How many of you have lost weight? Most of us right? Now, how many of us once we lost weight still had "things" we didn't like? We liked most of it but there was always, "This is good but this would be better!"
I remember losing weight and spending so much time focused on my saggy legs. Here I had lost 100 lbs and when I competed nearly 125 lbs. I was SO PROUD except I would deny myself a good bit of happiness because I had loose skin. If only the loose skin was better THEN I could be happy.
The Evolution of Me
Here's some pictures of me and the thing is that at each time these were taken, except for the LAST one, I always felt like I was just not good enough. I was proud of what I had done, enjoyed my new body, but was never fully present. There was a good part of me that either talked negative to myself or switched to saying, "When I lose more weight or get surgery THEN I can be happy."
That brings me to the point of this blog today. One of my members re-listened to a Life Coach School Podcast and was so MOVED she posted about it in our exclusive members forum. Then, a bunch of the #PNPTribe started listening and we all got to talking. Shocking, I know, that we are all talking and figuring out how to live our best life. That's just what we do.
The message can be summed up by this quote from the podcast...
Being aware of the present moment simply means you never believe the illusion that the future is going to be better than what is going on right now.
- Mateo Tabatabi and The Mind Made Prison
He goes on to say...
Plan, dream, and organize all you want. Just don't believe what you are going to have in the future is better than the present moment. You will ALWAYS be in this moment. Allow yourself to be happy now because NOTHING EXTERNAL in the future will change that permanently.
In those pictures, I would dream about plastic surgery and did a decent job of being happy with my body. On a scale of 1-10, I was living a 5. One is where I started. Five seemed pretty good, but I wanted to feel like a 10! And not feeling like a 10 made 5 seem blah.
So, surely having my body fixed would do that! I've had my boobs, tummy, butt, neck and thighs all done as you can see from the pictures. They still ain't perfect! They aren't even close to my dreams. You should see the girl I visualize! And, it's OK to have that dream or goal so long as you aren't denying yourself HAPPINESS now for the sake of it. That's when a dream turns into an obsession.
Obsession is defined as "a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; often occurs with anxiety."
How To Be Happy At Any Weight
For years I felt obsessed with my desire to get my body right so I could be happy. It's no different than any one who says, "When I lose 10 or 100 lbs. I will be happy." That idea of weight loss is keeping you from your happiness now. You get caught up in the idea of what life can be like and miss out on a million moments going on around you now.
The difference between my own thinking now and then, because I can tell you I still have my own goals for this body, I used to think, "Until I lose 10 more pounds or see my legs shape up I won't accept this body. It can do better. I just need to work harder, cut XYZ out of my life, and then that body will be great."
I was cutting things that brought me happiness and teaching myself that I had to deny myself happiness if I wanted to get happiness.
Now I look at my body and say, "This is where we are today. What are we going to do feel great?"
And I enjoy the PROCESS of feeling great. It's really easy to never be happy when you are practicing over and over again how to never be good enough.
Trust me, I come at my healthy goals of losing a few pounds or getting faster from a place of love. If I can't do it without the choice feeling compassionate, loving and good for me then I don't do it. Sometimes that means I choose to NOT have something because it feels empowering. Sometimes it means I choose to HAVE wine or dessert because it is a moment with my family filling my emotional tank.
My decisions are based from a place of what brings me feelings of joy and happiness; not a way to EARN joy and happiness. There's a huge difference and is a game changer to losing weight AND KEEPING IT OFF!!!!!
Why I Am A Kick Ass Weight Loss Coach
Keeping weight is off is why I started PNP. I did all this to teach women how to find that LIFEstyle. I want them to keep the weight off they lose. It's not about me giving you a diet or workout. There are plenty of plans and videos on the internet. I have some of my own I offer in our exclusive member forums, but the secret sauce to what I teach is that the stuff you say in your head is going to dictate ultimately what goes in your mouth.
And, when you can honestly tell yourself it's OK to be happy now while making THE RIGHT plans THAT FEEL GOOD IN YOUR BONES to be a thinner version of the already happy you - well, honey, you got a shot at losing this weight forever.