Ahhhh…the holidays. We go in with visions of perfection, families gathered around beautiful tables, and everyone hugging, laughing and saying loving things.
Right. For some of us, the holidays end up being…
Some asshole asking if we gained weight since last year.
Filled with tension as family recounts the past and someone “remembers it differently” leading to people fighting.
And, our cousin showing up with a t-shirt that reads “Instant asshole – insert beer here.”
In the coaching session today I teach you three tips to not stuffing your face.
1. Anticipate the obstacles.
I think it’s fine to visualize best-case scenario. We always want to set our expectations high.
But, if your family gatherings usually end up in tears or people disappointed, then going in with some realistic strategies for yourself is super helpful.
Knowing that people are likely to get upset, you can decide ahead of time how you will respond. Rather than thinking, “I ate because they are assholes,” you can opt for, “I won’t eat because they are acting like assholes.”
2. Have a food game plan.
When you go into holiday meals, it’s important you have your game plan. Make a doable and realistic food plan of what is WORTH eating.
And then have that FIRST. Enjoy your food. Then the rest of the day go back to lesson one: I don’t eat over assholes.
3. Stay out of the kitchen.
This is simple. If things are loud, tough, or emotional, then it makes sense you distance yourself from the distraction of pie and mashed potatoes.
You’ll cut so much nervous bullshit eating if you just don’t stand over the food hoping to stick to your plan.
Watch the video to hear this and more.
Corinne does a full holiday training with her tribe members. Today she is sharing five things that will help you on Thanksgiving or for any other type of event or holiday.
#1 Don’t loiter around the food.
At Thanksgiving, you might see people who you’ve allowed to push your buttons in the past. Don’t hang out with them in front of food. Sit in another room. Notice when you’re standing around the food.
It’s not uncommon to worry ahead of time about people that you might have to deal with. You go into the event worried, anxious, and aggravated and then you wonder why you eat. How often are you overeating in life because you’re not dealing with worry, anxiousness, and aggravation? Before you go, don’t sit there and work yourself up.
“I’m going to go to Thanksgiving this year and it’s going to be different.”
Notice when you wander back to temptation island aka the kitchen.
#2 Keep a nibble plate if you cook.
A lot of people do well all day long and then eat the whole time they cook. When you cook, pull out a nibble plate. It can also be called a BLT (bites, licks, and tastes) plate.
Keep a plate out. Every time you want to grab a bite, you put it on the plate. If it goes in your mouth before you put it on the plate, grab an equal amount and set it on the plate.
When you’re done cooking you can look at the plate and decide if you want it. It typically doesn’t look as tempting that way. When you’re putting equal amounts on that plate that you’ve snacked on, it allows you to see how much food you really are eating with those little bites.
People tell Corinne that their weight loss is slow or they’re on a stall, but they’re nibblers and aren’t actually realizing how much they are eating. Every bite is usually around 50 calories.
#3 White space on the plate.
Go into Thanksgiving, get one plate and decide you’ll have some white space around the edges and in between all of the food that you’re eating. You just get one plate of food.
The tribe members have been working hard in their accountability groups and in the Facebook group coming up with ideas to help them handle the holidays. Corinne pops into the group on holidays to spread the love. She doesn’t want her tribe members to feel alone.
#4 Hydrate and eat all day.
Don’t skip eating all day and come into the meal starving. If you go into the meal starving, you’re more likely to say f it and overeat. Don’t go into the meal restricting yourself from food and not expect yourself to binge out on food.
Eat your normal breakfast. Eat your normal lunch. Drink your water. You will be more likely to go into the meal knowing that your body isn’t starving and eat way too much.
Plus, if you wait too long to eat, you may get hangry. Being hungry and angry can only lead to crappy thoughts.
#5 No F It’s
A lot of people go into Thanksgiving and say “f it, it’s Thanksgiving, I deserve it, it only comes once a year.”
Corinne doesn’t care if you overeat, what she does care about is how you do it. F it mode means you turn off your brain because you don’t want to judge what you’re eating because you know you’re not eating in a way that is with integrity to what you ultimately want for your life.
No matter what happens this Thanksgiving, if at anytime you think you want to just keep eating, don’t turn your brain off. Practice no longer turning your brain off like it doesn’t matter because it always does.
If you turn off your brain and just eat, tomorrow it will feel like shit. Tomorrow you’ll be so full of judgement. You won’t like yourself.
You’re better off staying in the moment and not liking your actions rather than not liking yourself and how you’re showing up for yourself. When you turn your brain off, you eat way more than you ever thought you would.
Before you learn to eat less or eat different foods, you first have to be conscious of your eating period. Your brain may throw shade, but it’s because you want better for yourself. Your brain wants you to think about the version of you that wants the weightloss.
Go to www.pnp411.com and take Corinne’s free course. Also subscribe to her podcast (links below). She has a new podcast each Friday and the Saturday podcast is a re-airing of the Wednesday Facebook Live.
Questions & Answers
Q. Is it okay to plan to skip other meals and just eat the main meal? Is it okay to eat to a 3 or 4?
A. Eat regularly for the rest of the day. You can eat to a 3 or 4, but make a plan ahead of time.
Q. The holidays are so mentally exhausting. How do I fix that?
A. Why do you allow yourself to get so exhausted? Are there thoughts that make you feel more exhausted? Are you saying “I have to do this.” You don’t have to do anything. You choose to. Cutting out some of the mental bullshit should help. When it comes to the food, either send the leftovers home with people or portion all of them out in individual servings before putting them in the fridge.
Q. How do you deal with family members who try to get you to splurge?
A. That’s their thought. You don’t have to think the same as them. Tell them that this is how you splurge. You can splurge in a way that doesn’t make you feel like an asshole afterward and can hardly breath. You can tell them “I am having a great time and enjoying the food, do I look like I’m not?” Put it back on them. Or you can tell them that you decided to just eat the things that you really love. People are thinking that everyone should eat till their eyes roll back in their heads. If you’re eating to a 2, then you are full. Don’t go in saying “oh I wish I’d planned for that” or “I’ve been working so hard, I don’t want to ruin it.” When you say that, they’ll start to wonder if you think there’s something wrong with them and feel judged by you. If you don’t want to feel judged, you have to change the way you think. This is the way you’re eating and you get to talk about it in a way that feels wonderful.
Q. How should we handle alcohol?
A. Corinne is having it. Just put it on the plan. Put all that you’re going to want on there. Be intentional. Decide what is a doable, reasonable plan. Whatever you write on the plan, you need to be an 8 or higher that you can follow it.
Q. Tips for managing thoughts around people that you don’t enjoy?
A. For members, listen to the Handling the Holidays course on the website. There is also a Q&A on difficult people. Is it better to eat and drink because you’re taking what they say personally or could you just not take what they say personally? Their opinion can be noted and they can be wrong. Do you think Corinne worries about what people think about her?
Q. We are Italian and have several courses, what do I do?
A. Eat a little at each course. If I was going to be solving this problem, what would I be thinking? Nothing says you have to eat a full plate at each course. You can leave white space on your plate. You can eat smaller portions. You can eat really slow. Put your brain to work on how to figure this out, come up with five ways. The brain doesn’t like uncertainty and will start to come up with ideas.
Q. You don’t have to eat it just because it’s on your plan, right?
A. No, if you put it on your plan and decide you don’t really want it, you just don’t eat it. Sometimes on Corinne’s daily plan, she doesn’t know how hungry she will be, but she’ll plan food anyway and if she’s not hungry, she just doesn’t eat it. She’d rather have it on her plan as an option.
Q. Do we need to even say anything to be a good role model for our adult children?
A. Not a word. If they ask, you can tell them that you’re listening to your body. People most often learn by watching. When we watch people, our brain goes to curiosity. The reason why we’re overweight is because of what’s going on in our brain. It’s much easier to get a handle on the food and everything else when we get a handle on our brain.
Q. My in-laws spend the day talking about how great their lives are and all the great things they’re doing. How do I stay self-confident so I don’t go home and eat my face off? I don’t want to beat myself up this year.
A. Then don’t beat yourself up. When they are talking about how great their life is, you’re internalizing it that your life must be shit. Maybe instead you can be so happy that they are enjoying their life. Them talking about their life has nothing to do with you. That is your choice if you’re making it about you. Do you need them to tell you the bad things about their life to make you feel better about yours? The only thing that makes us feel better is when we decide to think better things about ourselves. Somebody else feeling bad doesn’t solve your feelings. You have to decide to feel better for yourself because you can and because you deserve it. You are not a helpless victim. Go to work on talking better to yourself. It’s not other people’s job to handle your emotions.
Q. I’m a workaholic that has 5 days off of work. How can I be intentional with my PNP time luxury?
A. Start with the weekly planning call and make yourself a plan for the time you have off. If you haven’t done No B.S., get the workbook out and do some of the lessons each day for maybe an hour. Do your 24-hour plan each day. Catch up on some of the coaching calls. Go on walks and listen to the private member podcasts. Be intentional.
Q. I recently decided to eat a plant-based diet for health reasons, but still overeat. Do you work with people like this?
A. Yes, we have all types of people with special diets.
Q. How do you balance eating healthy with a husband that brings home junk for the family?
A. Don’t harp on the kids about eating it. Remind them to eat the healthy things before the junky things. Maybe try and reduce, not remove, the junk stuff. Don’t be an asshole about it. Lead by example. Talk about eating healthy in a way that seems fun.
Q. It’s hard to make a routine because I work the nightshift.
A. You can still make a routine. Don’t call your schedule jacked up and flip-flopping. That’s a dramatic way to put it, and your brain will go to “this won’t work.” Your schedule is not screwing you. You know your schedule, make a plan. There is no schedule that requires a cheeseburger and fries to get through it. If you act like a victim of your life, you will be a victim to your food.
Q. I’ve been on vacation for the week and I’m afraid to get back to work. I have a lot of anxiety around getting the work done. Is there thought I can think that will help?
A. Remember that anxiety is a feeling. You’re stalling out in your action line. You will only ever be able to do one thing at a time. You have to get started, don’t spend additional time worrying about it. Your brain wants to freak out, but that’s optional. When in the anxious state, do the 90-second countdown. It’s just your brain acting like an asshole. Stop and countdown from 90 because it will help your body burn off some of the adrenaline and cortisol. Take a deep breath and remind yourself you can only do one thing at a time. Then pick the next easiest thing to start.
Reminder to go to www.pnp411.com and sign up for the free course. The tribe will be opening up for membership on December 29th. The membership will only be open for six days. On December 22nd, additional free training will be sent out in an email.