Corinne Crabtree:
Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.
Corinne Crabtree:
All right, everybody, welcome back. So this is part two of our believability podcast. If you missed last week, we went over the three things you must believe in order to be able to lose your weight. And then this week what we want to do is we want to talk about the four phases of belief that we all go through. And I am talking to anybody who wants to lose weight all the way to anybody who wants to believe that their weight is going to stay off once they hit maintenance. This is some of the information that I’m sharing with all of you that is coming directly from our new maintenance course that we are releasing to our No BS women starting in July of this year. And so it’s going to be a four month program for them. They’re getting a special community. They’re getting all kinds of awesome things because once you hit maintenance it’s a different mindset. Just like the day one before you start losing weight, you have to learn how to believe.
Corinne Crabtree:
I want to talk to you about the phases of believability because if you don’t know that this is the normal phases you go through a lot of times when you’re in the middle of them you might think something’s going wrong. And that’s why I see a lot of people quit weight loss is that if they’re not highly motivated and excited just like they are on day one, well, then they think something must be wrong. “I’m not motivated. I should just quit.” Our brains treat that phase really rough and really shitty, so that’s why it’s really important for us to talk about it.
Corinne Crabtree:
All right. Kathy is here with me. Again, we recorded these two podcasts last minute because I was like, “Ooh, we should record on this.” And I just made her get on camera. She didn’t even know what I’m fixing to talk about again, but she had great insights in the last podcast. I highly anticipate more. I’ve raised the bar for you, Kathy.
Kathy Hartman:
Of course.
Corinne Crabtree:
Get ready to hijack.
Kathy Hartman:
I believe. I believe in myself, Corinne.
Corinne Crabtree:
That is right.
Kathy Hartman:
I believe.
Corinne Crabtree:
You believe in the third part of the believability.
Kathy Hartman:
I got you.
Corinne Crabtree:
All right. Here’s the first one. It’s called the impossible phase. This is where most of us start when we are going to lose weight. We are sitting around right before we take the plunge and we are thinking about how impossible it is. Our brain is telling you all about your past, everything that you’ve fucked up in the last 10 years, last 20 years, last 30 years when it comes to your weight loss, and every diet you’ve been on. It hearkens back to how your mama talked to you when you were 12 and you were eating mashed potatoes. It goes all the way back to your past, and it’s just sitting there telling you here’s every reason why you can’t do this. And that’s why it’s called the impossible phase. That is very normal. Just because you’re thinking you can’t do it, just because you’re in complete doubt, just because you’re scared, freaked out, all the things, that means that you are thinking about it. You know who’s not in the impossible phase? The person that has already decided this isn’t for me and has given up forever.
Kathy Hartman:
Oh, that was me. I was wondering, I was like, “How do you pull those apart?” Because I was sitting on the couch going, “Well, I’m just destined to be fat the rest of my life. Guess I’ll just do that.” I mean, I was totally not even in it’s impossible for me. I was just like, “Eh.”
Corinne Crabtree:
Well, that’s what I’m saying is the version of you that’s “Give up” one day may stumble upon something. Kathy stumbled upon me. She had a friend who was like, “Get your ass to the church and listen to this cusser alongside the priest.”
Kathy Hartman:
That’s right.
Corinne Crabtree:
That’s right.
Kathy Hartman:
At the church workshop.
Corinne Crabtree:
But she heard something and that’s when I will bet you she went from there’s no way in hell that I’m going to be able to do this. I have given up. She probably spent part of that time thinking, “This is impossible. I know what she’s saying, but still does she know Kathy Hartman? Kathy Hartman has never been successful.”
Kathy Hartman:
She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know my family. She doesn’t know my genetics.
Corinne Crabtree:
“I need to raise my hand and tell her about how my mama talked to me about mashed potatoes when I was 12 years old.” So in the impossible phase there is just a lot of doubt, a lot of fear, a lot of angst, but there’s a version of you who’s thinking about it and that’s good news. So for you, you want to know like, “Oh, that’s okay that all of that’s happening. That’s a normal part of my brain. My brain is supposed to protect me.” I want to tell y’all this about the impossible phase because a lot of you still haven’t even signed up to take my free fucking course, and you are listening to the podcast week after week. You need to get the free course.
Corinne Crabtree:
Number one, if you don’t sign up for the free course, guess what you don’t get? You do not get emails from me on Mondays telling you which podcast would be good for you to listen to and why. We are going to start sending out sometimes some resources for y’all if you want them. You won’t get podcast reminders. You won’t get an email from me saying, “Hey, I’m going live. If you’d like to come on and ask a question on Facebook now is your time.” So you’re late. All of you are just riding the podcast like a donkey. Get out of the podcast. Go over to nobsfreecourse.com. Sign up for that thing. Watch the videos. Use the workbook and then come back to the podcast and listen. You are missing out by not letting the free course help you.
Corinne Crabtree:
So, back to what I was saying. If you’re in doubt, and you’re in fear, and you’re in all of those things that’s good. That means you’re considering. That means there’s a little voice in your brain thinking, “Should we try something?” So that brings us to phase two, which means you go from only thinking about every reason why it can’t happen for you to what we call the possibility phase. Very often we do this subconsciously. Your doubts and your fears are loud. You’re still scared fuckless. All kinds of stuff is happening except there is a whispery voice, very small, and it doesn’t talk very much. And it is saying, “But what if it did work? What if we could? Shouldn’t we just try? Maybe one more time.”
Corinne Crabtree:
You still feel like ass. It’s like dragging your ass to do something that you really don’t want to do, but you know for some reason that you’re going. So possibility is important to realize when you’re there. It doesn’t always feel great in the possibility phase. You’re not sitting around thinking about all the things that are going to go right. You do need to, in the possibility phase, to be very intentional about allowing yourself to think sometimes about what could happen, why it’s important, what’s different this time, how much you’re willing to work for it. You have to on purpose do that.
Corinne Crabtree:
If you’re a No BS woman you know that I’m always giving you journal prompts inside your planner. I’m always talking to you on your weekly calls with me. I am always giving you ways to start challenging your thinking in a way that gets you traction and pointed in the right direction. When you’re in the possibility phase there is curiosity to try. Curiosity doesn’t always feel amazing. Curiosity typically comes with fear and doubt, but that’s a good phase to be in. In possibility, we usually take in action, which means if you’re sitting around listening to the podcast, you’ll be like, “Man, bitch makes sense. I’m going from impossible to possible.” Then get your ass over to nobsfreecourse.com. Get the free course. That would be your next action. If you’ve been listening to the podcast forever, maybe now is the time for you to join us the next time we open the doors. So you want to be thinking about that. It doesn’t always feel positive, great, certain, any of those feelings when we’re in the possibility phase, but we are building belief.
Corinne Crabtree:
The next phase that we go into is called the probable phase. In the probable phase you start trying some stuff. You see yourself do a few things that you didn’t think you could do. Maybe you lose your first five pounds. Maybe you thought that you could never be someone that ate fruit after dinner instead of ice cream. You’re like one night you try it, and you’re like, “Oh, wow, that was not half as bad as I’ve been thinking it was. I might have fruit again tomorrow night to see how this goes.”
Corinne Crabtree:
You might be someone who always if you’re like me, always went to IHOP. I ordered an omelet, pancakes, syrup and butter. I remember one day ordering no butter. And then the next time I went I didn’t even put syrup on them. I was like, “Damn, this IHOP pancake is awful sweet. I didn’t even need the syrup all this time. I had no clue. I should have just tried a bite without any syrup on it ages ago.” And next thing I knew I was hitting the probable phase. I was like, “I’m making so many good changes. I am starting to see myself do shit that just even a few weeks ago I was talking like that couldn’t even happen. I noticed all of this seems easier.” Your brain starts transitioning.
Corinne Crabtree:
You collect enough little successes and little wins to start overriding a lot of the old doubts and insecurities. Doesn’t mean they all go away, but some of the early ones start to quiet down because things aren’t as bad as you thought it would be. Stuff starts seeming a little easier. Wins start collecting. And then your brain starts going relaxing into doing things. There’s a sense of ease starting to happen. You notice you’re just doing stuff now without having to think so hard about it. And you notice your brain start thinking, “I might be able to do this.” That’s the probable phase of belief, but even in probable we still are talking smack to ourselves sometimes so nothing goes wrong if your brain is like, “Yeah, but what if you don’t lose weight next week?” Your brain will still have whispers of doubts and stuff coming up around a lot of things, but as long as you keep focused on doing the little things, collecting the little wins, and stuff, a lot of the tension starts easing.
Corinne Crabtree:
Then the last thing that happens is the positive phase takes over. So the more wins you’re collecting for yourself, the more you’re talking to yourself in a new way. We talked in the last podcast like, “Oh, yeah, that’s old self talking. My new self talks this way about stuff.” You start noticing that you’re starting to get certain that you’re going to lose weight that you would almost bet you’re going to get there more than you would bet that you won’t. And I watch my clients go through this all the time. They stay in the probable phase for a while. Then all of a sudden it’s just like a light bulb comes on. They make a post in the Facebook group and they’re just like “I can’t believe how much I’ve accomplished. I just know I’m going to do it this time.” And it’s not because of what they’ve accomplished. It’s because they’re noticing their accomplishments. It’s because we’re teaching them how to identify what’s working. We’re teaching them how to speak more positively to themselves. We’re teaching them how to catch old thinking and shift it into something new.
Corinne Crabtree:
And then they’d wake up one day and they’re just like, “I’m really going to do this. This is going to happen.” And then they keep going. Their routines start feeling great. They love their new habits. They’d rather have their new habits than what their old habits were that they swore to God they could never let go of. And they just don’t feel like losing weight is work anymore, and it’s not stressing them out because they’ve been working on believing. They’ve been going through the phases, paying attention to all the things that their brain has been offering, and talking in a new way that doesn’t stress them out all the time. The reason why I tell you this is because that is how the phases of belief work for weight loss. And then something happens. You hit your goal, and it doesn’t feel as great as you thought. You’re proud. You really believe like, “Woo. I’m a weight loss success story. Look at me, blah, blah, blah.” But when we think about being a maintainer, guess what happens everybody? We start back at impossible.
Kathy Hartman:
Phase one.
Corinne Crabtree:
Phase one starts all over again.
Kathy Hartman:
Phase one.
Corinne Crabtree:
That is why it is important when you lose weight that you have a comprehensive program. Most diets make maintenance about like, “Well, now let’s do the step-down. Let’s start reintroducing foods.” They don’t introduce you to the new mindset that you’re going to need to keep your weight off. So it’s really important that you understand, “Oh, when I hit maintenance it’s supposed to feel impossible. My brain is supposed to think I’ve never done this before. This is uncharted territory. What if I fuck it all up?” Because I watch people tragically do this. The way they’ve maintained weight is they diet the rest of their life. They stay in diet mode. They overwatch every little bite that they put into their mouth. They overthink things by thinking like, “Can I have this? Is this good? Is this bad? Is this breaking a rule? Is the scale going to go up tomorrow?”
Corinne Crabtree:
And if the scale goes up tomorrow, sometimes it’s not even the food. Sometimes it’s just hormones, but they attribute it to them being like, “See, I can’t do anything without my weight going up.” They freak out and they’re supposed to hit impossible again. And they don’t have someone guiding them through these phases because in maintenance you have to, again, cross over from impossible and train your brain why it is possible that you’ll be able to keep your weight off. And then you have to start doing the things in maintenance that are different.
Corinne Crabtree:
In maintenance, we have to do so much talking differently to ourselves. We have to shut down judgment of our body. “We’re here, bitch. You have lost the weight. This is the body. Time to fall in love because ain’t no more weight going to make you love it anymore than you love it right now.” And that is the thing. I mean I don’t want y’all to lose weight in order to love your body. That is why in No BS we teach you to start loving yourself from day one, but I promise all of you, I watch this happen. Most women hang on to the belief that they’re going to hit some weight and number, and then suddenly, oh, this is when self-acceptance and love and adoration for my body.
Kathy Hartman:
Magically rains down upon us.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah, it doesn’t rain at all. Nobody’s making it rain. That strip club is closed. It’s just not happening. And so we try to keep dieting to find that love when the answer has been staring us in the face. One of the things that is a big key component of maintenance is truly learning how to be like, “This body. This is the one I’ve worked for. We are a couple to the end of time. I cannot be at war with you anymore. And now it’s time to make peace and to love ourselves.”
Corinne Crabtree:
And so you move into the probable phase that I will be able to keep my weight off. You start seeing things normalize. You start noticing that your weight is stabilizing. You learn how to release needing the scale to go down to feel good about yourself. It’s another thing that happens inside of maintenance. No matter how much, it’s really hard to teach people to put no stock into the scale because as you’re losing weight it is a tool to understand if your behaviors and stuff are equal in your weight going down, but your brain does get a hit of satisfaction like, “Oh, look, it’s working.” It’s just natural. It’s as natural as drinking water to have those associations.
Corinne Crabtree:
And then your brain gets very addicted to only feeling good when the scale goes down. And when you hit maintenance you no longer get that hit. And if you haven’t learned how to give yourself hits in other ways about your life now you have a void of something that feels good. You’re left without it. It’s like going hungry. And so there’s all these things we have to learn. So you’ll be in the probable phase again. And then after a while of being there and learning all this stuff you start noticing it’s like, “I really think this is the time. I feel pretty positive that I am keeping the weight off this time.” So it’s just important to understand that there are phases to your belief. So many of us want to start day one in full head-on belief and it doesn’t work that way. I will also tell you this, too. Sometimes you can go backward in your belief.
Kathy Hartman:
I was going to ask that question. Thank you for addressing that.
Corinne Crabtree:
Do you have any thoughts about it before I talk about it, or you just want my wisdom?
Kathy Hartman:
Only that I was just going to note that it’s normal to move between the phases, and how important it is to recognize that because you’re not going to hit the positive phase and stay there for the rest of your life. Something might come in, scale drama, or mama has brought you a pumpkin pie, or something like that, and you’re going to drop down to probable. This is probably going to happen, but a little shaky belief. I’d love for you to talk just for a minute about moving between the phases because I think that’s important.
Corinne Crabtree:
I think a lot of people what they do is they lose some belief, and then they think something drastic has gone wrong because I don’t feel as good as I did. The only thing that’s gone wrong, and I actually coached on this, this past Sunday. I was actually working with someone who she has been trying to lose this last eight pounds forever, like for six months, and she’s been talking to herself like a dick the whole time. And she was just like, “I know it’s my thoughts.” And I said, “I don’t think it’s your thoughts. I think what’s happening is you are making your thoughts a villain, and you’re giving them so much power that you’re forgetting that anytime that you are thinking shitty things like I don’t know if I can do it. I’ve lost all my mojo.” When you’re thinking those things, she totally forgot that she was actually the adult in the room with the thoughts.
Corinne Crabtree:
I just told her, I was like, “You know you don’t have to keep thinking those things. You do know that when those thoughts come up instead of feeling sorry for yourself that this is where you’re at, you also could tell yourself, here’s the reasons why I’m going to keep going. Here are the things that I do know how to do. Here are the things I’m going to look at and start trying.” I was like, “You just need to come in and use those thoughts as triggers to understanding right now I am just having some automatic negative thinking.” So this is what happens for all of you. This is probably high-level for podcast listeners.
Corinne Crabtree:
If you’re a No BS woman, you’re going to be able to follow along pretty well because we talk about all of this inside the membership. We talk so much about belief. I teach on it every single week. There’s no shortage of me talking about how the brain works, how our thoughts work, and how that process works because that’s the only way anybody ever loses weight. The four basics are the tools. Everything else is how we make sure that we’re using the tools because I can give you tools all day long, but you got to want to use them. You got to make yourself use them sometimes. You got to understand why you don’t use them sometimes and how to stop doing that. It’s all about your brain.
Corinne Crabtree:
So, anyway, we were just talking about it and I was like, “We are always going to have situations come up in our life where our old thinking will want to come back.” The way that the habit brain works this is the part of your brain that sends up just bullshit all the time. You have two parts of your brain. The habit brain just has basic commands just like a computer. If this happens, send this thought. If you smell this, send this thought. If she has this emotion, send this command.
Kathy Hartman:
I love that analogy.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah, like it’s this, then that. That’s all the habit brain does. It don’t give a fuck about your dreams. It don’t care about your emotional state. It’s not sitting there going like, it don’t have your welfare in mind. The only thing it knows to do is to send you commands. And most of the time, the only thing it cares about when it comes to welfare is I need to keep your ass safe. So anything that you think is threatening or dangerous, like somebody’s opinion. It used to be really great. The habit brain was so useful back in the day, when it would caution us to like, “You see that bush shaking over there. Don’t go check that. There’s probably an animal in it.” The brain needed to always be like, “Something bad is happening.”
Kathy Hartman:
Yeah, on alert for all the danger.
Corinne Crabtree:
Walk away, bitch. Walk away.
Kathy Hartman:
Right.
Corinne Crabtree:
Now it’s like you go to the grocery store some grandpa looks at you and your brain is like, “Oh, my God, he thinks I’m too big for the aisle. He doesn’t like my dress.” And your brain is like, “Get out of the grocery store. Never go back.” That ain’t no bush with an animal in it, but our brain has not modernized. We have to on purpose modernize it. So it’s always over-indexing fear and false fear. 99% of what we think about is false fear now. Real fear is life-threatening. I coached someone this weekend in the hospital. She literally got on the coaching call from her hospital bed.
Kathy Hartman:
I heard about this.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yes.
Kathy Hartman:
That’s incredible.
Corinne Crabtree:
She was recovering from she had had a double mastectomy and they had also given her reconstructive surgery at the same time. She couldn’t get out until the last drain was draining. She’s scared shit. She was like, “I don’t want to spend another night in the hospital.” Her little boy was at home and she was just worried about him. I was like, “Yes, let’s talk about fear because it’s legit. You’re laying in a hospital bed with drains. We can talk about it.”
Corinne Crabtree:
But most of the time I get people who are like, “I’m just afraid to keep chips in the house.” Them chips ain’t got no butcher knife. What are you talking about? We have to watch out for faux fear versus realistic fear, but this is the habit brain in action. If you see chips in the house, then tell her go eat all of them because we never know when we’ll get them again like that’s the overcorrection that our brain does. The reason why I’m explaining all this is because your brain has a lot of old trip-wires. All of you who are listening to my podcast are probably at least above the age of 22. I don’t usually have youngins listening, but for those of you who are youngins, you probably can skip that.
Kathy Hartman:
Because of that E.
Corinne Crabtree:
Do what?
Kathy Hartman:
Because that E. That E.
Corinne Crabtree:
What’s the E? Oh, the explicit. That is not why. I got plenty of mamas who write to me all the time. They’re like, “Girl, you ain’t saying nothing I don’t say out loud in my car.”
Kathy Hartman:
While I’m driving.
Corinne Crabtree:
I read an Instagram meme that said, “Some people,” I forget how they raised their parents, but it’s like, “I run mine like a pirate ship. There’s usually some drinking, a lot of cussing, and every now and then people are having mutiny.” I’m just like, “That’s pretty much my family, too.”
Kathy Hartman:
That’s awesome.
Corinne Crabtree:
So your other side of your brain, the reasoning brain, this is the one that has your welfare in mind. It’s like, “How do you want to feel today, Corinne? What are your dreams and aspirations?” It’s sitting around doing math. It’s just sitting there doing all the sexy things, the fun things. The problem with the reasoning brain is it’s an introvert. Your habit brain is the extrovert so it’s always at the party. It’s everywhere you go. It’s always got something to say. And it does not know how to shut up. Your reasoning brain is the introvert hiding in the corner, afraid to say something, don’t want to talk to you about your dreams. The only time it wants to talk to you is if you’ll go off into the corner and have a private conversation with it, that’s when the introvert wants to start talking.
Corinne Crabtree:
So what we have is our habit brain. It’s got thousands and thousands of commands. The older you get, the more commands that it has stored up. It’s always sitting there going like, “What did you do yesterday? All right. I’m putting that into the storage closet so that in the event anything remotely familiar happens I’m going to send up a command to do that again.” It doesn’t care if it’s helping you lose weight. It doesn’t care if it’s helping you out in your life. It just knows we have done this. We probably need to do it again. I’ve got my records. We go through life in the four phases. The reason why we slide around between them it’s not backsliding. I just want you to think about you’re just sliding in between them in and out. Your job is just to navigate them, but what happens is randomly something will happen.
Corinne Crabtree:
I was coaching someone this weekend who has lost, she’s lost about 30-ish pounds now. She’s in two teams, and she hasn’t benched in a long time. And she hasn’t really hardly emotionally ate. Went on vacation. And last year when we were working together, when she’d go on vacations, if she was alone in the hotel room and there was a mini bar and she didn’t have any work to do she was relaxed, all of a sudden, basically, the mini bar sprouted a couple of pairs of lips and says, “Come eat me, all of me.” And she would eat. Well, it hasn’t happened in so long she just didn’t even think about this being a problem. Right now she feels like she’s in the positive phase. She is like, “I have got this. I am rocking and rolling. I have lost over 30 pounds. I just feel really good.”
Corinne Crabtree:
Goes on this vacation. Next thing she knows she’s alone in her room, chilled out relaxed with a mini bar, and she’s eating food, and we were talking about it. And I said, “Yeah, that’s normal. And she’s like, “What do you mean that’s normal?” Because she was like, “This is probably going to be a big problem. I had no idea this would ever happen to me again, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” And I explained how the brain worked. And I said, “You were just in a situation that in the past that’s how you acted because we didn’t necessarily plan for it. Your brain accessed what it knew, how you have acted in the past. And it just all happened fast.”
Corinne Crabtree:
And I was like, “We’ll just plan for that for next time. We just know that’s going to be a trigger and a queue. And now what we do is next time we go in knowing, oh, yeah, I just want to watch for mini bars and stuff because the last time I was here it just happened fast. That doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with me. It just meant that my habit brain spoke up before my reasoning brain could even enter the room.” And I told her, I was like, “The good news is that she realized what she was doing about halfway through. And she just asked herself, have I had enough?” And she’s like, “I’ve had more than enough so I know I can stop.” And she just closed it all down. And then she reached out and was like, “I just want to talk about it.”
Corinne Crabtree:
And so for her, before she and I talked, she had slid back into the probable phase. When we were talking about it she was like now she had some doubts. “Is this a signal that I’ve been doing so good, and maybe I’m getting too relaxed? Maybe I’m not paying close enough attention.” I said, “No, this just means that your habit brain was functioning like it’s supposed to. It sent up an old command. You didn’t necessarily hear it. And so what we want to do is we just want to understand that sometimes our habit brain is going to send up if you see a mini fridge, and you feel relaxed, and you are alone then tell her she should eat those foods, especially, if she’s having weight loss success right now. And that’s all that happened.” Go ahead. Excuse me.
Kathy Hartman:
I love that. For the listeners who are not No BS members, Corinne talks about this a lot in her core course, the No BS Weight Loss Course. In module three, she goes into a lot of this. I think that’s where I first really heard and learned and understood that my brain was acting normally, that it was doing exactly what I taught it to do. And when I realized that just like what you were just saying, I wrote it down, functioning like it’s supposed to. I felt so much more self-compassion. I felt like I wasn’t broken. It wasn’t something that I could never recover from. It’s just the way my brain works, and it’s working normally, and the way it’s supposed to work. I don’t know, that lesson was so pivotal for me. So I hope everyone hears that. And I hope all the No BS women, every one of you go back to module three and listen to that because it’s so, so good.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. And I think that is important because if you think about the reason why so many of us quit trying to lose weight is because we feel very isolated, very lonely, and like we are the only ones that struggle this way. I told myself that story. It’s obvious that we’re not the only ones that struggle this way. And yet we do that. I think that’s one of the reasons why I love our community because you get to be around a lot of people who are normalizing and solving for these issues. And we’re talking about it in such a way like this is not a big deal. This is just how we solve it. These are the things that I do. These are the things that I think when these things happen. Most of the time what we’re doing is we’re either talking to no one, and so the only person we’re talking to is that ratchet habit brain of ours, it’s just sitting here like, “Whoa, we’re never going to lose weight. You suck.” It has nothing good to say.
Kathy Hartman:
Watch out for those potato chips with the butcher knife.
Corinne Crabtree:
Right, who’s over hanging out with them, or we’re sitting around talking to a bunch of our girlfriends who are as equally bitching, moaning, and agreeing that we’re all broken. It’s like, y’all, you got to quit talking. You cannot hang out with women who are going to sit there and act like, my clients love it when I say this, that we all need our fainting couch because we’re just like, “Whoa is me. I can’t lose the weight.” And we’re all sitting around like that. It’s like shut y’all.
Corinne Crabtree:
We are stronger, and we are better than this. We do not need to sit around and commiserate in a kumbaya of why we suck, why we are broken. We are not broken. We are conditioned. We are taught a lot of things. Our brain works in a certain way. And when you understand a lot of that stuff, that sense of relief comes over you like, “Oh, so I can quit judging myself so harshly for all this and get to work on doing some stuff that makes sense, and that will work.” But if you stay in that judgment mode you’re going to stay in impossible phase, or slide over into Kathy’s no man’s land.
Kathy Hartman:
No man’s land. That’s where I was accept my reality phase.
Corinne Crabtree:
Exactly. Maybe we should add that as phase one is like.
Kathy Hartman:
Phase zero.
Corinne Crabtree:
Right. It’s like, “Reality has sunk in. It’s not happening. Ugh.”
Kathy Hartman:
You bring up a good point. Let me say this real quick.
Corinne Crabtree:
Get it in, Kathy.
Kathy Hartman:
All right. You bring up a really good point, though, about sitting around with your friends moaning and groaning about how hard it is to lose weight. We don’t act like that in our community.
Corinne Crabtree:
No.
Kathy Hartman:
That’s such a big missing piece in a lot of weight loss programs is the thousands of people that we have that are there to go, “Oh, no, that’s just your habit brain. Do this now. Think this. Here’s what I do when this happens.” The support that you get, and in our community when you realize you’re not alone, man, it’s everything. It is everything. I don’t know that I could have done this 80 pounds without the community, without the support, without the love. I just don’t know that I could have. Maybe I could have, I don’t know, but that community was a huge part of it for me.
Corinne Crabtree:
Well, I will tell you something that’s interesting. I actually talk about this in this new maintenance course for everyone is I do believe in the power of community. When I lost weight, I always think it was amazing that I could do it alone.
Kathy Hartman:
Yes. 100%.
Corinne Crabtree:
I think about this all the time. It’s like, “How the fuck?” Because it’s not easy because it required me to think. I just didn’t have anybody to talk to about what was going on for me. I do think that even though I’ve been able to maintain my weight, I think that was one of the reasons why transitioning into maintenance for me it was hard for a while because I didn’t know that I was doing all this stuff, but I was doing it solo, but when I lost my weight, I really think that I created No BS for myself first.
Corinne Crabtree:
There was something in me telling me if you’re going to keep your weight off not only do you need to pay it forward, I have got to teach other women how to do this, but through teaching it and then surrounding myself with people who were now going to think differently, not think like Corinne, but that I was going to be able to teach this is what shifted for me. And I know that it can shift for you. And when we were all talking about it, that was when I felt like I was able to transition to being like, “I will never deal with this ever again.”
Corinne Crabtree:
I set my life up to make sure that I was always around people who were talking in a way about their life where we were focused on who we were going to be, our future, how we’re solving things, how to support each other, how to be compassionate. I think about it all the time that I created the very community that I always wish I’d had. When I look back on school and things like that I just didn’t have people, and rather than sitting around and hating that I didn’t have it just went out and made it. And now that I think that’s what I would love to tell all of you is you don’t have to go out and make a community. Trust me, you don’t have to work as hard as I’ve had to do this, but it is powerful. It is helpful. I watch so many of our people talk about like, “I just can’t leave this place. It’s where my friends are. It’s the one place in Facebook that I can go that’s not a shit show.”
Kathy Hartman:
We work really hard to make sure the community is supportive, but it’s like you teach your kids when they’re teenagers, make sure you surround yourself with friends that you’re going to be proud to be with. Pick your friends wisely. It’s the same concept when you’re trying to lose weight. Pick your friends wisely. They’re not the ones who are slapping potato chips out of your hand. They’re the ones who are there when you ate too many potato chips to help you figure out the next step, or they’re the ones to help you get over the fact that you want potato chips so bad. It’s just a whole different ballgame when you pick the right people to make your weight loss journey with.
Corinne Crabtree:
All right, everybody. That’s our double episode on belief. I hope this was helpful for you. Please, if you listened to this, and it was helpful, share it on social, and use hashtag #nobswomen. You can also tag me. You can tag Kathy. What’s your Instagram?
Kathy Hartman:
Coach_kathyhartman. Kathy with a K, Hartman.
Corinne Crabtree:
And then mine is just corinne_crabtree. Tag us and let us know what you think, how it was helpful. We want to make sure that we get the word out to more people that the weight loss industry is getting ready to change big time, and that’s because No BS is going to change it. All right, everybody, y’all have a good week.
Corinne Crabtree:
Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to nobsfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts to help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.
