Dieting can be a lonely journey.
Not everyone in our life always gets what it’s like to…
Have your favorite foods in the house that you have a hard time saying no to.
Cut back on eating when you really love food.
Watch other people eat what they want and you just “use control.”
There are two things to know.
1. You can’t wait for others to support you; go out and find people who do.
In the online world, it’s so much easier than it was 14 years ago when I was going it alone to lose 100lbs. But even then, I made it my mission to figure out how to find some people I could lean on.
I had to be vulnerable with some of my thin friends and, shockingly, they helped me. No, they didn’t know what it was like to lose 100lbs., but they knew how to listen. I had to give them a chance instead of assuming they didn’t get it.
You can also find online groups if you don’t have people around you. I built my PNPTribe so women would have people like them to talk to. You can follow our #pnptribe on Instagram and leave comments.
Community is important. Feeling like you have people who get you makes a huge difference in weight loss.
2. Your loved ones aren’t supposed to get it; they aren’t in your head.
One thing that helped so many of my clients lose their weight was simple; quit waiting on people who don’t struggle with weight to know what it’s like to be you.
Kathy lost 80lbs. Her husband had no desire to give up Taco Bell, beer, and all the foods he loved.
If she was going to lose her weight she knew she had to learn how to deal with her food issues instead of focusing on what her husband was or wasn’t eating.
We forget that our head is full of chatter about our body and our weight. We hear it all day every day. Our loved ones aren’t as motivated to eat differently because the problem isn’t epic for them like it is for us.
Kathy finally decided to quit being frustrated about her husband’s food and got focused on learning how to change her own relationship with food.
That’s the key. When you work on you…YOU get results. When you work on others…you HOPE they change so you can work on you. It’s a lot harder to control other people than it is to control your own mouth.
Free training will be sent out to everyone on the PNP mailing list on December 22nd. To get on the mailing list, you need to sign up for the free weightloss course at www.pnp411.com. There will also be some special live trainings available as well once the tribe opens on December 29th.
The new © No BS Weightloss Course will be available to the members in January. There will be updated course information on the PNP planner. Corinne will also have 60 days of videos available to members with tips and training.
Corinne will help people figure out what they want from weightloss and the steps they need to take to be successful. She will help you identify what makes you not want to do it and how to get going when things get difficult.
We are only as good as the day after our first failure when it comes to losing weight. The people who join learn how to find what’s trigger them not to continue and override the “I don’t want to” button. Most people are really good until the first problem or until the excitement works off or until I feel lonely because no one is supporting me.
When you feel lonely in weightloss is it because your family isn’t eating the same things? Or because everyone can eat healthy and be fine except for me? Or my friends can do it and I can’t?
Every person is going to have to lose weight and support themselves and stop waiting for the world to be there for them.
Sometimes people want dessert in front of you. Dead stop, that’s all that’s happening. Don’t go to “I can’t have that, everyone else can have whatever they want.” I can’t have that does not feel good. Don’t go there. It’s not true. You can have it, but you are choosing not to have it.
If your thought develops loneliness and a pity party, you can’t just go up to people and tell them they can’t have dessert or appetizers. You need to take ownership for your thoughts.
When you choose not to have something, you get a good weigh-in. You get to feel proud tomorrow. You get to feel like shit right now because it’s tempting, but don’t act like you can’t have it. Dessert does look good and you’re a normal human being because you think dessert looks good. It’s okay to sit in discomfort.
When you don’t create your own pity party, you eat your salad and reinforce that you’re not alone. You’re choosing salad and it’s perfectly normal to be a little antsy because a fried chicken sandwich looks good.
If Corinne is going to have dessert, she’s going to have a blondie. It’s her favorite. It’s like a vanilla brownie with caramel sauce and ice cream.
Corinne teaches her girls how to lose weight in a way that’s doable. She calls it the “no want tolerance.”
In the tribe, the members have a food plan, but it’s not an all veggies and meat plan. You add what you want, not just the “healthy” foods. Corinne has all fruits, all vegetables, and her own special guidelines (such as if there’s a blondie on the menu, she’s allowed to order it and eat till satisfied).
You can go to parties and have fun. You have to separate what you put in your mouth and what makes it fun. If the best that happens is that you can’t eat and it won’t be fun, why are you at the party to begin with? Maybe it’s not a fun party. Maybe you should question what it is about yourself that makes it so un-fun that you have to eat.
If the best thing you can think of at a party is the food, why is that? What would your thoughts be about you and the party if all the food was taken away? If the best part of going to dinner with your husband is what you’re going to eat, maybe you need to look at your relationship more and the food less.
Tribe members focus less on what other people are eating when they go out to eat and focus more on what they’re eating and how proud they are at how far they’ve come. What other people eat doesn’t matter. It’s about the experience.
When you think “they get to have things I can’t” you need to change the thought to “I choose this, I’m choosing to take care of me now.” It’s your decision to make your choices tolerable.
You have to be able to step over the bar, not pole vault. Prove to yourself that you can do something that you say that you’ll do. Start with small steps.
If you don’t know Corinne’s story, listen to the first couple episodes of her “Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne Crabtree” podcast.
When Corinne lost weight, she knew she couldn’t get going the way she was going and knew she had to figure it out. She had to do things that she was going to be willing to do and start with small steps.
When you think “I’m not going to have any fun” you need to change the thought to “it will be fun one day, but maybe I need to experience pride more than fun right now.” Sometimes we think we are having fun by eating the “junk”, but we really want relief from our thinking that we suck or we’re never going to get there.
When you think things that don’t make you feel good, don’t let your voice be the only one in your head. Go to Corinne’s podcast and listen to her episodes. It’s better than listening to what’s coming up and getting derailed.
When you think “they don’t understand and I’m not supported” you need to change the thought to “it’s just gut check time.” You can support yourself right now. How can you support yourself in that moment without food? It’s okay to ask for support, but don’t expect it.
Questions & Answers
Q. I’m anxious because I haven’t eaten breakfast yet today because I’m not yet hungry. How do I get over the anxiety that I’ll never get to eat again?
A. You tell yourself “that’s a hilarious thought.” Your habit brain will tell you whatever it can to get you to eat instead of having to deal with the thoughts going on in your brain.
Q. I’m a college student and I’ve lost 25 pounds and I’m nervous because I’ll be at home over winter break and have less control over food. I haven’t had enough practice to say no to all the foods in the pantry.
A. Tell yourself “this is an opportunity for me to learn to say no to the foods I’m not used to being there. It’s the next level of growth for me.” Don’t see it as a scary event. It’s where you get stronger and practice the things you don’t normally get to practice.
Q. I have plantar fasciitis and I realize I’ve used exercise to keep my weight in check. I’m now gaining weight.
A. If you’re gaining, it’s because you’re eating at the activity level you were at and need to cut back. If you’re injured, you need more sleep. This is your opportunity to figure out how to get your mouth in check. You have probably gotten sloppy with your basics. Work on the 2-2. This is bringing to light a problem that was always there and it’s time to get to work.
Q. Can PNP help with binge eating?
A. There are a lot of binge eaters in the tribe. There’s coaching and a lesson on it, but it is not a treatment program. Corinne is not a doctor. The tribe is supportive.
Q. I lost my husband and I’ve been on a roller coaster with food and dieting since.
A. The two are separate issues. You don’t stress eat. You have stress and you eat. If you’re overeating, it’s because you choose to overeat. Don’t tie it to grief or stress. You have to stop thinking there are things that cause the eating. Your ability to lose weight has nothing to do with your husband passing away. You can miss him, but don’t make that about the food. Are you hungry or not? If you’re not hungry and you don’t eat, you may have to stop and deal with the grief that is still there.
Q. Any ideas for handling Christmas baking without eating all the things?
A. Visualize yourself ahead of time cooking and not eating. There was recently a podcast that came out with holiday strategies. When you’re baking, have a nibble plate and every time you want to have a bite, put it on the plate. When you’re done cooking, look at what’s on the plate and decide if you want to eat everything that’s on it or not.
Q. My husband says “you should taste this” and I’ll say “no thank you” and he’ll say “oh you should, you’re doing good.” When I say no, he gets hurt.
A. Tell him that it does look good and remind him that every bite counts. When he’s hurt, let him be hurt, he’ll get over it. Your spouse may not know emotional management, quit waiting for him/her to think like you. Don’t be upset because someone doesn’t think like you.
Q. I’ve been working on my default thoughts. I’ve noticed that I keep wondering if this is the way that I want to eat for the rest of my life. I think I have a hard time committing to anything.
A. Just be in fear. It sounds crazy, but tell yourself that it’s normal to be worried about doing this the rest of your life, just push through it. Get good at feeling fear. You’ve never been able to lose weight before and now you get to prove yourself wrong.
Q. My husband is worried that I’ll leave him if I lose weight. Was your husband the same?
A. No. Corinne just loved him. Tell him that you can understand how that would be scary and keep reminding him how much he means to you. His brain is afraid, let him be afraid, but be there for him. Show him how much stronger your marriage can get. It doesn’t have to be a me against you, I’m not supported thing.
Q. Maintaining is always an issue, what does the tribe offer for maintenance?
A. Phase four of the new © No BS Weightloss Course has a maintenance program. It’s one of the few programs out there that has this incorporated into the weightloss course. Right now the tribe has more than 80 women that have lost over 100 pounds (several have lost over 200 pounds). When it comes to getting people off of their ass and taking action, Corinne is the very best at that. It is her Wonder Woman power. Her plan teaches the basics of losing weight and how to keep going. Corinne will teach you how to keep it off after you’ve lost the weight. She will help you learn how to stop feeling bad about yourself and your weight. She wants you to lose your weight for good.
Please sign up for the free course at www.pnp411.com if you want in on the free training December 22nd.
Have an amazing week!