We often think of food pushers as evil doers.
“Don’t they see I’m trying to eat better? Listen to me! Do I look like someone who wants a piece of cake versus this apple I am eating?”
“When will they get. Ugh. This is my new lifestyle. They should respect me more.”
Most food pushers are simply this: the people in our lives who love us and aren’t trying to SABOTAGE our efforts. Offering food or wondering when the diet ends is more about them wanting to ensure you are happy.
We often condition the people around us. We teach them through years of emotional eating that we are HAPPY when we eat.
Think about it. What have you taught them by our actions the last 1, 5 or 15 years?
We start “the diet.” We go from that fun person who can put a pizza down like a champ to someone who is miserable with their “diet food” or on high horse about their “clean eating lifestyle.”
Your inner circle is like, “Hell, you sure were more fun when you were eating!” So, is the problem the food pusher or the way you are thinking and acting?
I tell my clients to go confidently and quietly about losing weight. Know your goals. Be resolved.
When people “push” the food on you there’s the choice. Just because you don’t like being tempted doesn’t mean you have to be mad. I often find we get worked up over food pushers because we FEAR BEING TEMPTED.
Y’all that’s the nature of the world. You can deal with the fear or get pissed at people in your life. Dealing with fear is what will help you lose weight. Getting pissed at everyone will eventually have you throwing in the towel. Besides, it’s no way to LIVE!
At parties we also encounter food pushers. WE SHOULD! It’s a party! People associate a party with food and fun. Is it them being a “pusher” or is it them simply wanting you to have a good time? Remember, people think, “If I like it then surely everyone does too!”
People are not used to US walking the walk when it comes to eating “healthy”. If you are like me you have spent a life time teaching your loved ones that you start and stop diets on whims. That’s not their fault. Even if they push food on you.
You have a choice. Always.
You can practice saying no and get skilled at owning your new lifestyle. The alternative is to practice giving up and blaming others in your life for derailing you. It’s your choice.
ACT HAPPY while you eat the apple instead of the cookies! Rather than reminding them of your DIET, use it as an opportunity to tell them the good things happening to you since you changed some food habits. You could say…
I do like cookies but this apple is great and it’s what I would love to eat right now.
You are right, one cookie won’t hurt me. But, I’ve had one cookie almost every day of my life and it’s time I try one apple and see where it gets me.
Since I changed just a few things for the better I’ve noticed I am proud of my choices. Sometimes eating things that taste good in the moment leaves me feeling bad. I want to try the good feelings for awhile.
It’s so important to have things you can say. I’ll tell you this…the more you say these things the BETTER you feel. Seriously, you’ll feel like you are owning your choices instead of playing the victim to people with a cupcake.
Let people SEE you feeling good, speaking confidently, and enjoying your life. Losing weight is not a soapbox for misery and bragging. I know it sounds crazy but we all know that girl who diets and is either bitching she can’t have anything or telling us why our food choices are crap. Don’t be her unless you want food pushers or to lose your friends!
“Girl, eat this cookie and get off my back!”
So remember, WE CHOOSE what we eat. No one really forces food down our throats. It is our responsibility to own our choices when faced with the temptations. That’s hard…but it’s doable. Easy is labeling our “caving” as someone pushing food on us.