I broke down and did a workout during the #14days2awesome. Couldn’t help myself. I missed lifting and getting a good sweat going! Seems like I needed it to relieve some tension, too.
Yesterday we got some great news but also sad news. After a lot of soul searching, research, and work on our part, we are moving Logan to a new school. It’s a big deal for us. The school is expensive, FAR away from our house, and it’s not our family like St. Edward has been all these years.
Logan needs this opportunity and I can honestly say that I am thankful beyond words to God and the PNP Nation for making it possible to give him this chance. The new school, Currey Ingram, specializes in tailored education so Loggie can get the help he needs to one day go to college and chase any dream he has.
But, it’s sad for his momma. I have a network of friends at St. Edward that I won’t see every day. He has friends he will miss seeing daily. He won’t have religion every day, a mommy in the hall who checks on him and sends me texts, and a cousin he loves waving at him during the day.
Those are little things but stuff that made yesterday hard for me. We might be gaining a wonderful opportunity but we are losing some amazing experiences. I can’t say enough good things about St. Edward because they gave me my foundation in life and then did the same for my baby.
Last night I ended up eating like a donkey all worrying about this and grieving it. Yep, even I fall into the toilet eating and it was a whammy! The food was good, I won’t lie, but I ate a lot and it was stemmed from sadness and stress. The wild eating has triggered a lot of body image issues on my part and thoughts that some of my trusted “inner circle” is helping me process. Yes, I too am a proud client of my own PNPCoaching! These women help me stay sane and focused so I can be honest and upfront about my life. The last thing I want is to “act” like I am perfect to make the almighty dollar.
This morning I just needed to workout. I didn’t do it to sweat out some pie, wine, and fries either. I’m SMART enough to know you will never outrun the poor diet. I needed to feel strong because my heart didn’t. I needed to see my body in action and look at the things I love. I chose an arms workout. LOL. Let me just say the best way to love your body is pick a workout you like to see it doing. I didn’t need a punishment workout. I needed motivation to carry on today with my held high as I process my life.
That’s the thing. I need to do more processing. We just have a lot of moving parts right now and it’s the WRONG time to say I don’t have time to eat right, exercise, think about what’s going on with my brain, etc. It’s the perfect time to focus on me feeling great. I just have to define what that is. I know one thing…if momma doesn’t feel great she might get shit done but everything around her is in duck and cover mode.
My workout was what I needed. It cleared out my head and gave me some time to myself to think. I did Combat Upper Body Blast and then shot an arms and treadmill circuit for the private members. I warn ya! The Queen looked like it was #5amclub for sure. LOL. I rarely pretty up for the workout videos but you don’t do them to watch me look sexy. If you do then they aren’t hard enough!
I’m closing today choosing to be grateful. Grateful for new opportunities, good friends, an amazing son, loving husband, graduating yoga tomorrow, and grateful that I can come back from a pie in the face with healthy eating and still having a date night. I just won’t be having dessert tonight. 🙂