To lose weight we need JOY in our life.
Most of us want to enjoy our food. I agree! I think you should enjoy the food you put your in your body. All of it. And, I think that to lose weight you MUST be focused on finding foods that are HEALTHY and give your body energy that you enjoy eating.
It’s trial and error and takes time.
The drama comes up when people realize they aren’t eating tasty foods for fuel and energy. They are eating for fun, to hide emotions, to relax, escape, or to try and make themselves happy.
If you are eating instead of living to find your joy, connection, and relaxation then it’s nearly impossible to lose weight and keep it off.
A lot of us use food for emotional nourishment instead of physical nourishment. From the video…
“Many of my clients find when they come home from work at night or even when they’re taking care of kids in the evening, that’s when they need that extra bit of food.
They’re going through a stressful time. You know, it’s that witching hour with the kids and they think, “Okay, this is the time where I get to give myself a little bit of joy through my food.”
When I tell them, “Hey, that’s the time where you don’t need to be adding extra food because you’re in a high stress environment, that’s when you really need to be paying attention,” they all push back and find that that’s really difficult to do.
I find that diversifying your joy is key. You need to think of other things you can do in your life to provide you with that same amount of emotional nourishment. In fact, it’s a lot more emotional nourishment because if hunger isn’t the problem, food isn’t the solution.
If you’re trying to get joy from food, it’s just a real cheap substitute from actual, real joy that you can get from creating that in your own life.”
Right now, I’m in starting week four of #projectvegas2016. Chris and I travel go to Vegas in the summers to lay by the pool. I plan to feel amazing because I know this winter and spring I have lived healthy and worked to build muscle, etc.!
Part of this was taking a hard look at wine. I like wine. It’s my joy of choice. Chris and I decided January 4 to drink one night a week on date night and that’s it. Rest of the week we had to find other things to do that didn’t include wine-down time.
It hasn’t been hard to not have the wine until last night. Rocking once a week worked because we planned our date nights. It was exciting. Gave us something to look forward to. The rest of the week we’ve spent doing things we need to do so our date night is just about us.
This weekend it snowed big time. No date night. We did get out of the house Saturday. Long story but after two hours we found a restaurant open without an hour or more wait and limited menu.
I had my wine. Looking back I shouldn’t have. Here’s why: they didn’t have exactly what I wanted, I was frustrated at best, it didn’t feel special, and I didn’t take the time to ask myself do you REALLY want to have wine tonight? Some honest self-reflection and a little discomfort would have shown me that I should wait until when it felt RIGHT. I chose it feels OK.
Sunday. I started my period early and really wanted to go to the restaurant we had planned to Saturday. And have my wine. I wanted to relax. I wanted the night I had planned and wasted on Saturday.
I was looking at the wine to give me emotions I wasn’t willing to create for myself.
What I truly wanted was to feel in control! The only emotions I generated were…
- Cheated out of a date night because of the snow storm.
- Lack of control because I was getting to do what I wanted.
Like a good teenager I threw a fit! Mother Nature has been totally in control lately…from my wicked respiratory infection, TOM, and snowmageddon I had my ass full of not doing what I would like to do when I would like to do it.
And THAT is a problem with weight loss. So often we eat or drink hoping to find a bunch of emotions we want to feel. We are busy using food and booze to cover up shit we don’t want to feel and create the things that we really want.
I really wanted to feel in control of my good time. Funny…I was in control. I just threw a hissy wine fit that puts pounds on my ass instead of choosing controlling my impulses. I wanted control. I just chose the wrong way to exercise it!
Oh. My. God. I hate when I call bull shit on my own self. All I got was a big fat delay in my summer bikini results and a host of life lessons.
What is key, though, is being honest and reflecting like this. I’ll know to look deeper next time. There’s 12 more weeks until we hit the pool for the first time. That’s 12 weekends to get it right…to improve. Going in with a well-flushed out experience is a lot better than just saying today is a new day! No reflection; no learning.