Hello everyone. I’m Corinne Crabtree. I’m the host of the Losing 100 Pounds Podcast and I am the founder and CEO of the No BS Weightloss Program. Today is a Q&A call all on weight loss. I lost a hundred pounds, I’ve kept it off for 15 years, and now I’ve taught thousands of women how to do the same. So if you’re joining me for the replay and you’ve never heard of me, you can go to nobsfreecourse.com. You can take my free weight loss course. All I need is your email address, and then I will send you some videos on how to lose weight and get started without bullshit diet drama, standing in your way. And what’s that means is that the way that I teach weight loss is a little different than the diet industry. I like to teach weight loss in the way of what truly gets in our way.
So most of the time when you start a diet, you’re going to be given like a food list and here’s how much, here’s what you can and can’t eat, and here’s how many calories you can have, and here’s the best of the macros. And then what ends up happening is that over time you have a hodgepodge collection of bullshit that you’ve been told you can and cannot do. And then often all of that crap conflicts each other and then you sit around for another 10 to 20 years of your life spiraling and not knowing what you should eat, what you shouldn’t eat. It’s just stressful and it’s not needed. So if you take my free course, you’re just going to learn like three basic steps. The way that I think about weight loss is it’s just common sense. Don’t eat when you’re fucking hungry. But you have to learn how not to do that.
The diets what they do is they don’t teach you how not to do that. They say you can only eat these things, but if you are not hungry and you’re having a stressful day, it won’t matter what the hell your list says to do. It won’t matter how many calories they’ve given you. If you eat because you’re stressed out, overwhelmed, tired, bored, lonely, need to celebrate, it’s the weekend. If you don’t learn how to not eat because of those reasons. No stupid diet that anybody ever fucking gives you. Like weight watchers in their brand new program, they just rolled out keto and all of its restrictions and all the others, there’s thousands of them. None of them will work in the face of an emotionally awful day. On a vacation where all you want to do is fucking relax and you don’t know how without food.
So I teach the stuff that really stands in the weight of weight loss, and if you want to learn those things, go to no nobsfreecourse.com or you can listen to my podcast Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne.
Okay, so here we are. We going to do questions today, which means number one, you can ask a question. I just all I want you to do is use #ask when you ask in the comments so that my team can get me the questions. The other thing that everybody needs to be on the watch out for is I cuss a lot. So here’s the rule. If you don’t like cussing, now is the time to leave. It is not the time to put bullshit comments in the thing about, eh, you need so much more lady like, ugh, why you got to cuss so much? I don’t give a about that opinion.
You know why? A long time ago I decided this is who I am and I am here for all the people that want this. For all people who don’t want this, there are other things you can go listen to for fucking free. You do not need to. This is not like the airport where you got to announce your damn departure. So we’re going to cuss, we going to drink water when I cuss, we going to ask questions, we going to get it done today. And then for the rest of you, make sure if you have friends that could hear this, please tag them. If you don’t mind how I get up and everybody’s grill, feel free to share this on your social media.
All right, let’s rock and roll. Let’s see what we got here. Hey, Jen, Nab, Cancer Free. I’m so happy to read that. I don’t even get to read many comments, but I just saw this. I’m so proud of you. Use your thought work processes to get through cancer and you know all of us at No BS. We love you. So all right, let me get to my screen where the questions are going to come in and I will get to answering them. Hang on a second, I got to get to the right place. Hold on. I’m sure it’s in here somewhere.
If my team is here, please post somewhere in the Slack channel where the questions are going to come in, if you don’t mind. So my issue is sticking with my commitment. Help. Okay, so commitment is one of those weird things that you, Well, let’s put it this way. We all have to have some commitment. So if you’re having a hard time committing to your plan, so the way that I teach weight loss is you are going to, every single day we’re going to write what we call a doable plan.
A doable plan simply means this. You are going to write down on any sheet of paper that you have, if you are one of my members, included in your membership is the 30 day food planner where I ask you the mindset questions. You can plan your day, you can assess your food. It’s a quick and simple like five minute way to kind of get yourself organized around your food. But for the rest of us who have somehow missed the invitation that they should be a No BS woman, I’ll make it simple for you. Piece of paper, you’re going to write breakfast, lunch, and dinner on it, and then an S for whatever snacks. You’re going to create what’s called a doable plan, which is not what the diet industry teaches you. The diet industry teaches you a restrictive plan, a do and don’t plan. They teach you a hard ass plan.
They give you all the things that somehow you convince yourself this is what I have to do in order to lose weight. It’s not true. What you eat is not nearly as important as being intentional while you eat. I have never met anyone who’s overweight because of Oreos or bread or any of those things. Here’s why we’re overweight. When we eat bread and Oreos, we eat our fucking face off because we’ve been told they’re bad for us. And so if we eat one bite, like say you have a sandwich, your brain categorizes that as warning you’ve been bad. And it makes it like it’s not just a sandwich, it catastrophizes the sandwich. It’s basically whispering to you. You might as well have ate 10 of them. You are going to gain weight and you have been a bad girl. That’s what your brain is actually signaling.
So when it thinks that you’ve just fucking blown it because you ate a sandwich, then we spend the rest of the day eating our fucking face off. So how does this play to commitment? The majority of the time, what I’m watching y’all do when it comes to commitment is you’re trying to commit to shit that’s scaring the out of you.
So inside my membership, I teach this concept where most of us stay inside of our comfort zone. So our comfort zone is not starting things, just eating what we always do, resorting back to restrictive diets, thinking that’s the only thing that’s going to work. Then when we decide that we are going to try to lose weight, most of the time we go to what’s called the scared shitless zone, which means I’m going to over correct, I’m going to do things that I can’t see myself doing for the rest of my life, but I’m going to do it because that’s what it requires to lose weight.
When we’re in the scared shitless zone, we can’t tolerate any mistakes. The scared shitless zone requires you to be doing things that are so super hard that you haven’t even built up yet. The belief you can do it, you haven’t given yourself any momentum yet. You haven’t created any kind of calm in you like, Oh, I could do this.
So Beverly, no, I do not clean up my language. If you have a family at home and you want to do my program, there’s these magic, I don’t have them here. There’s these magic things called earbuds. I have tons of people that listen to my all the time. I’m going to say it one more time. I’m not cleaning up my language for anybody. I just don’t believe that I should have to change to accommodate other people’s lives. Just like I teach my members, I don’t want you changing who you are and you for anyone else either.
That’s the problem with this world. We’re all trying to accommodate other people instead of just showing up who the we are with pride and then finding the people that want it. Okay, so back to commitment. So if you’re in the scared shitless zone, you haven’t built up your resilience, you haven’t built up a lot of things, we want to get what’s called just outside the bubble of the comfort zone, which means we’re putting our toe in the water of hard, like the toe, not up to your knees, not up to your tits, but your toe, which for a lot of you is very hard to do because you’re conditioned by diets to do all the things. The way I teach it is we’re going to start with what we call the doable things, which means you’re going to plan foods you like to eat, and we’re going to start with just getting used to not eating when we’re not hungry.
And it’s going to take us a while to get used to it because we haven’t always done that all of our lives. And then we’re going to get used to eating until we’ve had enough, but we’re still eating the things that we like. Now that sounds amazing to all of you. This is what’s crazy, my four basic steps to lose weight, sound amazing. And they’re like, Well, that’s easy. Like God, that’s so easy to understand and it feels refreshing. Like when you hear it, you’re just like, alright, finally somebody with some common sense.
But here’s the problem. Your brain is between you and common sense, and here’s what your brain does. The moment it’s time to eat, maybe you sat every night I am for fuck sure now having three or four Oreos, this is what I am doing. Chris has told me food freedom can be mine and all I got to do is eat intentionally.
When it’s time for Oreos, here’s your brain. Oh my god, that’s not good enough. You’re never going to lose weight if you’re planning foods you love, your brain now throws a bitch fit. Now your brain is wrong. It’s been told the wrong things, but that doesn’t make it not feel real. That is why we have to work on our brain more than we obsess over the foods that we’re putting in our mouth because I can even tell you simple things that require no math. They require a sheet of paper. They require you to just pay attention. And then in the moment when it’s like, I’m not supposed to finish everything on my plate, my body is suddenly saying, Hey, I’ve had enough food, I don’t need anymore. And then your brain goes, But it tastes so good. You worked so hard to prepare this meal after a long day and when we’re done eating, you know you’ve got laundry and one of them little needy ass kids of yours is probably going to want to do some homework, read a story.
When do you get a break? You girl, you never get a break. So let’s finish the potatoes on the plate. Your brain makes it sound like whatever’s left on your plate is your savior, is the thing that’s going to change your life. You are so downtrodden, you have so much responsibility, eating the rest of these potatoes is for sure what’s going to solve all your ales? And then we’re like, Yeah, we should eat. This is why we don’t feel committed in the moment. Most of us, we have to build up our commitment. I don’t want any of you feeling broken or something’s wrong with you because you can’t stick to things or because things aren’t going perfectly. You have so much mental drama around food that you don’t even know you have yet.
And so in that moment when it’s time to commit, this is not a you problem. You’ve just not been taught how to structure everything to lose weight in a way that makes it a little bit easier in that moment to be there for yourself. No one’s taught you how to hear all of those voices and have another conversation that’s more compassionate, a reasonable conversation. Those are the things that I teach.
The easiest tip I have on how to strengthen commitment is this, when you start things, make sure that these are the things that you feel really good that you could do today. Stay in today. Don’t think about what that might be like in 10 years or in a year. Will this help me lose weight at my end goal? Start with what you can do today. When I got started, I was over 250 pounds. I’d never been thin a day in my life except for when I was born. And that shit don’t count. Nobody likes thin babies, everybody wants some chubby babies. So I basically came out of the room with a body that was always wrong.
And one of the things that I realized on day one when I decided to lose weight was that I could no longer set myself up to fail. That I was going to have to deal with the version of me that thought things weren’t good enough. It was like you got two choices, Corinne, you can keep picking asshole diets that challenge you so hard that you always fail on because you just can’t switch on a dime. It’s not teaching you how to deal with your bad days. And I was in a bad place when I got started. I was a year into postpartum crying my eyes out every day, eating myself into an early grave and almost at the point where I couldn’t even play with my own child anymore. So I get it. I know what it’s like to be at your absolute lowest in your life.
And then I was like, or you can deal with every day thinking that what you’re not doing is not good enough, but also rationally knowing what’s truly not good enough is sitting on your ass every day and doing nothing. I knew that I had to get in motion and I also knew that if I took too much action that I was likely to quit on myself. So I just had to pick my pain. Did I want the pain of thinking this wasn’t good enough, but knowing I was actually doing some things that one day would add up or did I want the pain of trying to start asshole diets that I for sure were going to flame out on every single time? So I just decided to choose my pain. I would rather convince myself that every step is a step in the right direction than to punish myself another day. That’s how we build up some commitment.
All right, I’ve been a member since September, loving it, but struggling with late night eating still. Okay, so we have some calls whoever this member is, we do have some calls on late night eating. So if you will go to the replace section and look for some of the coaching calls that I have done on people who are eating at night. Now, one of the things that the reason why we struggle so much with eating at night is we don’t know how to comfort ourselves in any way other than food. So if you think about it, when it is nighttime, if the best you have is eating and you’ve never offered yourself any other relief, then when you take away the food, you’re just left with your stressful thinking, you’re just left with your judgment of yourself, you’re just left with all of that.
So if we don’t have something that allows us to learn how to comfort ourselves, that allows us to relax. And when I say something, I mean some thinking, then yeah, you’ll keep going back to food because that’s the only thing that your brain knows. Another thing that you can look, so if you go to, I believe in Urges 2.0, we talk about nighttime eating in there, for my team, I know Chris is here, if you will make sure that you tell the community team in Facebook to post links like say give the membership our three best coaching calls on nighttime eating and put them in our main Facebook group. That way everyone in the membership can benefit. That will link us back to our private website where all the information is store.
The only thing we really do in Facebook for all of you is it’s community. It’s an easy way to answer questions like this because this is where our people check in when they’re just wanting to talk to each other. So we’ll post those links for you, but for everybody, just understand all of our content is always kept in a private member website because we don’t want our members to feel like they have to have a Facebook account.
Okay, let’s see, as a nurse, lunch breaks are rare, but not having a chance to eat lunch makes me absolutely ravenous by the end of the day, any tips? I would eat a bigger breakfast before your shift starts. Number one, something that can carry you through. So if you know that you’re going to not be able to eat, that’s one thing. Another thing is packing a snack that’s like a tag me over so that you can blunt some of the ravenous hunger by the time you get home. So if you can eat on the way home, I would have something prepared that you mentally plan for because what you want to do is you want to eat enough to knock off the hunger and I would do that right as I was getting in my car so that you have the rest of the drive because this is the part that’s most important for you to hear.
You want to eat something to calm your physical body down, that it actually has some nutrients in it so that your body’s not freaking out that it’s starving. Otherwise you won’t be able to manage your mind. Then after you eat from that point on the way home, your job is to tell yourself, I’ve taken care of my physical needs of hunger. Now I can eat a regular dinner. Given myself the gift of being able to be present when I eat dinner, to be able to monitor how my body feels. But you’re going to need to talk like that to yourself otherwise this is what we do. Remember we talked about our brain is just going to be lit on fire where it normally thinks. Here’s your brain. Oh my god, you haven’t ate all day. You know, always eat when you’re extra hungry.
So when your brain will say when you’re extra hungry, you always eat, you’re going to say, I’m not extra hungry anymore. I’ve already given myself a snack, I’ve already taken care of that piece. Then your brain’s going to be like, Yeah, but because you skipped so many meals, you deserve it. You could have this, you could have that. Your brain just is like, Woo, let’s just sweet out that ass, run into some good stuff. When you hear that part, then you are to come in again and say, we don’t get treats like a dog for good behavior. There’s no honor in skipping meals. Just because my work schedule is busy, it doesn’t mean I get treats, it just means I’m learning how to take care of myself. I’m planning for this snack. A real treat is honoring my commitments. Waking up proud each day, feeling in control over food.
That’s a real treat. So the lesson here is we’ll take care of our physical needs, but you have to remind yourself that you did that. And then when your brain is offering up the bullshittery, your job is to come in with the other side of you who talks calmly, who’s the voice of reason and the best way for the voice of reason brain to be able to come online is for you to take away the urgency and the ravenous part of being hungry.
Your brain is probably sending all this up because it does think it’s starving, it’s not. But if you’re routinely having to miss meals when you know you need to eat, your brain will be like, we have a problem here. So we want to solve that problem.
Can you eat too little? I’m not hungry that much and I don’t exercise any suggestions. I mean you possibly can, but most of us don’t. Most of us don’t need near as much food as we think we do. We have been conditioned to a certain level of food. So if you think about when you go to restaurants, restaurants over serve, they just do and they do that to get you to where… now I’m going to say this during inflation times, but it’s still kind of true. The way that restaurants scale prices. They pay so little for certain foods, they can jack your plate full of food so that they can charge you more knowing what their cost is on the backside. But it teaches you like this is what a portion is. The day we started supersizing, king sizing, I want you to think about food in general. The messaging to us is large volumes of food is great. All you can eat my face.
It makes us think that when we eat normally that we may be under eating. Sometimes you can under eat. I am not saying that there are not people out there with eating disorders. I am not saying any of that. But what I most of the time see is an overreaction to what our body needs versus what we’ve been trained all of our lives to believe and see with food.
Took the free course. But I still can’t comprehend how I can lose weight without monitoring calories. Here’s my clarifying question. How many times have you monitored calories? It still ate your face off because you were tired, stress bored or on vacation? There’s your answer. You’ve never needed to monitor calories. You’ve needed to monitor your brain and the reasons why you’re eating. When we monitor that, we don’t have a problem.
Most of us don’t want to do that though. We’re like now I’d rather just count calories. You know why I don’t want to face my crap. In the moment I don’t want to say, I don’t want to my Momma no at Thanksgiving. Like how many of you on a holiday have ate some food to be polite and your ass didn’t even like it or you weren’t hungry or it’s okay, it’s not your favorite, but clutch my pearls and pass out on the faint couch. I don’t want to piss off the host. How many times y’all done that? Did your calorie counting app help you, a no. That is why we have to unlearn stuff like that.
How many times have y’all gone to a restaurant with your said calorie counting app and everybody is ordering the apps, having the drinks or they over serve you and you’re like, But my calorie counting app says even though I want to have fun and I think I’m a loser because I can’t partake how many times your calorie counting app came and saved the day and said, Girl, I got you. You’re an amazing human being Human. They like you whether or not you’re eating or not, nobody notices as if you’re on a diet. They’re too busy doing their own thing. We’re doing a okay.
That calorie counting app has that conversation with you. But you got to learn to do that or you going to keep going out to eat with your calorie counting app. I’m saying like, fuck this bitch, I want to have a good time. I didn’t know we were going out to eat. Screw the calorie counting app.
We have to learn how to deal with those things. No calorie counting app is ever going to save your day like that. But when you learn how to do it with your brain, you learn how to make better decisions around food, you won’t need a calorie counting app. And here’s the other thing about calorie counting apps. They trick you subtly into believing that there are good foods and bad foods.
We are not going to eat according to math. We need to eat according to what our body needs. And here’s one more thing about calorie counting apps because I hate them. I legit hate them. They think they should all be burned. So a calorie counting app, there are days where your body is wore out, you’ve had to think a lot. You’ve been on the go, there’s like it’s had energy demands put on it. And I’m not talking about exercise, I’m talking about mental fucking energy demands. You’ve been at work being a baller ass business woman all day. The kids, you have helped with the homework, you have taken care of asses, you have been potty training, you’ve been doing it all day long. You have worn your body out on those days. Sometimes your body needs more food than the calorie app says it needs and it’s asking for it.
And you’re like, No, we’re not eating. We don’t get to. So we ignore our body and we don’t give it the fuel that it needs to do life. And so then it thinks we’re starving it. So now it just starts ramping up cravings and urges and all kinds of things over the next few days. And then here’s the other thing a calorie counting app does is there’s a day you ain’t fucking hungry, you’re well rested, well hydrated, things are going fine, your body doesn’t need much food, but oh my god, I got these extra calories here. I need to eat all my calories. So on those days when our body is saying I don’t need anything, I would love to just snack on your ass and your thighs. You’ve got plenty of stored calories there, I’m good. And you’re like, No, we’re going to eat even if we’re not hungry. I don’t care if you need food or not, we’re doing it.
All the calorie counting app does is teach you how to quit listening to your body so it slows your weight loss down over time. Because if some days you’re overeating and some days you’re undereating, guess what? You weight loss will slow down. Your body won’t know what to do with all of it. So if you want the slow train to weight loss, get back on my fitness pal or whatever, lose it. Whatever the popular thing is right now, No. And they’re bullshit, they’re not helping you with your brain. They think they’re with little cute videos, but they’re not teaching you the real shit. They’re teaching you crap that you could Google and not you just paying for some Google crap in an app.
All right, can you review what is acceptable to count for water, tea, Crystal Light? Sure. I think Crystal Light’s fine. It depends on if you don’t… I got a hair on my lip. If you don’t mind like I don’t mind drinking things that I don’t care if it’s got artificial sweetener in or not. This personal choice for me, if you don’t mind, get after it. Just get your water in.
Binge eating at night, how to stop doing it? That’s more than what we can do on one of these calls. We have a program inside of our membership called Trusting Your Body that’s designed for people who are binge eating. That’s a deep cuts thing. It would be a disservice for me to try to tell you in a free Facebook Live how to stop binge eating. I can tell you this though, there is a really good podcast.
Actually, I will tell you the Instagram account that I follow if you want to look it up. I am Stefanie, S-T-E-F-A-N-I-E, Michele, M-I-C-H-E-L-E. I think she has really good content on Instagram around binge eating and explaining it and stuff. I’m not a binge eating expert. My best friend and master coach, she did our program inside of our membership and she’s a master coach, She’s also a binge eater.
So we have resources inside of our membership, but I would never want to try to help you outside of the scope of what I think… talking about your binge eating and stuff deserves the honor that it deserves so many people who binge eat, it’s the only way they know how to cope. And what I understand about binge eating, it is so much of it is about really learning how to trust yourself again, how to love yourself.
Most of the time binge eating started, it was a learned behavior because of a time in your life where you just didn’t know how to handle situations and then your brain set that into a pattern. I know it can be unwhelmed, but I just want you to know that I would follow her. I would consider joining our membership, but I just didn’t want to answer it. And you like, I don’t know, I just think it deserves more attention.
Are you going to do a retreat and do you have any details? Yes. So for all of our members, the No BS No Excuses weekend, which is our three day event, is going to be happening next July. All information is coming out in early December. We are going to have early bird pricing for everyone who wants to come virtually or in person. But all the information starts releasing in December and we’re going to do an early bird special through December 31st for all of you.
It will never be open to the public. This is a members only event just for everybody who’s here. But yeah, all the information is coming out starting in December for all of you where you can ask for the holidays if you want to. So we wanted to open it up early this year, but I can’t remember the exact dates. I think it’s the weekend after July 12th. That’s my birthday, July 12th and I believe it’s the following weekend, but all information is coming out in December, so which is just two weeks away.
Any tips for getting over the got to get my money’s worth mindset? Yeah. So here’s one. Do you want your money’s worth or do you want your weight loss? Question number one is always, would I rather have my money’s worth or would I actually rather have my weight loss? Number two, you get your money’s worth when your body has enough food.
Here’s the question I always like to ask people. Oh tell me like all that money’s worth you’re getting all that money you’re saving by over stuffing yourself. What have you saved up? What have you bought with all that money? You don’t save any money over eating. Do you know what really happens when you look at a plate and be like, Ooh, got to get my money’s worth and you overeat. You have now set you up for the next time to have to pay extra because what you’re teaching yourself is I need this amount of food so now I need to go buy extra. I’m never learning how much I actually need so that I can cut back how many fucking groceries I’m buying. So maybe I can order an appetizer instead of a full dinner.
If you really want your money’s worth, then stop overeating so you can buy less food. But if you keep overeating, you have to buy the amount of food to sustain your habit. That’s like my best tip. The last one that I always tell my people is like, are you a garbage disposal? And we just didn’t know it.
Literally so many of y’all are treating your belly like a fucking garbage can. It’s like here’s where the scraps go, here’s where all the extras go, down my disposal on into my trash can. Stop treating your body like it’s a trash can. It’s not. You’ve got one, use it. You can always wrap shit up if you like leftovers. Nobody says you can’t eat that tomorrow.
I suck at making a doable plan. I can’t seem to decide on what to eat every morning. I bet you can decide. Do you know what happens? Here’s how we would know if you can’t decide what to eat. You would go days and weeks without eating. So at some point you are making a decision. I just want you to make the decision in the morning instead of when you’re stressed out and with a ton of diet rules.
So I really want you to think about, I just can’t seem to decide. Not true. I always make a decision to eat. Otherwise I would spend weeks and weeks without eating. So I am deciding. The question is what are your thoughts around the decisions? So here’s what I would ask myself since you’re a member and you could take this to ask coaches and the coaches will coach you through this. If I was to make the plan I really wanted without any drama because I know intellectually what I want to eat, I’m probably just judging it. And that’s why it’s really hard for me to decide because I think it’s not good enough. I think it won’t help me lose weight. I think there’s no way that I could eat these foods. I’m Corinne’s special snowflake who can’t lose weight eating things that she likes. I have no special snowflakes by the way, not a single damn one of you.
If I did all that, here’s what I thinking about it. That’s why you’re having a hard time deciding. It has nothing to do with the decision is hard because you always make a decision to eat something. The gifts you give yourself is to do it ahead of time so that all we have to do each meal is focus on am I hungry before I eat it and have I had enough? That’s what we want to focus on. I’m sitting on the fence about joining. I’m in the menopause. I have an injury which causes pain, which good because we don’t exercise in my group. You won’t exercise, you go ahead. If you already in exercise you can. But exercising ain got a fucking thing to do with your weight loss.
Exercise has nothing to do with your weight loss. Period. Here’s what has something to do with your weight loss. How many times is that fork going into that mouth, that has everything to do with your weight loss.
I bloat like mad and I emotionally eat. Yes, you can lose weight with me. The whole point of joining is to quit getting pissed about having an injury. Quit getting pissed that you’re in menopause and then eating over it. Menopause and your injury is not causing your weight gain. And when you blow, that’s not even fat. That’s called water that can go away. But if you would quit emotionally eating over it, you probably ain’t going to have a problem. So you have to learn how to stop allowing those things to be important. And that’s what we teach you. If you are a No BS woman who is in the menopause and been told that you can’t lose weight at your age, it’s like, oh my god, you’re like over 50. It’s going to be hard for you.
What do y’all called the sassy 70s? We got a whole group now called the sassy 70s who’ve lost weight. If you’re one of my women who have please give this woman some hope. Because I have this strong opinion, it’s Quinn’s opinion that menopause doesn’t stop us from losing weight. What stops us from losing weight or causes our weight gain is being pissed at menopause, being frustrated at menopause, thinking we’re washed up.
Like we got to change the narrative around getting older. We got to quit thinking that we’re wilted flowers because we’re like getting older. I’m 48, I get it, I want to panic and stuff, but you know what? I refuse to eat over getting older. Here’s what intellectually I know me stuffing my face because I’m getting older. Number one doesn’t make getting older easier. Number two, well for sure prove the myth that getting older equals weight gain.
I don’t want to help it along. There’s so much we can do. I want to lose weight, but my actions do not match my intentions. I eat too many sweets. You’re not eating too many sweets, no one’s eating too many sweets unless you’re a fucking diabetic with a diagnosis. If you got a health diagnosis, then yeah, maybe. But for the rest of you, here’s what you’re doing. You’re eating sweets and reaction to thinking, I’ve had a long day, I just need something sweet to end the meal. Do you really? Like, it’s not that you’re eating too many sweets, it’s like you have a lack of tolerance for being uncomfortable sometimes. There are moments in your life where you’d rather eat than to sit with the reality of what’s happening in front of you. We got to get real clear on all of this.
How did you begin loving yourself when you were currently disappointed in how you look and feel? So this is a really good question because a lot of people have a problem with this. Women are very conditioned to place all of our self-worth on our weight and how we look and that our weight and how we look somehow erases other all the amazing things about us. We get so focused on that that we forget the rest.
So if you can’t, like for right now, love your body and love the way you look and stuff and it’s like disappointing because you think things like I’m not good enough or I’ll never look the way I want, or I should have never gotten myself into this shape to begin with, then what we do is we start with remembering there are other things about us outside of our weight and our body and it’s up to us to start seeing them.
And we’ve got to see them first because society tends to look outside first. So we are not going to wait on society to change and we’re not going to wait on the social narrative and we’re not going to wait on our partners and kids and everybody to appreciate us. We are going to do the heavy lifting of appreciating ourselves first.
So when the noise of your body is weighing on you heavily, you have to turn up the volume of things that you do like about yourself, what is right about yourself. And for some of us that’s really hard because we’ve spent so many years making ourselves terrible due to our weight that we’ve also unintentionally like I have so many moms in my group, I did this to myself for so long. I thought because I was overweight that that made me a bad mother and I conflated my weight with my mothering. I made it seem like my weight… because I was overweight, that I was also a bad wife, that I wasn’t given Chris a good wife.
That’s the messaging that we’ve heard all of our lives. So we make sense why sometimes it’s just really hard to think that we can actually love ourselves when our bodies don’t tote the narrative and we have to pull it apart because no one else is going to do it for us.
Like it started with me with telling myself things like, here are the things I’m doing right by my child. Here are the reasons why Chris loves me. My husband never made my weight an issue. Not one day. I made it an issue in our marriage every day. I can’t tell you how many fights I picked with him just making sure that he loved me. I was testing his love all the time and we have to quit doing this to ourselves. I had to start seeing myself through his eyes. Each day when I would do one thing for myself, I had to remind myself, you must love yourself because today you took that shower. I have suffer with depression so much during my life. I can’t tell you how many days I’ve woke up so depressed and thanked myself for getting in the shower and getting out of bed.
That’s how you start on the journey to changing the narrative. It’s not easy, but we have to do it. I could go on and on about it, but I’m obviously getting very emotional, so I’m not going to go on and on about it.
Is it okay to still feel a little hungry after you’ve eaten when you know you’ve had enough? You haven’t had enough if you still feel hungry. So if you feel a little hungry, I want you to think about, your body is saying if it’s still hungry, it’s like you haven’t had enough. So don’t judge it so hard.
How do I learn when I’m hungry? I feel like I wait till I’m starving and most days I only eat once a day and it’s after my sugar has dropped. So when you’re inside our program, make sure that if you’re one of our members, make sure you’ve listened to module one. Module one of No BS. We talk to you about all the different ways the body signals hunger. So make sure that you have listened to that. There is also a cheat sheet in there that you get that gives you, like here are all the common symptoms from subtle all the way to hardcore.
What usually happens here is that most of us have been on so many diets where especially those calorie counting ones where the only time you get to eat is not when your body is whispering hunger. But we condition ourselves to think the only time we’re hungry is when our body is screaming for food. When we’re way past the body’s tolerance level where it has to loud and clear demand food. We don’t want to be doing that. We want to be a baby. Think about when we’re little. Babies’cry when they get hungry, they do not wait until they’re starving. The second a baby thinks it needs food, it’s like wee wee, it starts. If you don’t give the baby food, what does the baby do? It gets louder and louder and louder and then it’s in a terrible fit. And then it just like how many babies have you seen? Let’s say mama couldn’t get there in time. They eat until they have to spit up.
So we want to make sure that what we’re doing is we’re learning how to listen to the early signs. And when we’ve done a lot of diets that have conditioned us that we’re supposed to be really hungry, we trick ourselves into believing that’s the level of hunger we have to be at. You need to be at slight hunger. But for so many of us, we’ve tuned out of those signs. It takes a while to start listening. So if you’re in No BS, please listen to module one. There’s two videos you need to make sure you listen to. There’s the one on hunger, then there’s the one on phases of change because it takes a little bit of time in order for you to get used to waiting for hunger and getting to know it. So we’re going to break a few eggs before we get to being successful at it.
All right, let’s do one last question. When I make my meal plan for the day, do I need to be specific about what I’m going to eat? For example, half a sandwich and 10 Pringles and one apple? Or can it be loose? I like to plan loose. The only time I ever get specific on my plan, number one is with alcohol. I don’t plan loosely with alcohol because that’s one of the things that I know that once I start drinking, I want to have what I call my guardrails. So I want to know exactly how many drinks I’m going to have. That just makes it a lot easier on Corinne, especially when she turns into possibly buzzed up the clown or drunkie the clown. And I like my wine.
So I’m going out of town this weekend with my best friend. I’m speaking on a huge stage on Sunday at a big conference and I know I’m going to be a little nervous and I’ve got to be there for three or four days and I’m going to be really busy the entire time on the go. And it’s at a conference where a lot of people know who I am. So I’m likely to be like all the time people wanting to be like, Let me get a hug, let me get a selfie. Let me tell you how you changed my life. All that kind of stuff.
By the way that’s not a problem. I just know for me, by the end of the day, I’m usually emotionally worn out because I am the kind of person who will take every selfie and I will give every hug and I will do all the things. I understand how important it is for people to be seen and heard, and I just feel like if I can do it, I’m going to do it. But I also know it comes at an emotional expense for Corinne. So I plan my drinks. I know also, nuts are another thing.
I get one baggy. So I pre-portion my nuts because I know if I sit down to a can of nuts, I am likely to just go ham. But when it comes to salad, when it comes to other things like a sandwich, I just put down sandwich and I just eat until enough. So what I like to do is I like to on my plan, think about, would putting a quantity on this be helpful for me? Because I don’t have to, I only want to put quantities around things that will give me a pause to be intentional and that feels really good.
Now, what doesn’t feel good is say like you have to put down numbers, otherwise you’re going to eat your fucking face off. We’re not going to do this like a shrill. We’re going to do this from compassion and understanding. If putting numbers down feels compassionate and helpful, we put the numbers down. If for right now it feels too restrictive, we don’t put numbers down, but we really dial. We know that the trade will be to dial into, I’m going to eat slow. It’s more important for me to learn how to stop naturally because of my body.
So the key here is we’re always looking for a way to do our planning where it feels safe, comforting, easy, committable, doable. It should feel like, okay, this is me taking care of me. I’ve thought about my needs. I’ve thought about what I want to work on. I’ve thought about what works best for me. I’ve stayed away from scared and out of myself. I’ve done all of, I have legit taken care of me. That’s what the plan is about. That’s where most diets go wrong. Their plans are not about taking care of yourself. They’re about the do’s and don’ts, The good and the bad. You have to or you’re failing. And I don’t like that stuff For people who are trying to lose weight, I don’t think it works long term. I think it makes us feel like shit. It drives up our anxiety and overwhelm. So that would be my best advice to you.
Okay, tag someone in this video. You’ve watched it. If you liked it, all of y’all probably have somebody you text all the damn time about losing weight, exercising you know what you are and aren’t doing and stuff. Tag them so that now you’re building your support circle around this message. Share it on your page if you feel like you get a lot of value from me, I know a lot of you listen to the podcast and stuff. It helps my podcast and it helps my message grow when you’re sharing my message. And then take nobsfreecourse.com, make sure that you have taken that free course. You’ll get invited to join the membership. If you take the free course, I will help you. So even if you decide you don’t want to join our membership, that free course will get you into my world. You’ll never miss a Facebook Live. I will send you emails about it. I send motivational things out, and that free course is just super helpful.
We’ve had hundreds of thousands of people go through it. I get emails every single day from people who say, Your free course changed my life. Thank you so much for having it.
All right, everybody, thank you. I will be back next month. I think believe this is the second Tuesday. Somebody on my team will let me know. Maybe it’s the third Tuesday of every month. If you’re on my email list, guess what? You’ll know exactly when it is. nobsfreecourse.com. You’ll have a good one. Bye y’all.
