Starting Another Diet
Is your family SCARED to death you are starting another diet on January 1?
Maybe they are full of dread and already saying things like, “Don’t expect us to eat like you just because you have to lose weight.”
- They are not in your brain, with your daily thoughts about your body, and daily thoughts about what it would be like to lose weight. They don’t feel your pain and they don’t share your inner dreams.
- Don’t expect them to change on a dime because you don’t like your weight.
- Don’t expect them to have the same level of attachment to your desire to lose weight as you do.
- And for SURE don’t expect them to be excited.
- They want their Cheetos; not you wearing a size eight.
Your family doesn’t and shouldn’t be expected to carry your emotional load. Don’t work on what they put in their mouth.
- You have to lose weight for you and love yourself enough to do it.
- If you want your journey to be easier, then work on how you think about it.
Watch the video so you can get your shit straight.
What Is Your Mind Set Like?
You have to have the right mindset before you start trying to lose weight:
- I struggled with my weight as a child. I would try to lose weight, but was picking diets that wouldn’t allow me to have fun or build a lifestyle. They were restrictive and didn’t teach me how to deal with maintenance and I always gained weight back.
- When I started my last diet, my son was a year old. I was struggling to get off of the couch to play with him. I was fighting with postpartum depression, and I was eating all day and had no energy to do a diet that would cause me additional pain.
I knew something had to change and decided to figure out something I could do for the rest of my life.
Typically, when people start a diet, they do one of three things:
#1 Everybody else has to suffer along with them.
If you don’t make people suffer and eat the same things as you, then you end up sitting there and acting like a martyr saying things like “I can’t have that, I’m on my diet” or “I’m hungry, but I’m on my diet.” The people that love you see you sitting there miserable. They don’t want to see you miserable.
When you pick your next diet, don’t pick something that’s going to make you miserable.
When I work with my weightloss members, each day I have my members answer:
- “how can I make weightloss easy today?”
- “what is the thought that I’m working on believing today?”
You should love yourself and your food and what you’re building for yourself. People also tend to believe that if they don’t find a diet that causes them misery, they must be doing something wrong.
In the tribe, one of the hardest things for the members is setting up a realistic plan because they feel like if it’s easy, it must not be right. If you think that if you follow a miserable diet, then you’ll finally be happy when all the weight is gone, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
- When I lost my weight, it was one of the first times that I actually felt amazing.
- I loved how I was treating myself. It didn’t have to do with being thin.
What I really appreciated about my weightloss journey is that I was willing to eat better because I was willing to try new things and wanted to have fun with my food.
- I lost weight from a place of trying fun ways to try things.
- I also started talking differently to myself.
- I stopped being my own worst enemy and acting like a martyr.
Each day I asked myself “what are you going to feel best eating today?”
#2 We throw out all the junk food in the house.
People think that because they can’t have things on their diet or can’t control themselves around certain food, it can’t be allowed in the house anymore.
“Since I can’t control myself, the rest of you can’t have what you like either.”
- You have to take responsibility for your mouth.
- It’s not your family’s responsibility.
- When you’re losing weight, you have to learn how to have a better relationship with food. Punishing everyone else in the house because you don’t want to work on your relationship with food is not fair to them. No wonder they get upset when you want to start a new diet.
- A normal relationship with food means that you don’t have to hide food in order to control it. The only way you’ll ever get control over food is to add it to you plan and eat it without distraction. Oreos may not be as fun eaten at the kitchen table instead of on the couch snuggled under a blanket while watching tv. You have to put in control measures and eat them by yourself with a piece of paper and get to know them.
#3 We don’t talk about starting our weightloss program because we want to do better or we are out of love for ourselves.
We tend to start diets because we hate all these things about ourselves, yet our family doesn’t see us that way. It almost hurts their feelings because it’s like someone threw shade at their wife or mother. They want to defend you.
- You have to learn how to lose weight because you’re starting to love yourself. Not because you’re terrible or an F-up.
- Our family members will support us more when it looks like something where we are giving to ourselves or we look like we’re enjoying the process.
- When you start a diet, you don’t have to be selfish and put your family last.
- By losing weight you’re putting your family first by giving them the best version of yourself.
- When you do it for you and for the whole family, you’ll get more support.
- They’ll want to help you.
In the No BS Weightloss Program, it’s not uncommon for family members to say:
- “I don’t know what you’re doing, but please don’t stop”
- “you talk so much nicer about yourself”
- “I’m watching you not quit anymore”
- “you seem to be able to handle things so much better now.”
You may think the people around you aren’t supporting you, but they usually truly want the best for you and don’t want you to pick something that isn’t the best for you or makes you miserable.
- Weightloss shouldn’t take away from your family, it should be adding to your family. It’s the best thing I ever did for myself, and my family did not suffer through it.
- By me getting my shit straight around food, I have a son who naturally never overeats.
- I didn’t talk to him about this stuff, he learned it from watching me.
- I have more energy for my family.
- I’m a calmer person.
Your family loves you now, you just have to learn to love yourself too. You can love yourself with food in the right ways.
Reminder to go to www.pnp411.com and sign up for the free course. The tribe will be opening up for membership on December 29th. The membership will only be open for six days. On December 22nd, an additional free training will be sent out via email. You have to take the initial free course to be enrolled in the free training.
Also subscribe to her podcast (links below). She has a new podcast each Friday and the Saturday podcast is a re-airing of the Wednesday Facebook Live.
I need help so bad, Don’t feel good about my self. Only me! No excuses. I don’t know where to begin. Health issues . I want learn to eat right and not fight !
You are already showing up for yourself wanting to change. Good for you! The blog and podcast are a great first step. PNP Coach MJ
Dead on. I live alone and practice my relationship with food. Down 10 pounds😊
This is so awesome! Good for you! PNP Coach MJ