From Fit Mama on Facebook today…
“Next to “don’t you miss your boobs?” the most annoying thing people ask about my weight loss is “Doesn’t your husband feel so lucky now?”
My husband is a great man. But he did not marry me in hopes that I would lose weight. He did not marry me because he is a martyr. It does not make anyone a candidate for saint hood because they love an overweight person.
There are lots of ways to have an attractive body. At no point in my journey with my body was he not into it. I promise. And I don’t mean, “He just loved how smart I was so he forgave my flaws.” THERE ARE LOTS OF WAYS TO HAVE AN ATTRACTIVE BODY. What individuals find attractive is very… individual.
The man I married is the shit. He is talented beyond belief, he is hard working, he loves hard and he’s the kind of Daddy hallmark movies are made of. There are a lot of reasons he’s amazing, and there are a lot of reason’s he’s lucky. None of those have anything to do with my weight loss or gain.”
A lot of us will SAY our husbands don’t love us as much because of our weight. Be honest with yourself. Are you using that as an excuse to push away the help, support, and love from someone who may be your biggest cheerleader? I know some of you aren’t that lucky, but MOST of you married a man who loves YOU…not YOUR outer shell.
I think many of us don’t love ourselves like the people in our lives do. We find it hard to accept love and support when we don’t give it to ourselves. If the internal message is always one of not being good enough, being ugly, and unworthy of things because we’re fat, isn’t it natural we will reflect those same thoughts on others?
Basically, don’t put that on the people who love you. Ask what they love about you and then care enough about yourself to make THAT the most important thing. I bet it is rare that someone loves you MOST because of the number on the scale, the size of your pants, or the fact you are “smoking hot.”
I told a group of women the other day that I would trade 30lbs without question if it meant I could keep the life I have now with my husband versus having a rocking body but a shallow marriage. The joy in my life isn’t my weight loss. The joy is my family. The weight loss has simply made it easier to appreciate all that I have because I let go of garbage and put in it’s place a lot of clean food, clean thoughts, and clean living.