that, it’s flavored vodkas and club soda, and my favorite wine is Sauvignon Blanc, then I would go Pinot, then I would go Chardonnay. But like I said, a lot of it is I’ve just really learned that when I drink, I want to drink what I’m really going to enjoy, otherwise, why am I doing it? It’s the same thing with food.
Corinne:
I go out to eat and stuff, and very often… I went to a dinner last week, a friend of mine invited me and Chris. And we never get invited to dinners, and we finally got invited to one, and we went to a real nice restaurant downtown. And everybody was having appetizers, and I was just kind of looking at them, and they looked good, but they didn’t look like the kind of appetizers I would’ve ordered, and I just decided it’s not worth it. If I’m not truly going to enjoy it… I just have a rule with myself. I’m not going to eat things I don’t truly enjoy anymore. And sometimes that means at home I’m just eating a salad or whatever, but when I’m at home, part of truly enjoying is, not only am I going to enjoy it now, but I’m going to enjoy myself 30 minutes from now, three days from now because of it. So those are my drinks. So what are your drinking tips, Kathy?
Kathy:
We share a lot the same. Probably my go-to is Chardonnay, then Pinot Grigio. Sauvignon Blanc is a close third, but it’s a little dry for me. It’s a little drier than what I like. Not a red wine-
Corinne:
So we’re like reverse order?
Kathy:
Yeah.
Corinne:
Yeah. But the same-
Kathy:
I’m not a red wine person either. I just don’t care for it that much. And I’ll be honest with you, it makes me sweat. I don’t get rosacea, but give me a glass of red wine, and I’m going to start sweating just holding the glass. I don’t know what it is.
Corinne:
It’s so weird, because it just tears me up. I can’t drink it anymore.
Kathy:
I also every now and then, not as much anymore, but I also do like a good craft beer, like a nice Hazy IPA or a stout, especially a stout this time of year that’s got a lot of coffee and chocolate notes. It’s nice. I also love the flavored vodka, but I don’t keep it at home. I don’t do that very often. And my go-to when I go out with our friends, we have a once a month dinner date, I always get an old fashioned. That’s my treat for that occasion. I almost never order them outside of that, but I have just found that I really like to…
Kathy:
It’s something that I will sip, because it’s kind of strong. It comes in one of those little short whiskey glasses with one big ice cube so that it keeps the drink cold, but it doesn’t dilute the drink. So it’s a little stronger than a glass of wine, so it takes me longer to get through it. I sip through it, and I enjoy every single taste of it. So those are probably, those are my go-to’s. I don’t drink a whole lot other than that. That’s really it.
Corinne:
Well, and I think that that’s the thing, is when you hear both of us talk about it, we center our thoughts around it as what we’re really going to enjoy, and I think that that’s how weight loss and drinking go together, is you have to start thinking about, all right… It’s just like when we talk about cutting out mindless eating, and bites, licks and tastes, and I’m bored eating. I think the way that alcohol plays a role in your weight loss, is cut out all of that reactionary drinking, cut out unwinding from the day. If you need alcohol to unwind from your day, you’re doing it wrong. You either need to learn how to unwind a different way at night that is truly compassionate, that allows you to get your goals.
Corinne:
That would be step one. Step two would be figure out how you’re getting so wound up all day long in your mind. Where are all the little pieces that you can start with, that you control, and how you think about yourself, how you think about others, your worries, your stressors and things like that, unwinding all of that makes it to where you don’t need to unwind so much at night. It’s where you just roll into the evening and being like… I was talking to somebody the other day, and she was telling me about her days, and how every single night she’s so emotionally worn out, and she was describing what all she did in a day, and I said, “How are you not at the end of the day so fucking proud of yourself and amazed?”
Corinne:
All the things that she gets done and everything. And she literally looked at me like, “What? That’s an option? I don’t have to just sit there and think, thank God I got through this?” No. You could actually sit down and pat yourself on the back and say like, I’m amazing every day, because I show up for all this stuff. And I think that’s the stuff that we don’t even realize that we can be doing. We’re just so busy with cookies and booze, we don’t even give ourselves the opportunity to see ourselves and see the world differently.
Kathy:
I think you have coached me on that very thing, to be honest with you. Because I think what happens is, you work so hard through the day, you’re tired when you’re finished, so it takes more energy to go back and think, I really kicked it today, rather than going, oh my God, I’m so tired. That’s where that reactionary mindset comes in. The other thing I would say just really quickly is, if you are a person who has had some success losing weight, watch your urges to eat at the end of the day morph into potential urges to do something else like drink. Because I think that’s what I noticed so much in myself after I had lost my weight, I had conquered the urges to eat at the end of the day, or to eat in the middle of the day, I had not yet worked on the urges to drink. So I just kind of swapped urges. Eating’s not an option, let’s have a glass of wine.
Corinne:
Well, when you swap vices basically, that means that what you didn’t do is, you may not be eating now, but you never swapped your mindset out. And that’s the real swap. And that is what we work on inside the membership. It’s very different than what we do on the podcast. I mean, we talk to about mindset here, but when you’re in the membership, that is all the work that we do. We don’t want to just teach you, here’s how you make your plan, here’s your body cues, now get busy, hussy. It’s all about how do we swap out these mindsets, how do we identify what we’re not giving to ourselves mentally each and every day, what are we not giving to ourselves emotionally each and every day, how do you start doing that, how do you unwind years and years and years of being told that you don’t get to feel good about yourself, that you have to be hard on yourself, you have to be an achiever and all this other junk.
Corinne:
So that’s a lot of the, I would say, the magic that happens inside the program that’s very different than the podcast, is we go deeper into… It’s not just about what you choose to eat or drink, and it’s not just are you going to have a sugar drink or not, are you going to have rules or not, it’s more about what do you don’t have in your life right now where food and alcohol is compensating for that, and then how do you create that, and how do you do that?
Corinne:
And then all of those urges start going down, and you start living more fully, and you enjoy the process of weight loss, you start enjoying yourself. A lot of our women for the first time ever, they’ve never been proud of themselves. Even when they have lost weight in the past, they still were not proud of themselves. They went from, I got to lose weight, I got to lose weight, the only way I’ll ever be happy is if I lose weight, blah, blah, blah, blah, to finally losing the weight and having a minute where they’re just like, woo hoo, I hit it, and I get to buy the clothes I want, but all the time they’re sitting there like… Now they’re worried they’re going to regain in the way. What if I regain my weight? What if I can’t keep this off?
Corinne:
And it’s like they never swap their mindset out. And if you’re not swapping your mindset out when you lose weight, I promise you, because I did it so many times, that weight will come back. Because if at the end of the day you’re trying to lose weight to feel better about yourself, and you lose weight, and you don’t, you’re still just hard on yourself in all your areas of life, but you happen to be wearing a size eight, then you lost your motivation to keep your weight off, because the promise never happened, and then we just go back to what we always knew, and we just start, well, because I have lost my weight, and I’ve had a bad day, I deserve to eat this, I deserve to have a drink. That’s how all of that ends up biting us in the ass in the end.
Corinne:
All right, everybody, that’s it for today. I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, and you know somebody who, say girl sitting there every day texting you saying, let’s go get drinks, why don’t y’all listen to this one together? Share it with her, and y’all have a talk about no more kumbaya drinking with the girls, not because you’re going to enjoy it, but doing it because y’all keep having a bad day, and now we’re all going to have drinks and talk about our shitty ass days. Let’s just stop doing stuff like that. All right, y’all have a good one. Bye y’all. Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over too nobsfreecourse.com, and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcast, Help You Lose Your Weight Without All the Bullshit Diet Advice. I’ll see you next week.
