Where It All Began
I was an obese kid who grew right into an obese mom. Daily I would think, "You will always be fat. You can't lose weight."
I felt hopeless most of my life. Ashamed that I had to shop at Lane Bryant. Worried if I ordered healthy food that people would think, "She's on another diet." Worried if I ate the "good stuff" people would think, "There goes the fat girl eating large like her ass."
That was my life from about age 11 when I did my first diet with Weight Watchers until I was 30. Day after day of starting a diet in the morning, on Monday, on the first of the month only to fall off the wagon as quick as I got on.
I finally woke up one day and was just TIRED. Tired of not believing in me. If I couldn't believe in me how could I ever change?
It took a lot of work and no magic. It was the work that helped me lose 100 pounds and keep it off.
Now I teach other women how to change their lives.
Just Being Honest...
I used to think I was unloveable. Who loves "fat people?" I didn't love myself so how could others? I was eating McDonald's daily to cope with everything wrong in life. Busy? Stop at McDonald's. Tired? Get a McFlurry. Angry? Supersize a #2. Hopeless? Supersize a #2 with a McFlurry and a Diet Coke (got to cut back somewhere).
I was a hot mess express.
But what I had going for me was a desire and dream of being healthy and fit. I never quit starting diets even when they all failed. There was something in me that knew that there had to be a way if there was a desire.
What Was at Stake?
That desire was ILLUMINATED with my family. I didn't want to pass this legacy of obesity to my son. I had a husband I loved dearly but felt so unsexy that I often withdrew.
My family was my bottom line to change. All those years of doubting anyone could love a fat person were proven wrong. I had two men in my life who loved me more than I could love myself. And, I finally felt it. That spurred me into action.
The Last Diet
I remember the day. I was on the couch. It was 10am and my one year old wanted me to play. I looked at him and the dreaded words flew out of my mouth, "Mommy is too tired to play." There it was. The same words my mom said to me thousands of times that I never wanted to utter.
My body wasn't tired because I was a working, single mom. My body was exhausted from carrying 250 pounds of weight all the time. I was fat. I wasn't overworked. I was overfed.
That night I cried like a crazy person to my husband. I mean an all-out-ugly-cry. I told my husband, "I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow but I'm doing better than this."
And I did.
It Wasn't Easy
I had zero experience with cooking, sports, exercise, or losing weight without a strict diet. My plan was to take it slow, never do anything I wasn't willing to keep doing daily, and have no weight loss goal. No more saying I am losing 100 pounds.
I knew I could walk. Off to the YMCA I went. It was slow and painful. I made it through 15 minutes and was done, red faced, and defeated. I just told myself that I can do this. It can only get better if I keep showing up. I had to drop the bullshit thoughts of how out of shape I was and that it was hard.
It was HARD weighing 250 pounds. "Corinne, choose your hard."
I Didn't Do It Alone
The days I wanted to quit my husband would step in. He made sure to be home on time each night so I could go to the Y. Rather than calling it time to exercise he would say, "I'll be home so you have time for you." Wow. It was the first time I called exercise time for myself. I called it quite a few names in my past but time for me sure wasn't on that list!
When I doubted myself he would remind me of all the things I was doing better now. And, when I didn't know something he would help me find a book and encourage me to learn.
He simply believed in me until I could do it myself.
I Had to Learn to Make Do Instead of Quit
There were days I would go to the gym and the treadmills were full. I learned how to try new things even when I was afraid. I learned how to ask for help with other machines.
When we travelled I worried I would break my diet. Instead, I learned how to think ahead, problem solve, and prepare.
My biggest trial was with the SCALE. The weeks I didn't lose weight were awful. I was working harder than ever in my life. But those weeks taught me to see progress in other areas. It also taught me how to make smart adjustments to my plans, to review what I was doing, and to be patient.
Soon I was signing up for races. I wasn't fast but I wanted to do things my friends did. I trained for some 5ks. Coming in last was humbling but awesome. It was the first time I ever thought, "Last place is the girl on that couch."
My clothes were falling off of me. I was making changes to how I ate and seeing big improvements in the way I viewed life. I went from being a victim to being the creator of my life.
There was a moment when I knew this is it. This IS my life. It was the day I broke 175 pounds. I never thought I could get below 175 until that moment. For the first time I didn't feel like I was dieting. I felt like I was doing things that made me feel good. When I saw 174 pounds I cried.
The Best Lesson of All
What I learned is that none of my weight loss would've happened without first changing my thinking. The day I went from "you'll never lose weight," to, "I'm going to figure this out," the world changed.
It freed me from dieting. It was the day my life started.
Now it's my passion to help other women find their life; to feel as good as I do each day. I built PNPTribe so women can voice their fears, ask questions, and get the support they need to have their own journey like I did.
I know what it's like to start your success story. I want to help you create the healthy life you dream of, like I did 100 pounds ago.